Let’s Play Tourist in Central Florida

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This morning, I awoke in Tampa, Florida.

Tampa is an old port town that has become one of the state’s leading growth centers.

It has a beautiful historic district and some good museums.

Tourists don’t come here for any of that.

They come here for the Busch Gardens theme park.

Since theme parks are now an essential part of Florida culture, I came here (for now, anyway) to join them.

I chose this park out of all the parks in Florida because I haven’t seen it in a long time, and the rides at Disney have become too tame for my tastes.

That wouldn’t be a problem at Busch Gardens.





For some reason, all of the low priced hotels near Busch Gardens are lousy.

The chains known for descent standards, like La Quinta, take a nose dive when they get near Busch Gardens.
(Don’t ask about chains that are questionable to begin with).

Even the hotels recommended by the park website (WARNING: pdf) are rated by other travelers as absolute pits.

I wish I could explain why.

I ended up staying in a Howard Johnson’s near the airport, about a half-hour away, which I found through a coupon book.

Busch Gardens

Busch Gardens is a strange hybrid of a theme park.

Part of it is an African zoo almost equal to Animal Kingdom at Walt Disney.

The rest is an amusement park with some of the best thrill rides in the southeast.

The park is divided into lands vaguely based on different parts of Africa (Morocco, Kenya, Egypt, etc.)

The park does not carry out the themes as thoroughly as Disney does, so this aspect felt like a side show.

I like thrill rides, so I ultimately treated the place as an exotically decorated amusement park.





Maintaining ones sanity while visiting any major amusement or theme park requires a through plan.

For mine, I turned to Bob Schlessinger.

His “Unofficial Guide” book series to major tourist attractions is the ultimate resource for theme park visits.

They treat a park visit as an exercise in dealing with large crowds.

Every attraction is assigned a value rating for various age groups based on reader surveys.

Each attraction is also assigned a wait time based on direct research.

The value vs. wait time tradeoff is then used to create the final rankings.

It should come as no surprise that most of the attractions with the highest customer values also have the longest wait times, and vice versa.

The best part of all is that this data is then used to create park touring strategies that maximize the value vs. the total wait time.

They boil down to being at the park when the doors open and hitting the popular attractions first.

This requires a great deal of walking, but is totally worth it (for more detail, buy the books).





Bob’s book mentions one other important consideration to maximize the value from a park: timing.

Certain days of the week and certain months of the year are more crowded than others.

Truly crowded days are downright frightening.

The worst periods vary by park.

Bush Gardens attracts more locals and an older crowd that Disney, so a time when kids are in school should be a good bet.

I thought today was one of them.

(As it turns out, Tampa schools had the day off. Thankfully, other schools were in session and this did not impact the crowding too much).





Busch Gardens also requires a specific strategy because the park is large and confusingly laid out.

It has enough attractions to satisfy both thrill fanatics and animal lovers for a full day.

Seeing all of both requires two days.

The book advises seeing most of one category and the highlights of the other based on personal preference.

I followed that lead.

Given my love of adrenaline, that meant thrill rides.

Montu

The kings of rides at Busch Gardens are the roller coasters.

It has five of them.

Three of these rank as the best roller coasters in Florida in the annual fan poll.

The first of these was Montu.

Montu is inverted, so the track is above ones head and the seats hang down.

Riders sit in a bucket seat with their legs hanging in the air.

The staff straps people in tight, for good reason.

Once this thing starts, it soars high into the air with a vertiginous view straight down into palm trees.

It then drops, rolls over, rises, drops, and rolls some more.

There are seven rollovers in all, including an inverted loop (ones feet point straight upward at the top!)

I discovered on this ride that I have become really jaded in the thrill department.

I only screamed twice, once at the curve at the end of the first drop (the people next to me screamed the entire run).

I got more nausea at the end waiting to unload than at any point during the ride.



(LATE UPDATE)

Watch it from the front row!

Kumba

After Montu came Kumba.

Kumba is a more traditional coaster where riders sit in a car on the track.

The staff straps people in just as tight, however.

Kumba is even more intense than Montu.

It has a steady stream of features that simply do not let up.

It has loops and rollovers galore.

At one point, it flips (upside down, of course) directly over the entrance queue.

In another, it twists and turns through a tunnel.

It drops into holes in the ground three times.

At one point, it spirals around a hole like a snake.

I didn’t scream once, and walked out just fine afterward.

Quite a contract from my first technical coaster ride years ago, where I got so nauseas I nearly threw up.

Kumba was my favorite ride of the park.







(LATE UPDATE)

Watch it!

The next of the five is Gwazi.

Gwazi is a traditional wooden roller coaster.

This means it does not have the inversions that mark technical coasters, and makes up for it with drops and twists.

Like all wooden roller coasters, the track has distorted as the wood ages, so it provides a really bumpy ride.

I liked this coaster the least, due to the bumps.

In fact, I got more nausea riding this one than any of the others, due to the constant side to side motion.

ShikRa

Fourth is ShikRa.

