Calgary+Montana Trip(Day 6+7)

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Woke up Day 6 flying high. Didn’t matter that I was waking up from a cold bed barely big enough for one. Didn’t matter that my knee was still screaming in pain. My body was still warm and tingly from the happenings of Day 5 and at the pace things were going, I was already my bed would be warm by the time she threw her next pitch.

But a pitch wasn’t thrown my way. Apparently tired as fuck from snowboarding, Chiaki passed out that day at 3pm. Realizing I couldn’t do anything, I decided to have good, clean, non-alcohol induced fun. I joined Yuriko, Yu and Shin in a round of cards. To make things interesting, whoever lost 3 games was subject to a dare (oh no, junior high all over again!).

We started off by playing this Japanese game, Placing 7’s. Its something 1st graders play and though it requires some strategy…there’s not a whole lot. We quickly discovered Yu was absolutely horrible at this game whose American equivalent would be something as simple as Tic Tac Toe.

She quickly lost 3 games.

Shin, Yuriko and I all looked at each other…confused “What the Fuck?” questions clearly written on our faces. It’s pretty hard to lose three consecutive times in this game, and by seeing what cards Yu was putting out…she seemed to be following the exact opposite strategy needed to win…in a game where there was only one strategy to win…

So we decided to test her and play the game Old Maid…and she did a little better (remember, this game is all based on luck)…and we were relieved, until Shin joked, “Keeping the old maid until the end is a great strategy!” To which Yu replied, “Really!? Thanks!” Dumbfounded, to shocked to speak, we sat in silence and annihilated Yu for another three consecutive games.

When Yu went to the bathroom, Shin lost it. He started teeing off on her like Tiger at the masters. “How can she be such an idiot?” “Does she have a brain?” “I renounce her as a Japanese person!” “Is she retarded?” “How does she know when to breathe?” “If she jumped out of a plane, she would lose directions and fall up!”

Laughing along with Shin at Yu’s expense, I stopped abruptly…Huh?

Something instinctual was nagging my head…What?

There was no reason why I, of all people, would stop laughing about anything…Think.

Something…

And it hit me.

Yu happened to be on my lineup.

This Yu, who couldn’t even see the basic strategy behind the most basic of games, Old Maid. This Yu, who quickly believed everything. This Yu, who was being blasted by, of all people, Shin.

I quickly realized several incidents where Yu’s naivety had tripped me up in the past couple of days. But since she was trying her best to help me, I hadn’t really gotten angry at her. She was like the fat kid who tries to waddle to first in little league, you can’t get mad because you’re deeply moved by the determination exhibited…or you’re busy picking yourself off the ground as you watch his tits flop in the air.

But not just Yu…Shin, Yuki and Soon Hae had all tripped me up during this trip. It was actually a miracle that I had gotten this far under only my power. I took a step back and reviewed the situation. I had a batting lineup composed of Ted, Yuriko and Yu. Due to our mutual races to the postseason, Ted’s help was invaluable…but Yuriko and Yu… Contrast that to the star studded outfield of Shin, Yuki and Soon Hae, two of whom made highlight reels for nabbing my would-be sayonara homerun in the summer. Shit. The stats were skewed grossly against me. Too worried about my batting form, I hadn’t focused on the coaching, managing and leadership needed to be a championship caliber contender.

I had to change this.

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Finally coming to realization of this situation, I sent my most reliable batter, Teddy out to scout Chiaki (in return for information on Soon Hae) and I decided to try and sign her outfielders to my batting lineup. Not only would signing these three to my team weaken her defense, in one swoop, my lineup would be bolstered to near mythical proportions.

I started off by quickly getting Yuki. He apparently fooled around with women quite a lot, so I, in the crudest of terms, told him I wanted to get laid. He quickly agreed to “help a brother out”. Since he didn’t really know Chiaki at all, he didn’t come with any useful information and basically he just agreed to stay out of my way and drop hints to Chiaki.

One down.

