Shortstop is Posted Back to Japan

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May 27th 2008
Published: May 27th 2008
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This is the girl I will miss...
Two days ago, Shortstop left Montreal.

Even though the things that come out of her mouth are fucking retarded most of the time, she’s an amazing friend. My best female friend up here in Montreal (more by virtue of the fact that 99% of McGill girls are dumb, skanky, white Toronto girls), we’re pretty tight. And I’ve gotten used to her brand of humor—saying retarded things is probably a great way to spice up the biting, witty sarcasm that most of my friends employ.

After spending a whole Sunday at Tam-Tams, drinking with Trini-Boy and then running into some friends and drinking with them, I was fucking tired and sloshed at 3am. But I had to go visit Yuriko before her flight the next day. I started walking over to her house.

Our relationship is strange. I’ve detailed on this blog how it started—one of the girls that I went after (and of course, failed to get) introduced us. When I first met Yuriko, I was in serious Japanese Girl Withdrawal having just spent a summer in Japan and then getting thrown into the whitewashed community of McGill. So I was interested, thought she was attractive, became friends
A More Flattering Pic of the ShortstopA More Flattering Pic of the ShortstopA More Flattering Pic of the Shortstop

with a less flattering pic of yours truly
with her, traded sad stories about our past relationships/romances, then didn’t talk to for awhile, fucked around in Calgary and then we partied a lot in May. Somewhere in this mess, I lost interest in her in the physical sense, and I became really tight with her.

I got to her house, we both talked about our days, what we did, the past, ignoring the huge pink elephant staring at our faces.

Of course, awkward silence quickly followed, and being my inebriated self, I rushed full-on into the fray.

“I’m going to miss you. Have fun in Japan.”

We hugged, she wished me luck with J-ZN and then I was jamming my feet into my sneakers in her doorway and walking out and thinking I would never see this girl again if I didn’t go to Japan this summer.

I was getting all sappy and emotional as I started walking home, and I probably would’ve cried but I realized I should be spending valuable melodramatic reflections on other girls.


Cuz I’m in a fucking drought.

The rest of the week has been largely inconsequential.

Before Shortstop said goodbye
Yusaku's BBQYusaku's BBQYusaku's BBQ

Either a BBQ, or a fucking math convention
to Montreal, we did a Skype videoconference with Teddy and his girl. It was nice to hear his voice again, but it reminded me, quite blatantly, that I was single, once again.

I went to a BBQ that my fellow countryman, Yusaku threw…and I was hoping I could get some batting practice in. But it was all Asians. And not the born in America, not Asian except for the 100 in Calculus Asian. But real Asians. Lived their whole lives in Taiwan…or China…or Korea…or Vancouver.

All the girls there had minds of 12 year old girls…I can spit some game…but not when the targets don’t know what game is. The party quickly disintegrated into me, Yusaku and another J-Boy, Yuki, bashing everyone there for being totally lame.

On Friday, I threw a small, Japanese class reunion (which involved me cooking them curry) that J-ZN and two others attended, but hyping up my interactions with J-ZN at that party into forward progress in my quest would be a gross inaccuracy. The two other people at the party were two Asian girls who were more innocent and sheltered than J-ZN (one is 23 years old and has an 11pm
J-ZN Holding A Curry PackJ-ZN Holding A Curry PackJ-ZN Holding A Curry Pack

The Japanese on the package says, literally, "Melts". Form your own jokes.
curfew) and in an annoying tendency that must come with the slanty eyes and a natural knack for math, Asian girls stick together and giggle non-stop about nonsensical events when placed in the same room. I guess you can throw me some bonus points because before the party, I made J-ZN come early and we cooked the curry together...but during the actual party, it was impossible to mount any sort of rally. It just reminded me, once again, that J-ZN is going to be a hard nut to crack.

And I only have a week to crack this nut! I’m going on a date with J-ZN Thursday, but do I have enough time? I’m thinking of busting something huge on this date…but getting rejected twice in two months will fuck up all the overwhelming confidence that I happen to have (confidence that is not based on anything, might I add).

And I want to be in tiptop shape next week, when I’ll be ten thousand feet in the air, cruising towards a land where meat, bass, drawls and huge tits are in overabundance…


28th May 2008

Look at your last line... that should be enough said. You'll be the kick ass AZN from NYC that goes to school in FRENCH Canada!!! time to change your team colors from the Tigers (or insert other j-league team) to the Rangers (or Stars... but who wants to be a National league team?)... just remember that.

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