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Published: November 13th 2008
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Leaving London on a cold, wet and wintry morning was probably fitting of what I was getting away from. Sitting on the tarmac in my extra wide seat catered for larger Americans I left all the stress of London life behind me (and maybe a few essentials as well) and looked forward to what is going to be an excting 6 months. Its one of the most exciting parts of the trip: having absolutely no idea what you are going to do for the next half a year. But first stop is Miami.
To my surprise my hostel was smack bang in the middle of the party district on South Beach where there was action aplenty. It was decked out with new furniture and looked like it would be the perfect place to venture out late into the nights. It had to wait another day however as the jetlag and all the last minute rushing in London meant I hadn´t had much sleep at all.
My body clock was totally out of sync when I woke up in the morning. Actually so was the clock on the wall so I had no idea what time it was. So i
ducked out at 5:45am for a walk along South Beach where I saw police officers hassling a homeless man, lovers ending the night on a high and American mum´s in lycra body suits and walking poles powering up the beach. I spent the rest of the morning wandering the non-existant streets of downtown Miami. Every corner I turned only dissapointed more and soon I realised it was a complete shithole. A German guy I met at the hostel came into town with me and after eating the biggest burrito I have ever seen (can´t wait to go to Mexico) we headed down to Bayside where lots of boats set out for a tourof the "Millionaires Row". The boat circles the islands off Miami where pretty much all the movie stars and celebrities have ridiculously huge and extravagant houses. The most expensive property was $50 million and is owned by the guy who invented viagra (go figure). I wont even try and name the stars who have houses there because I could go on all day.
I had some drinks with an American girl afterwards and was definitely warmed up for the night ahead when I headed back to the
hostel. Luckily there was a young Irish lad in my room so I found my perfect drinking buddy for the evening. After a few rounds of 5 for $25 beers (yes it was happy hour: actually it always happy hour, even at 8am in the morning) we wandered into pure mayhem at Mango´s Tropical Cafe. Just picture hot latino women in their underwear dancing on the bar with Latino beats being pumped out in the background by a band. Wow they could shake their booty. The pina colada´s were going down way to easily and the last thing I remember before stumbling back to my hostel was meeting a girl who thought it was normal to run in 50 mile races. I don´t think so.
Splitting headache. Bang. Bang. Bang. Construction work downstairs and a jackhammer in my head. Small movements were made all morning as I eventually shuffled out of bed so I could walk around the art deco district that was around me. Most of the buildings were built in the 1930´s to a style that was known as art deco. As time wore on most of the buildings were going into disrepair and were going to
be knocked down until in 1979 when the district was given preservation rights to never be destroyed. It gives South Beach great character and with all the classic American cars around its like looking into the past. Gianni Versace has a luxurious house right on Ocean Drive that they turned into a hotel. Rooms can cost up to $10,000 a night. That was definitely one thing I noticed since coming to Miami...money talks.
Lincoln Road is the most frequented open aired mall in South Beach and is a great spot to people watch. Glamorous women with modelling aspirations; cuban cigars hanging from the lips of jewellery clad businessman; tanned muscle men in singlets bursting at the seams with size 2 latino modles on each arm; and the American executives cruising the streets in there mustangs after a tough day at the golf course. Compared to the outskirts where nearly every available billboard was advertising a mortgage foreclosure specialist it´s as if the financial crisis was not evident at all around South Beach. Spend, spend, spend, consume, consume: the only way to kickstart a failing economy.
The neon lights started to flicker on around sunset and this is when
it really comes to life. The district looks great at night with all the neon and the hum of people about to have a big night clubbing. The Lamborgini´s and ferraris become more common and sooner or later women in their little black dress start appearing everywhere. The chances of me standing on the velvet carpet and past the rope into some of these exclusive clubs were pretty remote so I decided to have a few casual beers instead. It was a testosterone fuelled environment and I was a bit more than intimidated so I folded my hand and looked on from the sidelines.
It was disappointing to be leaving Miami without venturing down to the Keys or to Fort Lauderdale but thoughts of coming back were already creeping into my head. The highlight of my morning was sitting in an absolutely gorgeous mustang and getting a few shots taken. I took a few pictures for a Swiss couple and they kindly let me sit in there pride and joy. It was the perfect way to leave Miami: pretending to be someone your not (its good to dream)..
So it is farewell but not goodbye to Miami. Where
happy hour is never ending; where seeing middle aged women with fake breasts drinking an oversized mojito whislt they juggle a miniature puppy in there lap doesn´t look out of place at all; where a casual sunday brunch is followed by a beach volleyball game in your G-string bikini; and where people like me can imagine what it would be like to be that rich. Oh the American Dream!!
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Ken
non-member comment
Wish I was there ...
You lucky bastard ...