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Saturday 2nd of June We both struggled to get out of bed this morning after last nights antics. But we managed to pull ourselves together and just about drag ourselves to the shuttle bus having missed breakfast. This was possibly one of the most tideous annoying bus journeys I've had, and we are regular greyhound travellers. The driver hit about ten curbs, stopped at 30 + hotels picking up one passenger at a time. It was hot and stuffy with lots of loud screaming excited children. Just what you need if your hungover tired from a heavy night on the town. After getting off our first roller coaster for the day, we arrived at sea world where we queued up for about half an hour in the blazing heat. This is the point we realised that we hadn't brought any suncream with us! Oh crap! We finally got into the park and almost immediately came across the dolphin enclosure. It is at exactly this point I realised my camera was; I believe this to be the technical term, Forked. The LCD screen had stopped showing but it still sounded like it could take photos but we will only find out when
we get back. The Dolphins were incredible, they were jumping and playing with each other. We had the opportunity to feed them but being two 21 year old lads, only girls and children really were feeding them. And it was 15 dollars so gave it a skip. Next was the sting-rays, we got to touch them. They were so slimy it was so weird. Michael was a being a cat and was scared to touch the nasty sting-rays. He said they gave him the willies. Next came 12:30 and right on que came 'Grumpy Michael'. Undoubtedly it was because the heat was incredible and he needed a drink, because I hadn't said a word that could possibly irritate him. On we went to the nearest ride which was called Manta, otherwise known as the anti baby maker. It was incredibly tight around the nether region, it tilted up and hung you horizontal to the floor crushing your prized possessions against a large hump in the seat. When I saw men coming off the ride crying I thought yeah, scary fast loop the loop roller coaster let's go! How little did I know! As we Waddled away like penguins feeling sorry
for ourselves. We followed the crowd towards the Main event Shamu the Killer Whale. Thankfully Michael managed to calm himself on the way having found a stall to buy a drink. The show was incredible, a breath taking experience that was up in the top things we had seen all trip and we had been at the top of the Empire State building, we had seen and been in the heart of Niagara Falls and become wizards in Harry Potter land. It was amazing the way they trained the whales to perform tricks on command and the whales responses to human interaction. Like the adventurous daring badasses we perceive ourselves to be. We of course sat in the splash zone. We thought we would get a better view and not to wet. Also my camera was already screwed, so if the inevitable did happen it wouldn't be any worse off. Guess what, the inevitable happened. Shamu front flipped onto its back right in front of us. We were soaked. There were two girls a few rows in front of us that were even worse. They were wet just looking at Shamu and when it swam passed flicking its tail you
could hear the waves crashing so clearly. A 40 year old fat woman was my highlight of the day. The whales were on the other side of the show, flipping and doing tricks. So she took the opportunity to get out her blackberry phone to take pictures. At which point a trainer that was running round used one of the various fountains to spray the crowd. The woman got a good mouthful of salt water and rocked back and forth like one of those clown toys you hit but just roll around and never fall over. She then realised her phone was drenched and shouted the traditional American swear word, Damn It! Much to the pleasure of Michael and I and many other like minded people that laugh at other people's Misfortunes. The show ended and we left feeling happy and uplifted. Michael for the first time all trip, was smiling like a cheshire cat. So off we went to find the food court! After that we quickly headed off towards the otter and sea-lion show. It had a story for the kids but plenty of laughs for the adults as well. They had the animals again do so many amazing tricks that people can't even train most dogs let alone a sea-lion or an otter. Then came winston the walrus a colossal creature that looked like jaba the hut, it was just a mass of fat and skin on the stage. Epic. We went from there into the aquarium to see the sharks, unfortunately my camera wasn't working so I wasn't shore if the settings were right. It was very irritating but it amused Michael. We hit the kraken, it was the largest and fastest roller coster in the park and certainly didn't disappoint. We waited a bit longer in the searing heat to sit on the front row which was definitely one of the best rides we had been on. We were getting tired and were very hot but before we go I insisted on seeing the arctic section and a polar bear. It was well set out there was even ice around. We saw beluga whales and a walrus under water. Amazing how something so large and slow on land could be so graceful under water. No bloody Polar bears, I was well pissed off the sodding thing was sleeping in its cave and we couldn't see it. How irritating! I would have loved to see the polar bear. Michael as usual shrugged his shoulders and wasn't bothered. How does he do it, how does he not get frustrated with stuff like this. I will never know. We were tired, hot and did not want to go on another crap bus journey home so we got a taxi and stopped off at the shop on the way for some vodka another 1.75L bottle 40% costing 12dollars it's insane! Enough time to get changed and shower then hit the pre lash hard. As usual we were off our tits before we went out properly battered like a pair of cods. We set off to Universal for another big night on the town. And ended up back in the cougar club, the groove. So much for having a look around we danced around a bit like the silly sausages we are. Then Michael unveiled his secret canister he had filled with vodka, we got some sprites which were still extortionate and sneakily added the vodka. We headed back to the dance floor where we came across six princesses all out on a hen night. Michael and I had a brief conversation that ended in him wanting Cinderella and I was fine with snow white. Of course no one was really interested in tinker bell. 1- she is a fairy not a princess. 2- her fairy dust wasn't working because I was definitely thinking happy thoughts but I wasn't flying and she was more fat and ugly than Susan Boyle on a bad day having just been to McDonalds. Naturally she would be my fall back if things didn't work out with snow white. After spending a long time with these lady's we found out they all had boyfriends or were married or engaged therefore pushing us to the belief that they were a lot older than they looked it was probably the costumes, but we should have remembered that we nicknamed it the cougar club for a reason. We left them and went in sharking around the club, we couldn't find anything. It had turned into a major sausage fest for the last hour at which point we tucked our tails between our legs and left back to the hotel. Michael informs me I was all over the shop on the way back attacking most bushes and apparently I drop kicked a tree. I was horizontal about five foot up and dropped like a wrestler unfortunately no springy ring just the floor. I was drunk and don't recall this. On arrival at the hotel we ordered a dominos and headed off for some well deserved sleep.
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