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Published: August 4th 2006
All glammed up & ready to party!
Me, Kady, Kathy and Linz @ the bridal table.Trust me; you don’t ever want to mistake a Canadian for an American. They don’t just decorate their backpacks with the red and white maple leaf for fun! For reference (and in the absence of a backpack), Canadians are the ones that say ‘eh’ a lot. Since I studied in Toronto a few years back, I’ve always had a special fondness for Canadians. Friendly, modest, overly polite, politically correct and generally pretty conservative, they don’t always get sarcasm, but they always laugh at your jokes (quite possibly they’re laughing at my Aussie accent)! On the road they’re outdoorsy, respectful and loads of fun. Then there’s the whole French thing - whilst French is an official language - most francophones live in Quebec, so not everyone speaks it. Canadians are far more peaceful than their US neighbours; they wouldn’t be caught dead in Iraq. Literally. They revel in their weather extremities - spouting weather jargon like ‘wind chill factors’, and ‘humidity index’ with the confidence of a weatherman. Their favourite things are ice hockey and beer, in no particular order. You’ve just got to love them!
I was heading back to Canada to reunite with the old gang from Ryerson uni
The gang from Ryerson
Kady, Kathy, Lisa, Linz, Jen and I were mates who all lived in the same student building when I studied at Ryerson Polytechnic, Toronto back in '99. because one of my old roomies Linz was getting married! This was to be my first bridesmaids gig and despite lacking that fairytale-wedding-gusher gene that most girls seem to have, I was truly excited! I was also looking forward to the ‘All Canadian/Australian pre-wedding, what happens on the trip, stays on the trip’ road trip to Quebec City (unfortunately minus the bride).
Re-acquainting myself with Toronto, its sites, landmarks and familiar shops was fantastic. The weather on arrival was HOT - an unrelenting, humid heat, that had all the major news reporters reporting daily records - ‘hottest July day on record’ etc. The city has cleaned up its act quite a lot since my uni days - courtesy of some clever landscaping, closure of some of its seedier establishments and on-going renovations to the Eaton Centre (its biggest shopping centre) and my old uni - Ryerson Polytechnic. I revisited my old student accommodation - Neill Wycik - home to the bed bug epidemic of 1999 which still looks the same and held many memories within its shabby hallways. I looked out for some of the familiar characters - like the old blokes playing chess on the massive chess board
Linz' stagette
Outside El Convento Rico's drag show, an artistic fag-hag takes a pic of the girls and manages to blow smoke across the lense ... by Younge and Gould (gone - as was the chess set) and the Jesus freak out the front of the Eaton Centre (still there). I’d forgotten about ‘Tim Hortons’ Canada’s answer to ‘Starbucks’ - the best thing about ‘Timmies’, as it’s affectionately known, is that it has drive-through. It’s also known as Canada’s washroom. Whilst on the topic of washrooms - honestly - why can’t Canadian’s just call it a toilet? Every time I let the word slip, I was looked at with shocked surprise, like I’d just let rip with the ‘c’ word! In the end, I compromised and called it the loo!
I stayed with Kathy, another roomie from my Ryerson days in an inner city neighbourhood called the Danforth. Toronto’s own Greek Town and thriving restaurant, bar and café strip - brought to the screen in ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding’. Kathy’s place is a trendy little one-bedroom basement apartment - pretty common accommodation in these parts for bright, young things like Kathy.
My second night in town was Linz’ Stagette party - which, not surprisingly, turned out to be a crazy night out on Toronto Town. The event had all the usual ingredients and
Thelma and the girls ...
