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The List
The list of things DL and I need to accomplish before MayThe last entry occurred roughly two weeks ago and everyday since my foray into white Guido culture, I’ve been constantly rubbing my left hand to try and rid the orange tint and the smell of Axe permeating the knuckles.
In my quest to rid my knuckles of this atrocious smell/color, I went into a sparring session with a black guy…the smell and the color vanished, but now my knuckles have moved from embodying testosterone fueled Caucasian stupidity to representing a lifetime of oppression.
Sigh.
I’m not trying to remove these unwanted characteristics pervading my hand for personal benefit…I normally don’t give a fuck about the appearance/smell of my knuckles…but I do care when I’m going on little dates with DL everyday.
And with each successive date with DL, I’m dropping into that infatuation stage that I have with every one of those girls that I start liking. Problem is, this “fall” into love is deeper than a 1972 movie written by Gerard Damiano (sorry for the outdated reference, but I just saw this movie last week). I mean…I genuinely like her unlike any other girl.
This is not to say I didn’t like the girls I
DL and a Korean Friend
Random Dinner Party At My House went after in the past (I obviously did), but my attraction to them was more physically based, while this seems purer because I’m not doing it for the looks, but more the character. I could get rejected in the worst way possible, but I would still hang out with her a day later because she’s everything I look for…witty, funny, parties hard, does shit hardcore and yet is intelligent and remains grounded.
The examples of her amazingness are boundless—for instance, we spent last night watching a few episodes of Friday Night Lights. Nevermind the fact that I was sitting inches away from a girl I was infatuated with
on her bed, but Friday Night Lights is a great football show I wouldn’t mind watching with anyone…I would even watch it with a horny homosexual repeat-time rapist who hasn’t released bodily fluids in a month.
We spent another night listing things we wanted to do before we had to graduate and mature into real adults…everything on our lists were so identical we merged them and made a pact to do them all before May: Absinthe, Salvia, Shrooms, getting completely wasted…
She’s reintroduced me to chron, she’s one of the few people who parties hardcore like yours truly and she’s always down to hang.
In fact, she’s so much fun that she’s now catapulted to #3 on my list of friends after only a week of acquaintance. And considering the amount of time I spend with her, she would be easily #1 if Teddy and D-German weren’t set in stone at the top of my list.
And now I have to really decide what to do with her. If you remember, I went to go boxing in the previous entry to try and clear my mind and resolve the binary problem bouncing around my mind. Do I keep the status quo and remain best friends, or do I potentially ruin everything to tell her my feelings?
Considering my character, there actually wasn’t much to decide.
Despite slanty eyes, acquaintance with world geography, an unadulterated indifference for Jesus and a lack of a pickup truck in my garage, I’m American. I can’t stand staying still and being swept up in the status quo. I need to go out and conquer the world and fuck everyone, everything and everybody that stands in my way. Beating the shit out of a midget Guido hybrid and knocking out some white Toronto douchebag in some lame-ass Fight Club re-enactment just affirmed it. More action, less talk.
And if I needed any more evidence to go after her, my writing easily did it. Whenever we’re on the topic of our failed love lives, Teddy always mentions, “Apollo has a nasty habit of killing his girlfriends…but the gift he receives in return is poetry”, to neatly tie everything together (and to easily ignore the glaring deficiencies we have). Considering I haven’t “killed” any girlfriends lately, I haven’t been writing much lately. I had severe writer’s block for about a month and half.
I would sit in front of my laptop, the morning after a ridiculous adventure, but I couldn’t put thought to screen. I didn’t have the drive, the motivation that makes my pathetic little life flow into a cocky, sarcastic blog entry.
And after I decided to go after DL?
Bang. Suddenly my life was swept up into a storm of emotions and the dam exploded into short stories, blog entries, song lyrics, poetry. And I could’ve easily made the connection to Hurricane Katrina in the sentence prior, but my writing doesn’t drown black people.
But the resolving of one problem just led to another. Was I just going after DL for the writing? I met her almost everyday, sometimes even twice a day, under the pretense of “chasing” her. She was like a drug…something that I kept going back to and which exploded my creativity.
But it turned out it wasn’t a problem…it just gave me even more reason to go after her. On top of all her wondrous traits, she actually enhanced my artistic side without hurting me, something no one is able to claim. It was crystal clear.
I need to make her my girlfriend.
