RIHLA #23

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There isn't much to say about my beliefs. I have a very different prospective on how life should be. I have always struggled to fit in with others. The meaning of life isn't experienced how it was meant to be.
That was the old me, and in so many words, I have grown. Not physically but mentally/ emotionally. My growth doesn't start with a common story of being bullied or facing a life threatening moment, although that has happened to me, but it starts with a simple idea of honesty. Throughout the years, people have know me as the nice honest person. In a way I sort of agree, but that is because I was raised to have manners and to help people with problems. My friends know the type of person I am, and changing my view on certain issues was very questionable.
People say that the worst things in life are a breakup and family tragedies. Well having them happen at the same time was extremely bad considering I was losing two people I cared for the most, my boyfriend and grandmother. I was always the person my friends could count on to give them advice about relationships, boys, school, or other issues. When my own problems started to occur, I was more brutal with my advice because of the pain I was in. My friends would always ask me why I was being so rude or what was going on for me to not be happy anymore. I came to the conclusion that me helping and looking out for my close friends was no longer an option. I wanted everything to stop so they would feel my pain. Recently I just started to become more open with my feelings. I tell my friends everything that I feel no matter the subject. Talking to people about my problems has really helped me get past things and really think about what I can do to be the person I used to be.
My advice, however, has become more “real” in my view. I was always good at helping others, but now that I have been through a difficult time, I believe that people should hear the real truth, not just the pity truth that people usually say. I encountered a situation with a friend and instead of telling her not to cry or listen to what people say, I told her what she didn't want to hear because others were right. Even though she’s my friend, I wanted to help her by telling her she needs to watch her actions because people will continue to be fake towards her. Although she was mad I "snapped" at her, she appreciated me for being honest with her so she could change bad habits. Other people have taken offense to my comments, but I feel like if people ask for an opinion, they should be prepared for complete honest answers. If you can't be honest with others, there is no hope to be honest with yourself. I've learned the hard way that honest is the key to any answer.

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