Jen, Thelma (our wheels), Kathy and Jess set off on the 'all Canadian/Australian, what happens on the trip, stays on the trip, pre-wedding roadtrip'to Quebec City. No Brad Pitt, no Louise, but we had a brilliant time! class you’d expect from a Hen’s back home - coloured leis, cocktails, phallic cakes, unsuspecting men partaking in a list of ridiculous tasks, a drag show... It was also the first time in three years I’d be together with the old gang - Kathy, Linz, Kady and Lisa. Sipping ‘Lindsay Loves’ - Kathy’s latest cocktail invention before heading out, we chatted and laughed like old times. Kady turned to me and said ‘Ellen, you never went anywhere’, which is exactly how I felt. Never mind there have been a few significant developments since our uni days - a wedding or two and a couple of kids - leaving Kathy and I the only two without a rock on our left hand. These girls will always be incredibly special to me. After a delicious dinner, followed by a few classy cocktails at the Devils Martini - the night hit rock-bottom in the sleazy Latino lounge - El Convento Rico. A dismal performance by some tragic drag queens - including ‘Claudia Montenegro’ - (who I’m sure had never set foot in the war torn country), followed by two backside grabbing incidents within quick succession, rendered me standing up against a wall for
The Big Apple (masquerading as the BIG tomato)
Me, Jess and Kathy check out the big apple. Another piece of big fruit off the list (Big banana - check, big pineapple check ...!) protection - while the other girls weren’t faring much better. It was time to get out of the place!
Jess my workmate from Melbourne, had arrived from the US to join Kathy, Jen and I for the roadtrip in our trusty wheels we named ‘Thelma’ (as in ‘Thelma and Louise’). Thelma’s only air-conditioning was windows down and music was restricted to the whims of the temperamental radio, but we got by loudly singing rocking tunes by the Rolling Stones, Billy Joel and other classics! Day one - we made several unforgettable stops - like the Big Apple (anyone who’s visited the big banana and pineapple in Oz will understand the significance of ‘big’ landmarks) and Picton Beach - which was really a lake, with a sandy shore - but lovely all the same. That night we bedded down in Kathy’s hometown - the picturesque ‘Gananoque’ - gateway to the thousand islands. The story goes that 1000 Island dressing was created in this region, and made famous by the owner of the Waldolf Astoria in New York who introduced this dressing to the world when he asked his world famous maitre d' Oscar Tschirky to put it on the menu.
Rainy day in Quebec City
Unfortunately our hostel paled in comparison to the chateau pictured in the background! Aside from its salad dressing and being so difficult to spell and pronounce, the Gananoque area is also famous for Avril Lavigne and its charity casino. While in Gan, we were treated to the generous hospitality of Kathy’s parents - Ray and Pat - who put us up in their spare room.
Day two we headed for Quebec City or New France, as it was originally called. It was a long day of driving and we were all exceptionally tired after getting little sleep the night before - necessitating a few ‘Timmies’ caffeine breaks. Arriving in Quebec was like arriving in an Eastern Europe City, right down to its walled old town. Our hostel was over-organised, clinical, and dull and had a list of ridiculous rules we were expected to abide by, delivered by the self important French bloke at reception. On this trip, I’ve found YHA properties never fail to disappoint with their ‘anti fun’ policies. However, this didn’t stop us from breaking them with a cheap red bought to wash down our baguettes for lunch one day.
The city of Quebec was stunning and so European you could be forgiven for forgetting you were in Canada.
Quebec City ghost tour
Andy, the part time actor, full time tosser takes us on an unimpressive and not-so-scary ghost tour of Quebec City. The old town is UNESCO world heritage listed and it’s the only walled city in North America. The quaint shop fronts were almost Gaelic in appearance reminding me of Galway and the cobbled, hilly streets and narrow shopping strips were charming enough to be labelled ‘new Prague’. Chateau Frontenac is perhaps the most impressive city landmark - a luxurious hotel of a grand scale - overlooking the River below. Quebec City was great for wandering and shopping, and we did both very well. The food offerings were generally fabulous, thought the nightlife in the Old Time was somewhat lacking. A highlight of Quebec City, was our Ghost Tour with Andy, the full-time tosser, part time actor - who regaled us with un-scary ghost stories punctuated with ineffectual dramatic pauses and gaping holes in his commentary. One story which did interest me was the sinking of the ‘Empress of Ireland’ in the St Laurent River in 1914. This disaster is considered to be just as tragic as and more fatal than the sinking of the Titanic. Of the 1,477 on board, 1,012 lost their lives when two ships collided in the fog, eight more than had died when the Titanic sank.