Friday was the one day of the week we had nothing planned. For the past 6 days, we had been meeting once, sometimes twice, a day. In an affirmation of how good our friendship was, we weren’t getting bored of each other. In fact, meeting each other just led to more plans (or excuses) to meet…
But Friday, there was nothing planned, and after meeting her roughly 10 times in 6 days, I wasn’t going to push for anything. And I desperately needed to catch up on work after handing the week to DL.
I started slogging through an essay concerning Medieval Poetry while concurrently Youtube-ing Bow Wow and Soulja Boy’s ostentatious Lambroghini race feud occurring in the midst of a recession.
So when the phone rang, I quickly picked up to save myself from drudgery of writing an essay and from the stupidity of young black kids with too much money.
It was DL.
“Hey, I found a place that sells salvia, wanna go right now?”
I had the essay I needed to finish, an assignment and a project.
This girl was such a bad influence.
“Yea, sure. Let’s go!”
When DL get’s excited about something, she becomes a frazzled, kinetic ball of hyper energy. And one of her remarkable traits is, she becomes ridiculously indecisive.
Even the most trivial decisions become excited (self) arguments where she weighs both sides of the equation. And no, this I’m not using the technique of exaggeration to heighten this trait, she is really fucking indecisive. For instance:
“Cool, so when do you wanna meet for salvia?
“Um, in ten minutes?”
“Ok sure.”
“No wait…but I have to shower…”
“Um—”
“So should I shower before or after? Wait, I also have to eat.”
“Um—”
“So do I eat before I shower? Or after? But then if shower before, the store might closed and then I won’t be able to eat…”
“Um—”
“Oh no, I also have to pick up a package…the post office is on the way, but then the salvia store might close…
I’ve had to deal with this a few times. It’s cute at first, in the same way a little kitty is cute when you give it a ball of yarn and they attack it…then you’re afraid they might kill themselves unraveling the ball and choking themselves in it.
“Um, NO, NO, don’t interrupt me. Shut the fuck up and listen. I’ll decide everything for you. Take a shower, meet me in ten minutes, we’ll buy salvia, eat and then go to the post office to pick your package up.”
“Ok!”
She got to the meeting place exactly 4 minutes late (“Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!”), her hair still slightly damp from the shower, cheeks rouged from the wind, eyes sparkling in excitement and anticipation as she bounded forward.
I was also a little nervous and excited to be buying this (albeit, legal) drug, but I tried remaining calm in order to keep DL from bouncing into outer space. With our excitement mounting with each step towards Sherbrooke and St. Denis, the 20 minute jaunt blazed by in a quick fast forward.
We went to the location the store was supposed to be, and stared at an empty lot.
Oh.
We stood there, our enthusiasm sinking into the ground and now aware of the frigid wind kicking around.
But we’re both extreme optimists so we spent the next hour going up and down the street asking random people where the store relocated to. People pointed us in all sorts of directions, but rather than get extremely agitated we were actually giggling like little kids as we continued our wild goose chase.
We sprinted up and down the block, asking shop owners, passerbys, even policemen. We went two blocks down, three blocks up, a few blocks around. After about an hour or so, the frigid temperatures, our empty stomachs and our heaving breaths told us we needed to stop.
We went to Mickey D’s, tired and a little cold, but smiling happily. We both tore through a Chicken McNugget meal (ah…the taste of freedom!) while talking about nonsensical things college students talk about when they’re focused more on each other and the food in front of them rather than the conversation at hand.
I caught myself staring at her a little too often and I quickly realized this was one of those “Tony Montana burying his head in a mountain of coke before the epic gun battle” moments. There’s tons of shit going on around him, the world is literally disintegrating in front of him, but for that one, long second, everything is perfect.
This was it.
I had been cold (and I would be cold again when we left), but right now I had stripped to my T-shirt.
I had been tired (and I would be tired again on the long walk back), but right now I was slumped in a chair.
I had been thirsty (and I would be thirsty again), but I had a 32oz of Sprite with free refills in my hand.
I had been hungry (and I would quickly become hungry again), but I was already ripping into a McNugget and I had 8 more pieces to go.
And I had been lonely, and sad, and disheartened (and I probably still would when we parted ways later), but for this one moment in time, I had her all to myself.
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yakyu otaku
T.J. Smith
Et tu Gendawg.
Denuo caveat emptor “I mean I genuinely like her unlike any other girl.” Don’t we always say this? “my attraction to them was more physically based, while this seems purer because I’m not doing it for the looks, but more the character.” - -Just remember how this turned out for me.