This coaster provides a unique ride.

That uniqueness is also its biggest limitation.

ShikRa is a dive coaster.

After launch, the car is towed up the steepest and tallest launch hill in Florida.

The top provides a beautiful view of metropolitan Tampa, with downtown buildings shimmering in the heat.

The vehicle reaches what appears to be the end of the track, tips over the edge of a cliff, and stops.

ShikRa is called a dive coaster because the track really does dive, straight down.

Waiting at the top is the scariest view in the entire park.

After two of the longest seconds in human experience, the brakes release and down it goes.

At the bottom, the track goes into a curve and then a traditional roller coaster track.

At one point it passes a pool of water, and a scoop at the back sprays everyone in the vicinity.

That dive is the biggest scare in the entire park.

That dive also means the rest of the ride is tame by comparison.

I preferred Kumba, which provides equal thrills throughout.

(LATE UPDATE)

Here it is!

After those four, Scorpion may seem like a minor thrill.

It’s the parks oldest coaster, with old-fashioned cars on a pretty old and bumpy track.

It’s still capable of thrills, however, with an inversion loop and two corkscrews.

I found it the tamest of the bunch, which says more about my appetite for thrill rides than the rollover coaster.

Tigers

I was woozy enough at this point that I needed time to recover.

I did so at the park’s renowned animal exhibits.

Top of them all is the tiger habitat.

It’s an artificial lake and waterfall with several tigers.

Two of them are white, the rarest type of all.

There are multiple viewing areas, including one in the middle of the exhibit.

The area is small enough that every viewpoint is remarkably close to the animals.

The one in the middle had a long line when I visited, because a tiger had fallen asleep directly next to it!

Seen that close, the reason for the name “big cat” is very obvious.

Tigers have whiskers and padded feet and pointy ears, just like a house cat.

I certainly didn’t want to pet it, however.

Apes

After tigers came apes.

Busch Gardens is famous for its ape habitat, a lush recreation of an African rainforest.

I took almost as many pictures of the habitat as the actual apes, it was so detailed.

Most poignant for me was the chimpanzees, our closest genetic relative (and we are their closest, believe it or not).





The next ride for me was the most disappointing of the entire day.

The park has a recreation of eastern Africa called the Serengeti Plain.

One can jump in a large Land Rover with a park driver and take a quick tour of the plain.

It was too quick for my tastes.

We saw only four types of animals.

One of them was Florida’s unofficial mascot, the pink flamingo (which is not African).

According to a park employee, the attraction is being revamped in the near future.

Since this ride is at best a pale imitation of the one I took at Disney over a decade ago, it needs it.

Congo River Rapids

On the way out, I squeezed in one last thrill.

Congo River Rapids is a ride along an artificial river.

The bottom is deliberately designed to create waves and chutes.

These get people wet.

At one point, the raft goes through an artificial waterfall.

This gets people soaked.

Yet another part passes a series of water cannons.

People with more sanity than riders can pay a quarter to shoot the cannons at the rafters.

The cannons are designed for poor shots, so the rafters get more soaked.

The kicker is that there are two more cannons at the end, and they go all the time.

It’s nearly impossible to get through these without a drenching.

The overall ride can’t compare to a real river raft trip, but for a theme park ride it was fun.

As Bob’s guidebook recommended, I brought a trash bag to wear over my body and stay somewhat dry.





Ultimately, is Busch Gardens worth it?

The admissions price is very steep, nearly as much as Disney.

I had a discount ticket from AAA, and it still pushed my budget.

The concessions are expensive, souvenirs are pricy, and they ding people for everything possible (the lockers to store valuables near the thrill rides are 50 cents a pop, parking costs $16, and there is even a $5 jet dryer next to the raft exit).

I suspect it depends on what one is looking for.

The park has a wide variety of things to see and do in one place for the price.

For me, it was worth it as a onetime thrill, but I wouldn’t go back any time soon (which matches my opinions of the other major Florida parks, for what that’s worth).

Had the lines been much longer it probably wouldn’t be worth the price.

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Photos

Montu
Montu coaster at Bush Gardens, just before it passes through the inversion loop.

Kumba
Just one of the many inversions of Kumba coaster at Busch Gardens

Gwazi
Wooden duel coaster, and bumpy as heck

SeikRa
Seikra at the top of its dive. This is the scariest moment available in the entire park.

Scorpion
The inversion loop of Scorpion, the oldie but goodie of Busch Gardens coasters.

White Tiger
Rare white tiger at Busch Gardens tiger habitat

Tiger close up
Amazingly close view of a sleeping tiger at Busch Gardens

Chimpanzee
Chimpanzee, our closest genetic relative, at the Busch Gardens ape habitat.

Gorrilla
Gorillas at the Busch Gardens ape habitat

Elephants on Parade
The elephant exhibit at Busch Gardens

Congo River Rapids
Riders prepare for the waves on Congo River Rapids. Note the complete lack of wetness protection

Pink Flamingos
An entire field of Florida's unofficial state bird