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Published: June 28th 2008
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Day Five
Todays breakfast: doughnuts. Only in America. Luckily, to augment these was the best breakfast option yet. A fruit bar from where one could choose a mix of blackberries, blueberries, strawberries, two types of melon, apples, kiwis and grapes – all topped off with soured yoghurt. Talk about a contrast.
After a horrible hour of unloading the campers bags from three large trucks, went to the computer room, and waited for lunch. At 12:30, the designated time, there was no sign of anyone downstairs. perplexed, but putting it down to the catering staff being off for the day, i headed back upstairs and carried on with my work. Fast forward an hour, and still no sign. I wandered outside to discover that lunch had been on the grass – f—king typical!
Was therefore hungry until 6pm, when the camp treated the girls from a nearby camp to the delights of an enormous 'Cook Out' (a term very vulnerable to typing errors). After this, hilarity ensued. Me and a group of non-sporting people started a game of frisbee on the field. A group played volleyball on the court – but several went in search of, and I quote
directly the term I heard most used, 'pussy'
I couldn't help but wonder though, what would happen even if our intrepid stud is successful and reels in a delightful young girl. Surely he is faced with a problem. There's nothing he can easily do about it. Being alone for some 'private time' is difficult to achieve (and a huge risk to take). Therefore he is in a similar position to the man who goes to a club, dressed up in his finest, coolest clothing, sidles up to some likely lasses and weaves a fine tapestry of flattery and friendship with palpable success– before leaving early after a quick goodnight. Nice meeting you, never see you again...
On a similar topic: a point of trivia. In New Zealand 'spading' is a term for flirting. To my mind, spading sounds more like the action of whacking someone with a spade (which, incidentally should hopefully eliminate the need for flirting). Are the two related? I can only wonder!
The evening also scored a victory for some cruder racial stereotypes, as the only black counsellor was sacked for stealing other peoples valuable items – chief amongst them Ipods and Iphones –
which were found in his bag. A clever criminal indeed.
Day Six
A boring day. We were allocated our cabins and campers for the duration of the seven week period. I'm with a group of seven ten year olds with an Australian counsellor called Clint. Between us we had to unpack all the kids possessions. Typically these were two big bags (working out as four or five suitcases), at least one of which was jammed with towels. Endless towels. One kid's zealous mother had packed him 13 cans of spray on suntan lotion and less than a quarter of a tube of toothpaste. Ominously they have water pistols, which I took great delight in unpacking just out of their reach.
Apparently we have a fairly decent bunch of campers. Have been told that one, Brandon, has a problem with his R's and W's – but is nonetheless a good, amusing kid. I'm sure therefore, that whenever he enters the room a little ranker will be heard!
The only highlight being a trip to a nearby camp for some 'friendly' sporting fixtures. Our football team lost, badly!
Day Seven
After an hours work
we got the day off, and had a bus laid on to take us to Old Ocean Beach. a seaside town an hours drive away. Upon arrival, a group of us went to wander around the shops and buy some lunch before chilling out on the beach. On offer was a feast of American cuisine. From every brightly lit sign a new offer emerged. Slices of Pizza, French (or should I say 'freedom' fries), fried dough, and, somewhat mysteriously 'steamed dogs'. Maine, USA – twinned with Korea.
It was here as well that I discovered more of the real America. Being a sports camp (outside of cooking / maintenance) I was one of the biggest people on the camp (thankfully beaten by a few people into that top spot). However, in the real world of non-athletes I can reap the benefits of Americas obsession with size. I may be large in England – but here, well I could push a medium. Who said that America's chronic obesity problem was entirely bad? (incidentally, if I was that size the last thing I'd want to be seen eating was a fried 15'' pizza all to myself.)
The shops were typical
seaside fare, except for once shop which sold real alligator heads as ornaments. This really needs no further comment.
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generationk
G
This entry is hilarious
nice, biting humor