I was a little worried about Shin. In the legendary game of the summer, he had infamously robbed me of a sure homerun. Him and Chiaki were pretty good friends so I had to be extremely careful with him. However, we were pretty close by now, and I was banking on the fact that he was a fellow male. I decided to play it safe and greased the wheels first by gently reminding him of that night and how I promised I would do a graff piece for him. I quickly used some markers and made him a pretty awesome piece (If I may say so myself). He loves street art so he was really impressed with my New York City graff skills. After fulfilling my promise from that night, I slowly started exploring other things that occurred during our initial meeting. He said his initial image of me was an overbearing, loud New Yorker who was trying to fuck his friend—which is not far from the truth (in fact, I’m sure most of you would point out this is the truth). But apparently something I’ve done in the last few days in Calgary/Montana has convinced him otherwise and I’m cool in his book.

Time to reel him in.

In my most embarrassed voice I could muster while maintaining my heterosexuality, I informed him of my love for Chiaki. His mouth literally dropped to the floor. After sputtering for a few seconds, he managed to croak out that he would help me out.

Two down.

Now the real test. Soon Hae. I could’ve asked my two newly acquired batsmen to help me get her on my side, but I felt I should actually tell her everything truthfully. With these two guys, I had to put on the pretense of male machoism to win their trust, but with a girl like Soon Hae, especially an Asian girl prone to emotions, I was sure I could tell her everything without fear of repercussions. In fact, in a more selfish act, I wanted to tell someone straight up the crazy feelings I had for Chiaki; I couldn’t tell fellow male Teddy because men talk in a language where emotions don't exist, Yuriko and Yu are not the best candidates for conversations over 2 seconds long and though talking in the mirror is nice, I usually get depressed because my reflection makes sarcastic comments about my deficiencies.

When we went to bed, and the lights turned off, I started telling her everything. No, this is not for adding a romantic ambience to make her more accepting, or to catch her when she was tired and off guard but for a wholly personal reason: you can’t see a man’s face in the dark. Though I may put on this persona of a crazy New Yorker who plunges headlong into adventures while flipping off the world, when I talk about serious matters, such as love, I become a sappy, sopping mess. However, my voice doesn't really change much when I’m sappy and sopping so I was able to keep my guise of a macho manly man under the cover of darkness.

I won’t detail what I said to her because I have this persona of a “crazy New Yorker who plunges headlong into adventures while flipping off the world” to keep (at least in this tiny community of people who read my blog) but I will let you readers in on a secret. Tell someone exactly how you feel, without worrying about how stupid, crazy or retarded you might look and they’ll probably be moved and understand your feelings (though no guarantees that they’ll agree with you). By the end of my long, rambling monologue to her about Chiaki, Soon Hae joined me as a sappy, sopping mess.

Please sign on the dotted line, Ms. Kang. Congratulations on your new contract. We’re happy to have you.

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My lineup was stacked.
Things were slowly ramping up.

But in a strange twist of fate, we never found ourselves alone—not because anyone was trying to bust us up, but because even in a house as big as Teddy’s lodge, 8 people tend to get into each other ways.

This wasn’t any cause for alarm. As I mentioned, the stats were now heavily on my side and so was the momentum—I just needed a small push to get to first from the events of Day 5, and everyone on the trip was rooting for me. We would pile into the two Toyotas tomorrow, drive to Calgary and then, and then…

I would bust out the kokuhaku.*

*kokuhaku=climactic scene in a J-Movie where the male character confesses his undying love while gasping for breath because he ran 300km through a torrential typhoon.

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Photos

Me and Yu
Me: "Don't fuck shit up for me!"
Yu: "A butterfly..."

Chiaki, Yu, Shin
avg height...4'11?

Bored...
Before we started playing cards

Shin...
You know you got it bad when *this* guy is beaking on you

Me and Yuki
Me detailing my batting strategy to Yuki

Me, modelling
Though I overflow with confidence, I too have emotions

Shin, Yuki, Yu
My two new batters coaching Yu