9 Aussies and 2 Canadians in Montreal
Kathy & Jen (the two Canadians), Bria, Bron, Jeff, Pete, Damian, Jeff, Jess, me & Susie. Bron and Pete were kind enough to take us into their amazing home for a night! The ghost tour ended in a darkened church where we listened and watched for the resident ghost, who never surfaced. Poor Andy’s storytelling ability was laughable.
After a few days in Quebec City, it was time to head to Montreal just in time to see Australia compete in the Montreal International fireworks competition. Bron, an Aussie expat friend of a friend, had generously offered to take us in for the night and what a night it was! Bron and her partner Pete’s apartment resembled an art gallery, complete with well stocked wine cellar (unfortunately locked), statues, stained glass and funky design. We headed into town for dinner at a French restaurant with a fantastic group of Aussie expats intent on having a good time. It was the first time in ages I’d been surrounded by such a large group of Aussies and we had an absolute ball - turning the tables on poor Kathy and Jen, the sole Canadians. Anyone who knows me well will know just how much I love fireworks and these were no exception. I stared at the sky, feeling strangely patriotic and quoted the classic line from the Aussie comedy ‘Kath & Kim’ (www.kathandkim.com)- ‘it’s
Wedding Countdown!
John and Linz have been counting down the days til the wedding for months. Their excitment was infectious! different, it’s unusual’ . Quick as a flash, the complete stranger standing next to me retorted ‘you pack of hornbags’! All the Aussies cracked up laughing, the Canadians didn’t know whether to be offended or simply run the other way. For me the night was capped off with my new cocktail of choice - a Dirty Martini - and a few old Kath&Kim episodes back at Bron’s place. I didn’t think things could get any better, until I was promised vegemite for breakfast!
Leaving Jess behind, Kathy and I headed for Waterloo where it was time for the pre-wedding preparations to get underway. These began with a pedicure (where some poor woman took a contraption resembling a cheese grater to my travel weary feet) and a pre-wedding BBQ with the wedding party. Both were a raging success. The pedicure looked sensational, the wedding party were friendly and the bride and groom were excitable - as demonstrated by the countdown on the blackboard in their kitchen. Before long, the girls whisked Linz off to a hotel for the night - where we spent the evening chatting, painting nails, watching dvds, having pillow fights and other girly pursuits!
The wedding
Bride and Groom
Linz and John were the happiest bride and groom I've ever seen! day had arrived, and so far everything was going to plan. The bride was holding up, in fact her enthusiasm was infectious, as we headed off at 9am for hair and make-up. 75 hairpins and a couple of cans of hairspray later, my severe up-do was in place and make-up was applied. Outside the air-conditioned comforts of the day spa - the Canadian heatwave continued. Once dressed in her dress, Linz was the model bride. Elegent, stylish and so incredibly happy - I felt like a proud parent watching her throughout the day. Pre-wedding photos were taken by a shermenator look-a-like and suddenly it was time to walk down the aisle.
Both ceremony and reception were held at the picturesque Grey Silo golf course. They say that time flies when you’re having fun and the wedding was no exception. We had craftily hidden tissues in our bouquets of fake flowers in case of any tears from the bride (or groom), but they weren’t required as Linz and John excitedly giggled their way through the ceremony. Fortunately my second time in high heels in five months, didn’t end in any embarrassing injuries in my walk down the aisle! Post ceremony
Bridal party enjoy drinks in the parking lot!
Chris, Mike, Shannon, Kathy, Jen, me & Kady. After the ceremony, in a short break from photos, the boys serve up some chilled beer! - we went for more photos - with a few cheesy poses including a particularly frightening ‘running across a bridge’ shot and then had a refreshing beer in the ‘parking lot’ with the bridal party.
