The Pan Handle

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A chilly taxi transfer down to Glasgow Airport; the driver picks us up at 5.45am telling us that this will be his second trip to Glasgow airport that morning. The 357,000 miles on his 3 year old Zafira and his sunken face confirm his tale of too many frosty mornings.

Safely in the Airport we check in, board and depart with no troubles, drama or excitement.

On the plane i conclude that I've been given the worst seat out of the 430 available. Right at the very back, in the middle of a block of 3 seats and with a good 20ft between me and the nearest tv screen. Add to that the pungent lavvy queues snaking past me on both sides made it a long 9 hour flight.

Another queue when we land at Orlando Airport for immigration control leads to my first experience of the stigma unemployment brings. My immigration officer is a burly, middle aged, blonde and very butch lady;

"So Mr Urquhart, have you been to the US before?" - she asks

"Yes, 12 weeks ago mam" - I reply in my best Arthur Fonzarelli accent

"How long are you are you staying for?" - she's now barely looking at me, instead scrutinizing and fingering my suspiciously new and shiny passport

"5 weeks mam" - Fonzy replies

"5 weeks, Do you have a job back at home?" - she's now showing a glimmer of interest

"No mam, left it yesterday" - Fonzy has now taken on an indian accent

"How much money do you have son?" - The butch bint demands, swapping interest for contempt and suspicion

"About 200 quid mam" - Fonzy has now left completely, being replaced by Hen Broon.

Butch Bint does not like this answer. This is obviously not acceptable. She thumps ger chubby fingers across a few more buttons on her computer and goes into a deep silent thought.

"How much money do you have in the bank?" - she barks with a look that tells me "None of your business" is not an acceptable reply.

Now, this leaves me thinking does she mean real money, i.e savings. Or will she accept what I have now come to base my Net Worth on - available credit!

"Four Grand UK" - I guess

More key thumping ensues, followed by a reluctant stamp in my passport and a grudingly offered "Welcome to the USA"

Into baggage reclaim where Lynn and kids are waiting for me after they breezed throught customs with no further questions.

The luxury hire car we have treated ourselves to swallows the suit cases and a shop for the essentials at the local Winn Dixie store and we check in to our room. Top floor this time and before long we setlle into our positions; Lynn smoking on balcony, Becky watching cartoons, Me on my laptop and Zander trying to convince Becky to switch to the sports channel.

Evening spent in Downtown Disney looking for cheap available food, followed by a early night after travelling for the last 23 hours.

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Photos

Rent A Barge
Drives itself

Mr Nutkins
I keep waiting for it to jump on my back

Our Room
Top Floor - Good, Car Park View - Bad

Fridge Contents
1 weeks basic needs catered for.... Corona, Coke, Miller, Water, White Wine and Double Deckers

Master Bedroom
Jacuzzi In Background