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Published: July 13th 2006
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Mexican buses really are arguably among the worst in the world. It´s not just that you wait for ages and then 2 come at once (this is, I believe, a world-wide phenomonum) but they are always incredibly hot with half the windows un-openable and lacking in suspension; they leak when it rains and no one ever sits in the window seats first so that you are required to climb over someone just to sit down. This is usually followed by climbing back over someone to stand up again because Mexico has so many elderly people, pregnant women and babies that there is never enough priority seating.
Something about being a Mexican bus driver (who are all men by the way) also requires you to brake and accelerate with such force that everyone on board, even if they manage to stay seated or upright, loses the contents of their bags, glasses or small children every time you move. It´s almost as if the drivers are constantly surprised by the idea of having to halt to let passengers embarque. Actually this could well be true since bus stops in Mexico can usually only be identified by a long queue of people or
by observing the actual stopping of a bus (unhelpfully usually just outside running distance). Aparently the idea of putting up signs to indicate the location at which you should stand and wait has not yet reached this far south or west. You can, however, frequenctly find signs demonstrating that the said location is NOT a bus stop. Always helpful. It doesn't seem to matter anyway as most buses will stop almost anywhere and as frequently as necessary, as long as you are not either a student (who pay half fare and are not worth the space they take up) or a foreigner. In these cases the bus probably wont stop anywhere.
The next massively irritating thing is about Mexican buses is the number of people who get one and ask you for money. If I was rich enough to hand it out to them all I would not be on the bus in the first place. Some have noisy instruments, some have 2-for-1 over-handled chocolate bars and others are giving away prayer books for a minimum "donation" of 10 pesos. The Mexicans must have whole collections of these little, identical books in their houses. Most people seem to cough-up, presumably so they don't have to confess that they didn´t want one.
The long-distance second-class buses seem to suffer a similar problem. They pull up at every layby or road-side shack passed and at each the bus fills up with a host of fruit, taco, crisp and con-on-the-cob sellers all trying to flog off their slightly unhygenic concoction. I guess no one has thought that if the bus didn't stop so often it would get there quicker and noone on coard would actually need a snack. Or maybe they have and it is a government policy that all 2nd class services stop every 20 minutes in order to reduce unemployment. It´s irritating therefore that on the 1st class, long-haul (I mean up to 48 hours!) buses,, they don't consider it necessary to stop for a leg-stretch and a snack.
Bus routes here are also pretty crazy. I guess the average cross-town bus journey must be about 40 minutes (due to all the aforementioned stopping) and yet for some reason they don't have more bus routes. I'm sure that even with fewer buses per route people arrive faster at their destinatation if the buses didn't take so many long-cuts just so each street corner can claim to be served by a bus route. Maybe they should also consider giving different bus routes different numbers. Just last week after 45 minutes on the 258A Anne and I foudn ourselves back where we had started without ever getting near our intended destination. "Oh - you'll be wanting the OTHER 258A". Obviously!! There are also 4 629s each doing a similar but vitally, unidentical route across town. Why?
Buses are often packed and, this not being the UK, you are not autromatically entitled to any personal space. As you hold onto anything fixed (often the person next to you) and try not to end in someone's lap, whilst smelling armpits, the bus driver shouts at you to move down the bus - clearly impossible due to the 40 odd other people standing in the way. Then you can't see out of the window for all the bodies and only after your stop has whizzed by and it's taken you another 5 minutes push pas the peopel do you reach the back, exit door and push the only bell (you may not get off at the front even if it's closer). This "bell" is actually a 100dB buzzer that makes you wonder why the driver isn't deaf.
Then there's the timetable. What kind of city has buses that stop at 9.30pm? Especially when any self-respecting Mexican wouldn't be seen dead in a bar until at least 10. And dispite the fact that many people start work at 7 and take over an hour to get to work the buses do not start again until 6. In the intermediate times the only option is a taxi. I know this is about buses really, but I must just ask... Why, when you are waiting for a bus or taking a nice stroll, so litterally tens of taxis pull up and shout "lady, miss, taxi?, I give good price" and when you actually want a cab the only people who stop are guys looking for hookers?
Finally, (yes there is an end!) what is with bus drivers'taste in music and decor? Buses are always equipped with random neon flashing flights or LEDs, often positioned around a hologram or transfer of Jesus or Mary. There are fluffy animals and transformer stickers and rude slogans in English which probably aren't even understood, and worst of all, fake fur surrounds every mirror or rule-plaque. The radio is constantly tuned to "Irritating Mexican Music FM: irritativing drivelly chat and maracas 24/7", and is usually at just the right volume that all you can hear is the tuba anbd tambourine, and so it is that you um-pah, um-pah all the way to your destination. Unless you are on the wong 629 of course, then it is probably quicker to get off and walk.
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Char
Charlotte Morley
I should probably mention though that they also pretty cheap. 4 pesos for as far and as long as you can stand. That´s a little less than 20p. Beats £4.60 for a trip on the London underground!