Foul Mouth Missy, in Ol Mississippi

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Growing up in southern Virginia the word for uttering obscene phrases was called "cussing." This was something I rarely did there, and I've always attributed this to having much younger siblings in the household with a penchant for uttering these phrases back to you at the most inappropriate of times, to the mortification of visitors.

Then, I moved to NYC, where cussing had never been heard of, but CURSING is an art form. On the trading floors across New York 4-letter words were as common a part of the vernacular as hello, I need coffee, and buy/sell. Elsewhere in the City they also flew out in casual conversations with rapid fluidity.

Now, even back in NYC, my non-trading floor self really tried to keep that language in check - my deep Virginia roots still cringed every time they heard a woman say something, "unbecoming." Sexist, perhaps, but southern gentility still made some headway into Virginia. Anyhow, I generally reserved it for driving, where I'll be d@mn*d, j-ck@ss drivers really got to me, tried to kill me often, and let face it - only a passenger or two was ever the worse for wear, and my potty mouthed self faded back into the recesses after just a few minutes.

The entire point of this being, this is the same girl now driving through Mississippi on an actual schedule, with an actual appointment, with someone important.

And, this is the same Mississippi of just a few days previous, only it had lulled me into amnesia by the amazing friendliness of the people, and two days of reasonable driving, with no turns (left or right) required.

D@mn! Sh*t! F--- ( I still don't like that one)!! WHO DESIGNED THE ROAD SYSTEM HERE??

I won't get into it (die, Tupelo, die!) but suffice it to say, my nearly 2 months of southern "reconditioning" **(about 85% of the time these days I have stopped wishing dead on people, for instance) crumpled completely under the utterly inefficient stupidity.

Get me to Birmingham (lords name in vain), cause, like every good Southerner and NYer, I NEED A DRINK!


**I should note however, I did buy 2 voodoo dolls in New Orleans, so stay out of my way people, I'm not cured yet!

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