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Published: September 11th 2019
Today is the last full day of our nearly three month long expedition, and we plan to spend it doing as little as possible. However before we do as little as possible we decide to take a short drive to the Wailua Falls, which we could see out of the plane window yesterday. The falls are beautiful. They’re actually two distinct streams next to each other and we read that they’re more than 50 metres high. Apparently one of their greatest claims to fame is that they appeared, together with the Na Pali Cliffs, in the opening credits of the TV series “Fantasy Island”. This aired in the late 1970s and early 1980s and featured Ricardo Montalban as the owner of a very mysterious island where people came to have their fantasies played out. I wasn’t an avid viewer, but like most people of my generation I vividly remember the iconic catch cry “Ze plane! Ze plane!” which Montalban‘s sidekick Tattoo yelled whenever he saw the guests approaching, which happened at the start of every episode.
We head back to the hotel and start a long and serious poolside session of doing as little as possible.
I wander down
onto the beach to take some happy snaps. As I’m lining up a shot I see a girl through the lens striding purposely along the sand towards me. I wait for her to get out of the way, but it seems she wants to talk to me. She tells me that she‘s on her honeymoon, and that she’s looking for a photographer to take her wedding photos. I would have thought it might have been a few days late for that, but she tells me that she bought her dress with her from Florida, and she just wants someone to take pictures of her and her newly acquired husband wearing their wedding gear. I assume she thinks I’m a professional photographer, but when I tell her that I’m just a tourist who happens to have a camera she tells me she doesn’t care; she just wants someone to take their pictures, and it doesn’t sound like she’s too fussy about who. This has to be a joke, and I look around for the hidden camera. She gets more and more insistent. She ups the formality by extending her hand and introducing herself as Rachelle. She then repeats my name back
as Dive. I’m now convinced that this is a setup; I thought the Dive thing only happened in Europe, and if it isn’t a setup I think I’m really going to have to look seriously into taking some elocution lessons. I tell her we’re leaving early tomorrow morning and she looks totally deflated. This has been very weird. I try to inject some normality into the conversation by asking her how she got on in the recent hurricane. She says that they missed the worst of it, but they were well prepared and now have enough bottled water and canned food in their house to last them for several months.
Meanwhile Issy’s decided to do as little as possible by having a massage. She comes back looking very happy and relaxed. She says that her masseuse was a handsome young Hawaiian man, and he did wonderful things to her with his hands. I hope she still wants to come home to Oz with me tomorrow.
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