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Published: April 7th 2016
Sorrowful, devastated Lulu
Mourning hat on, hiding tearful eyes, nose snot running out.
Where to even begin. I don't quite know. I have spent days trying to settle our sweetheart Lulu down. She has been beside herself. Her wailing and bawling have echoed throughout the park. Everyone wants to know what's wrong. I can hardly get the words out.
But this is the sad story: Lulu received a "Dear John" letter from one of her most faithful admirers.....or so she thought. What a fickle friend! She loved him....a lot. He was right up there on the top of her boyfriend list......after Jeff, of course. What happened? What went wrong? Something she said?...something she did? She's so limited with both actions. Is she not pretty enough? WHAT? WHAT happened? She is struggling. It all came right out of the blue....and now she is singing the blues. None of it is good.....she can't even carry a tune. But with her hurt and pain, she has to do something to ease this anguish and distress.
Because she is such a people person and needs to share everything with all her devoted fans, she wants me to publish this heartbreaking letter and the photo of her unworthy competition. It will be a good catharsis for her
The Trampy Lushbag
Not even her mother could love this face!
(we hope). Miss Pukebag isn't even in the same category as Lulu. She looks like trash. She puts herself out on display for every passerby to get a good look of her disgusting appearance. She is no Lulu! You can decide for yourself. What anyone can possibly see in her is a joke. She's rubbish. Just a tramp. Swamp Molly rides again! (She was a real person here at TP several years back - did not present herself well and was one nasty, mean gal). We are in shock how Lulu's former love could even look at this pig head. Has he gone blind? He must have lost his mind! Whatever got into him to even give this lush bucket a second glance....we are stumped. Why? Why?.....Lulu sobs & screeches out like Nancy Kerrigan. Relax Big Girl...we are all still here for you. We have your back (if she had one).
Here is the tragic, sickening letter that has deeply wounded our precious Lulu:
"She was gazing at me from her perch at the salon entrance. I felt the magnetism as I strolled by on my trek to purchase chicken wings from the Walmart deli. It was a
Terrific in her tiara
strange and somewhat unfamiliar feeling.....one that I hadn't experienced for many, many years. Kindergarten maybe? No, probably prison. I felt the uncontrollable lure and had to do an about face and return to the source of this wonderful outpouring of affection that was being cast upon me. ( Knocked down two bratty kids that were in the damned way, but I didn't give a crap). Our eyes met....I could plainly see the want and desire in her expression. But then, as I took her picture, reality set into my 62 year old mind, and I knew that the fantasy of grabbing her and running out of the store would never come to pass. Too many fat asses in moo-moos at the exit door to get away with it. Plus, everybody knows that Walmart hires only former Olympic track stars for security and they would catch up with me.So, off I went to the deli with my original intent, and my wings and I spent the rest of the day pondering what could have happened had I had a little more bravery. I'll never forget her."
So, that's the sad tale our dear Lulu has been faced with. In the
One in a million
words of Adele "We could have had it all". "Good-bye, my fickle friend," chokes Lulu. But, remember, we are talking about Lulu. She never gives up...she's a fighter. She's not ready to let this love of her life go. Down with this scheming slutbag. This is Lulu's battle. Onward she marches (best she can with no legs). Strong and determined.
First up: a makeover. She's knows how happy and excited Amy was when Sheldon (Big Bang Theory) presented her with a tiara. "A TIARA! A TIARA! Put it on, put it on. I'm so beautiful" yelled Amy. Lulu got out hers ......beautiful. She's so beautiful. Will this bring her unfaithful friend back? Maybe.
If not enough, Plan B is ready. Lulu knows she's a Star. She looks like one, feels like one, acts like one and is one! We all know that. Now so does everyone else. Her chapeau confirms it! Gorgeous. Our star is born. Now what do you think.......vouyer!
Still want more? Here she is: Miss Luscious Glamour Girl! Combine the tiara and Star cap and this is what you get: breath-taking beauty. Lulu reins again. No one compares ....no one can compete. She's in
Our ultimate beauty
One complete & perfect package
a class of her own.
So decide Mr. Gigolo...who do you want now? Yea, who? The world wants to know and so do we. Write back to your jilted girlfriend.....beg for her forgiveness, get help for your roving eye, dump that scumbag, put Lulu on her pedestal that she has earned, realize what your dastardly deed has done and stand in that corner you deserve! Shame, shame on you.
Just remember: Lulu had a heart of gold. She is one forgiving treasure. She is strong but weak in love. She awaits your next move "Chessy". She's the queen and will sacrifice herself if necessary. Pray for Lulu. Checkmate!
Because there are new friends always being added to our blog, I need to restate the history of Lulu. Most of you know about her but those who don't: read on. Now she will make complete sense to you.
The Lulu Story --- For those of you who are new passengers I want you to meet Lulu. The rest of you have already made her your best friend, I know. In 2012, our dear, sweet, loyal, beloved dog, Chip, passed away. He was the best chocolate lab in the world. We still miss him terribly to this day. He was the perfect photo prop...never complained and always willing to pose for my pictures. One in a million, he was. We had our RV trip planned to travel across the USA to see relatives in California and British Columbia. Before we left, we had a mishap with our RV...Cory mistakingly backed it into the church next door to us. Church was okay but the back end of RV was quite damaged. Thus, we took a detour to the Tiffin RV factory in Red Bay, Alabama where they ordered and put a new back end on our RV. This took a month so our cross country trip took us only as far as Texas. We still had a fantastic time and saw things we never thought we would see. Excuse me, I've digressed again. Cory knew I would need something to occupy my time and mind because of the loss of Chip so he bought me an Ipad. He is so good and thoughtful towards me. I fought it at first but now the Ipad has become an appendage on my body. I love taking photos but always feel they need an eye catcher in them and Chip wasn't around anymore to be that perfect source. R.I.P., Chip. Thus, enter Lulu. She was one of our flea market finds and has been setting on a shelf with 3 other sisters on our back patio storeroom. She had gorgeous flowing, long hair but it was way too much for me to deal with all the time. Not being a beautician, I gave her the best haircut I could. It's not good but she's not a complainer....what a sweetheart. So, when you see Lulu....you know where, why and how come she is always with us. She's a doll, for sure. We just love her. Because she has no legs or arms, she can squeeze into some very neat, tight spaces to enhance by photo taking. Hip-Hip Hooray for Lulu. Lulu says " hi" to all of YOU!
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