The start of the beginning...

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So what's brought me here? In this case, "here" has multiple meanings.

Here. As in my impending apprenticeship in a small but beautiful chocolate shop in Belgium that's run by a mother and daughter and produces exquisite and lovingly handmade chocolates.

Here. As in I am for the first time in my adult life not only single, but have no desire to be involved in a romantic relationship as the last two I had (one quite long, the other not so long, but both were men that I had zero clue as to what really made them tick until the time bomb went off - all over me) have frankly left me a bit burned out on love and what it's supposed to mean and entail.

Here. As in knowing that the word "selfish" can have a positive meaning. As in knowing that right now, by worrying only about myself and what makes me happy, that I'm not hurting anyone at all, but rather focusing on the self. Myself. I have no children or husband/boyfriend to worry about abandoning. The primary person that matters right now to me is, well, me.

Here. As in being at a major crossroads in life and being in the incredibly fortunate position to be able to indulge two longstanding wishes at the same time, while in the meantime combining my lifelong passion for travel into the mix. As in being able to learn to make good chocolate during the day, write in the evenings, and travel to nearby (and not-quite so nearby) cities on the weekends, scribbling my musings by the Danube River or after a walk through the bazaars in Marrakech.

Here. As in knowing that this time will be over before I barely begin to be aware that it's begun. And that's why I'm chronicling it. Many of life's best moments are so fleeting, but they can stay with us until the day we die, even the tiniest shreds; fractions of seconds.

The human mind can do any number of things with these moments. We can search frantically for a reminder, no matter how seemingly mundane, such as a rare scent or a single earring that long ago lost its partner. We can try to bury it and repress it, because we're so terrified that we may never be as singularly happy again as we were at that moment, and it just hurts too much to think about it. We may keep trying to relive it over and over again to its fullest capacity, but like with anything else that gives you a high, you're just chasing and you know it. It'll just never be that good again.

So...here. This is it. This all any of us have. And I'm here, in all of its permutations. And now you're here with me too...

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