Leaving My Worries Behind

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Wimberly worried. I worry. Unlike Wimberly, I worry in an adult way. Wimberly had to be encouraged to be brave and try new things. I however, love to jump at the chance to do something exciting and new, but worry about everything else. When I heard about the study in Florence, Italy, I jumped on board to try it out without a second thought.
When asked what I have done to prepare for my trip, I have to be honest and say that until the past two days absolutely nothing except the mandatory meetings, paperwork, and made a visit to the dentist and doctor to make sure everything is okay. As the last semester rounded up to an end, I was excited to just rest for a week with my family for the holidays after working so hard to achieve my goals for the past semester. However, after decorating our church with drapes of pine and holly, hanging the wreaths and lights with all of my Christmas joy and excitement I was exhausted! See, I worried because I was already a week late in getting it done and I didn't want to make anyone mad or disappointed. When I came home to do my own decorations, well, let's just say that if it weren't for my husband and daughter doing such a wonderful job, there would not have been any. Now that Christmas is over and our trip to Italy is upon us, I worry that my Christmas decorations will still be here when I get back at the end of January.
I have never traveled far away or been gone from my family since my husband's discharge from the NAVY in 1990. We have been home bodies until we started traveling a bit in 2009. We love it, however, not alone. My worry really started on Wednesday. I started worrying about my house and what a mess it had become. I worried about how yucky my kitchen had gotten over the holidays and how I would be so embarrassed for any one to have to see it like this. So, Wednesday I spent all day cleaning everything except the windows. Now I'm ready to leave that kitchen worry behind.
My husband is just as bad. He is a worrier too. But, his comes with anxiety. He was getting upset because he didn't feel that I had a warm enough coat to wear, and he had not gotten a chance to find me one before Christmas. So, I went to the mall the other day to find me a good coat. After visiting two stores previously and looking through all of the coats on the third, I was getting worried. Am I just picky you might ask? No. I am short and chubby. I was starting to add angerness to my worriness for the simple reason that there are no sizes larger than large. Do these companies think that all larger people just sit at home and eat like I've been doing for the past two weeks? Luckily, I came upon one coat in my size and I actually liked it! It is white and i worry that i will get it dirty. Did I mention it was the only one in a extra large size in the mall? I grabbed it and bought it and now I can leave that worry behind.
Now, i move on to the more important worries that have come over me as I prepare for this exciting trip. As I sat down to start deep reading my emails and instructions I became very worried. I knew that my husband would become confused quickly about my information about the trip. His mind does not work well due to being exposed to nerve gas while serving overseas in the NAVY. With that I began the rigorous copying all information and putting it in a nice organized form for both him and myself and highlighting everything important that he needs to know. I did the same to have with me on my trip. As I finished up with that task I realized that it's the first day of the month. I had not made my bill log for the year of 2018, and today is the day that I pay bills. I suddenly realized that I couldn't put this task off until my return because what if I don't return? I mean anything could happen, right?! How would my husband know what to pay and when, and if it is automatically withdrawn or to be paid with a check. My Worries started all again until I sat up to three AM to finish my nice organized book that shows him everything to do. Now I can leave that worry behind.
I thought i was on my way until after further reading my emails. I realized that I had to write a blog! I've never done this before, so please bear with me. I have very high levels of anxiety and worry when something with technology hits me in the face. I'm very clueless , but I always tell myself, " I'll figure this out if it takes me all night". Luckily, unlike other times, I've caught on to this one quickly today.i can soon post this before the deadline and leave this worry behind.
So, now what could I possibly be worried about Now? You might asked if i have packed yet. The answer to that is............you guessed it! No. I have gotten all that i need, and trust me packiing is the least of my worries. I went today and got all needed supplies and money. As i sat at the bank i began to wonder about how much to take with me. I started to worry about the "what if "of someone losing their money or being robbed or getting sick. I am one of the older people going, and I am a mama bear. Needless to say, I took care of that and all possible medications that anyone may need. The Good Lord above knows that I have worried enough about all the yuck that has been going around here the past few weeks. I have sanitized every grocery cart and used hand sanitizer every chance I have thought about it. So now I can leave that worry behind.
Finally, my final worry (that is on my mind right now?) is I have to write my assurance letters to all of my real and important worries, my loves. I'm pretty realistic and worry in the worst case sense. I know that I am not promised tomorrow. None of us are. I do not worry about dying, because I know where I'll be at that instant and God has the best waiting. However, I worry that I have to reassure everyone personally that everything is going to be okay. I guess I do that so much on a daily basis in this crazy world that I worry that no one will do that if I leave. So, as soon as I get done with this blog, I will be writing all of my words of li
Love and encouragement down "just in case" I do not come back in person to say them myself. Can I really leave my worries behind? Yes! I take care of them one at a time the best I can. Does it mean that I'm running from them or don't care? Well, of course not! I will leave these worries behind and pick up new ones on the way. Everyday is a new day and brings new worries toward my way. I have God in my heart and He helps me minute by minute to give me answers and clarity to take care of my worries, and guides me to leave them all behind.

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