Fish is Fish

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Just as I'm finally getting accustomed to being caffeine-free, I get a call that says dad is in the hospital. Man, there's nothing quite as helpless as being in a foreign country when a family member is in crisis. That’s an inauspicious way to start a travel blog post, but there you have it. Of course that spectre weights over the trip for the time being, but dad’s condition isn’t serious enough (I’m being told) to warrant completely cancelling the trip. For those curious, I have checked airfare from Toronto to Atlanta, and it’s $514 for any of the days that I’ll be on this trip. That’ll be a different story when I leave for Ottawa on Saturday. My flight back does leave from Ottawa, so if nothing major happens between now and Wednesday morning, there will be no need to change the flight I already have.

In current events, I see quite a few things happening back home in Trumpland. I’m not completely ignorant of the goings-on, but I don’t think anyone is ecstatic about ALL of the events. Despite my holidaymaking, I’m keeping my eye on you, America.

The first stop of the day was Ripley’s Aquarium. It sits right next to Rogers Centre, where I watched the Blue Jays play on Tuesday night. It’s also right next to CN Tower, but I’m saving that for Friday. With my City Pass, I was waved right on through, and the jokers didn’t even bother to tear out my ticket. So, anybody else want a free ticket to see the Aquarium soon?

The guidebook said to get there before 11 to beat the crowds. Sure, there weren’t many crowds, but most of the people there were under the age of 8, which made it seem (or at least sound) like many more. They’ve got your standard set up for an aquarium – big tanks with similar fish grouped in there; some information stations; and I guess it’s becoming standard to have a tunnel underneath part of the largest tank with the largest variety of animals. That was certainly the coolest part. They even had a walking conveyer belt on the floor, so you don’t even have to move your feet. Just your eyes. And there’s a lot to see. I will admit that hearing all the kids’s excitement does make it a better experience altogether. But that’s really the only place where that’s the case.

After the tunnel comes a big open space that looked like the end of the line to me, and I was disappointed. Never fear, though, as it was merely the halfway point. There’s a café where you can get drinks and breakfast foods (it was morning), and aside from the unintelligent cashier and someone else getting my order instead of me (but they were nice enough to hand it to me once they discovered they had mine), it was a delightful place. I cannot recommend it at all. Although the sausage and egg sandwich was made from a real egg – I watched them cook it. None of the prefabricated egg patty mess.

On the other side of the café were several smaller tanks – my favorite being the seahorses. They were so cute. Then you get to Ray Bay, where all the rays are. It was fascinating seeing them up close like that. And so many of them. Then there’s the jellyfish room, with several tanks of different types of jellyfishes. They fascinate me. So ancient yet they survive. The final part of the aquarium was the “behind the scenes” pumps and gears, where they show you just how clean and/or saline the water is, etc. I suppose it makes the staff have to keep all that equipment maintained. Smart move, aquarium designers.

You exit through the gift shop – big surprise – and it contains a whole lot of nothing exciting, especially not for those prices.

When I walked out of the aquarium, I considered going directly to the CN Tower. I mean, it’s right there next door. But I looked up and couldn’t even see the top of it due to cloud cover. The whole point of going up is to get great views. How great can the views be if you can’t even see through the clouds?

So I walked up a few blocks to the Second City theatre on Mercer Street. It’s where a lot of Canadian comedians got their starts – they have photos of Dan Aykroyd, Gilda Radner, Mike Meyers, John Candy and many others around the place. They were giving a show primarily for kids at 1PM, and it was the only one I could make during my time in Toronto. When I got there, I asked for a ticket, and they wanted to make sure I knew it was designed mainly for kids. “Yeah, but as long as it’s funny,” I replied. They assured me it would be. I was not aware just how much it catered to kids. First off, I sat in the front row; and the front section is composed only of tables with 4 chairs, all arranged so that they all face the stage. I could’ve put my foot on the stage if I’d wanted to recline. But I got sat with this woman and a kid she was babysitting. I’m guessing he was about 7. She looked to be in her 30s, but she was familiar to all the wait staff. Did I mention that it was dinner theater? Yes, you could order lots of kid-friendly food. I declined to order anything.

The show didn’t start until about 15 minutes after time, because they were waiting on a group or 2 of camp kids. Yep, this auditorium was packed with elementary-age kids. Damn. At least they laughed. I didn’t really get the best seat – besides being in the front row, it was next to the upright piano, so when there was singing, I didn’t always get to hear it because the piano was right in my ear. It was called “Big Bad Wolf vs Lord Underwearface von Schtinker.” Definitely aimed at kids. I thought there might be more humor aimed at the adults accompanying them, like you often see in kids movies or whatever. There was a little, but not much. I was generally amused, but I was ultimately glad I only paid $15 for the experience.

My next stop was the Bata Shoe Museum. I know what you’re thinking – a shoe museum? Yes. A shoe museum. But it was more than just shoes. They had whole outfits that went with shoes. And we’re not just talking late 20^th century high fashion; it incorporated shoe styles from ancient Egypt up to the present day. They had a whole exhibit on Arctic cultures, and how they developed footwear for various conditions or ceremonies. What I found fascinating was the way that gender was incorporated in the footwear. I believe that every people group that was on display here (from Siberia to Scandinavia and the Canadian Arctic) had separate styles to indicate male or female. After all, if everything is covered up, how could you tell whether you were encountering a man or a woman? Their footwear told you everything – some groups did color differences, others had patterns, and others had the triangle versus the rectangle. I wonder how they ever came up with that last one???

Another great exhibit dealt with the evolution and stigmatization of men’s heels. Of course Glam rockers got mentioned, as did my man Eddie Izzard, but one thing I found interesting is that the manliest of all men – the cowboys – were the ones who never gave up on heels. How’s that for some irony?

The uppermost floor had a display about the transition from hand-made to machine-made fashion. It was pretty cool. And they even had a pair of Queen Victoria’s shoes. The dyeing process was highlighted as a major toxic industry, and it also talked about how machine-made clothing (and shoes) brought the prices down considerably and allowed for more people to participate in fashion.

My final stop of the day was Yonge-Dundas Square, which has been compared to Times Square in NY. I can see why, but it’s not nearly the same size. Lots of colorful billboards all lit up at night.

I should take a moment on the pronunciation of some of these street names, since some of you may want to come to Toronto (and I may need to be reminded when I come back). Most of them are how you would expect, but here’s a few that might take you by surprise:

Dundas = DUN-dass

Yonge = Young

Spadina = spa-DYE-nuh

These are roads you’ll need to be able to pronounce, or else you’ll be immediately pegged as an outsider.

Anyway, I went to Yonge-Dundas Square to see a movie. I wanted to see Atomic Blonde, since it was just released (but technically not until tomorrow). That was sold out, despite me being there 45 minutes early. They had another showing in 3 hours if I’d like to hang around? Nope. Next on my list was Dunkirk, but the next showing wasn’t for another hour and change, plus the only seats were in the front row. Nope. Spider-Man? Yes, they have plenty for the IMAX showing that has just started. I’ve already seen it 3 times. But never in IMAX! Okay, okay. It was still good, even after 4 times.

And that was my Thursday. Tomorrow, I’ll be climbing to the top of the town, or at least the CN Tower. After that, it’s a lot of outdoors types of things – checking out some Art Deco, maybe a park or two, and a market. And I’ll want to get ahold of some souvenirs for some folks. It’s my last day in Toronto, so I’d better make sure I get everything done!

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