The wedding reception was absolutely brilliant! Our speech went off without a hitch - I still maintain they were only laughing at my accent, not the content - but I’ll take any laugh I can get. I was very pleased we’d gone first, after the heartfelt speeches that followed by groomsmen and father of the bride. We danced, sung and partied the night away with a fantastic group of guests and family. When Linz danced with her father, Kathy was forced to dive into her bouquet to give me a tissue when I shed a few tears - I hadn’t realised til then how much I missed my own dad. The groomsmen kept everyone entertained with their crazy antics and always made sure that we bridesmaids were up dancing. I was slightly embarrassed, but secretly chuffed, to discover that so many guests (mostly Linz’ relatives) seemed to be fans of my blog! This has certainly added to the pressure (and length) of this entry!
Lighthouse, Kincardine
I went to stay in Kincardine with Alison Morris and her family. Alison is another friend from university who I caught up with in Oz last year! I concede that anyone who has read this far, deserves a prize!!
Next stop on the great Canadian roadtrip was Kincardine, to visit Alison another uni friend, who’d visited me in Oz last year. Kincardine, the self confessed sunset capital of Ontario was stunning. I was surprised to learn Kincardine’s main industry is not tourism, but its nuclear power plant. Highlights of the town were its beautiful lake beaches, lighthouse where a piper plays while the sun sets, the Hogs Breath Cafe and Alison’s parent’s fabulous home. Alison’s parents, Peter and Grace, served up some fantastic meals - including an unforgettable steak with blue cheese. Kincardine was in Mennonite country. The dictionary describes a Mennonite (Amish person) as a member of an Anabaptist church characterized particularly by simplicity of life, pacifism, and non-resistance. Basically they don’t believe in modern inventions - like zippers, electricity, cars - and can be seen around the region wearing old fashioned clothes and driving their horse and buggies to the shopping centre! Everytime I hang out with Alison something crazy or ridiculous happens and this was no exception - one night after checking out the local nightlife there was a late night skinny dipping
Left holding the babies!
I'm holding Alora, Kady is holding Hannah. It's not often you hear me gush about babies, but these little twin terrors are gorgeous! episode at Kincardine beach… I suspect the Menonites would not approve!
Back in Toronto, it was time to spend some time getting to know Kady and Chad’s babies - twins Hannah and Alora. These one year old terrors were energetic little sparks - who ran their poor mother ragged. Kady and Chad have had to make several lifestyle adjustments to accommodate life with not just one, but two babies. Every task is complicated by the fact that there’s two of them - double the nappy-changing too which I didn’t volunteer to help with! Saying all this, motherhood suits Kady, who as a teacher, is also well versed on educational toys and activities to keep them occupied.
The Niagara by the Lake wine district was our final destination in trusty old Thelma. We spent a day quaffing a selection of fine wines from both Jackson Triggs and Flat Rock Cellars. We headed back to Toronto, happy (and slightly tipsy) for my last night in Canada. After dinner at the mouth-watering Seven Numbers on the Danforth Kathy, Jen and I hit the local Bars. My standard order of ‘Dirty Martini - easy on the dirty’ was of great amusement to
Vino Heaven!
Jackson-Triggs Winery, Niagra-on-the-Lake the waitress and barman and certainly aided skills at the pool table. This was also the scene of the most original (but completely unsuccessful) pickup line I’d heard all trip - ‘The thing I love most about Aussie girls is that they all have perfectly sculpted eyebrows’.
Sadly my time in Canada had drawn to a close. Canada had certainly delivered a hair-raising, crazy-fun roadtrip, as well as THE wedding of 2006 - in fact the best wedding I’ve ever been to. Canada is awesome!
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Ghost Tours of Quebec
Hi, I just found your Blog before our next visit to Quebec City. You say that Ghots Tour of Quebec there was highlight of your visit there. We also went on this tour and it was fun. I heard from a friend that they also do Witch Trials in some old Church and that it is really really good. We will be going this summer so will do Witch Trial for a change. I thought this would help someone else who is looking for entertainment in Quebec City.