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May 19th 2010
Published: July 29th 2010
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Cool rain falls softly from the grey Chico sky. I had almost forgotten what it felt like to shiver. The last two months of South East Asia were the hottest of the year. The sun blistered wrapped in a sarong of moisture which saturated the air. Despite having moments where I thought I might pass out almost daily, these were some of the best months of my life. I tried in vain to keep the journal current as I travelled but managed precious few entries along the way. These I will update shortly but the rest will have to be recorded now from what I recall. For now, I feel like I’m recovering. Strange tides of unidentifiable emotions seem to be washing over me. Am I lonely, confused, misdirected or angry? And if any of these are so, for what, or at who, or why am I these things? I lent my brother my car while I was gone and he sold his. Now they are in the process of getting another but going without a car is making me insane and I am the slightest bit resentful. Yet I can’t think of anywhere where I need to go. Still it is making me feel even more helpless than I already am. The internet doesn’t work in my Aunt and Uncle’s guesthouse and nor does my cell phone. What’s more, I lost all the phone numbers in my phone. I am about to sneak into their back yard to pick up signal on my computer as I can’t handle being so disconnected. My jet lag seems consistent but I have a sneaking suspicion that staying up till 1 or 2 each morning doesn’t help the situation.

All that said, I have the cuttest Niece ever. She doesn't have much muscle control yet and she's already wrapped me around that little finger of hers without even knowing it. Nice to have a baby in the family.

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