Proposing an Engaging Day

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So it’s a big day today, a bus trip to the mighty Niagara Falls. And we know this because at last count we’ve received 19 reminders from the tour company, via email and text, and I think I might have even seen a carrier pigeon lurking outside the window earlier this morning. I suppose it’s just vaguely possible that you might forget that you’d booked a tour to one of the world’s great natural wonders, but surely only if it had been a really bad day in the amnesia ward.

Our guide introduces himself as John, and he tells us he came to visit Toronto from London back in 1969 and never went home. The trip takes us round the east side of Lake Ontario, which probably isn’t all that overly exciting, mostly flat with lots of industrial development, and most of the bus now seems to be in dreamland.

I don’t know all that much about Niagara Falls, but perhaps just enough to not be overly surprised when we’re told that some ships struggle to navigate their way up the fifty metre or so vertical drop with what seems like half the world’s water cascading over it. But no problem there; we cross the very impressive Welland Canal which we’re told carries boats through a series of twelve locks between Lake Ontario and Lake Erie at the upstream end of the Niagara River.

It seems we were right in thinking that Toronto felt like a bit of a cultural melting pot. John tells us the United Nations currently recognises it as the most multicultural city on the entire planet.

We stop to stretch our legs at the Niagara College Teaching Winery. We’re told that their specialty here is so-called ice wine, which is harvested first thing in the morning in mid-winter January, when it’s typically minus twenty, and the grapes are full of ice crystals. The result is a sweet syrup which we get to taste. It’s apparently fairly pricey, as it seems you need an order of magnitude more grapes to make it than you do for a regular wine. It's very tasty.

We climb up the escarpment towards the Falls. Well we thought it was the Falls, but we find ourselves in the back streets of somewhere that looks like a cross between Las Vegas and Disneyland - a mass of casinos and fun parks, amusement parlours, fast food outlets, a ferris wheel, and where would we be without lots of that seemingly Canadian staple, the cannabis shop. There’s even a statue of King Kong hanging off the side of one of buildings.

The Falls are of course beyond stunning. The Canadian side Horseshoe Falls are massive and almost invisible through the mist, half blotting out the sun. They’re otherwise known as the Canadian Falls, and I reckon the Canadians are probably more than a bit chuffed that they dwarf their American cousin. The so-called American Falls look a bit more eroded with piles of rocks at the base. In between the two are the relatively much smaller Bridal Veil Falls separated from Horseshoe Falls by Goat Island, so named because the Indians kept their animals there during one particularly brutal winter and only a goat survived. We’re told that the Falls only come in somewhere around 400 in the world’s highest rankings, but they dominate when it comes to sheer volume of water over a significant drop. They stopped flowing completely for a bit over a day back in the winter of 1848 when the river was blocked by ice. Lots of people, known otherwise as daredevils (I think I might have used a different term), have apparently had a go at launching themselves over the Falls in barrels and similar devices over the years; some of them have even survived. In 1960 a seven year old boy was swept over when the boat he was in broke down, and is the only person known to have done so unprotected and survived. This incident subsequently became known as “The Miracle at Niagara”.

We’re served lunch in a restaurant overlooking the whole stunning scene, and are then herded with what feels like half the population of the planet onto a boat for a cruise along the river. We’re given bright red ponchos to wear, but we might as well be wearing tea towels for all the good they’re doing trying to keep us dry under the cascade of ”mist” radiating from the Falls. I don’t know why they call it mist; you couldn’t get any wetter in a tropical cyclone.

Readers of the entry from 25 June might remember reference to a mysterious stranger who met us for breakfast in Lethbridge, and promised to meet us here again today to reveal the details of his clandestine plan. He appears through the mist as promised, almost unrecognisable draped in his red poncho. Hang on, he looks vaguely familiar. It’s Michael! He takes the previously mysterious box from his pocket, opens it to reveal something round and shiny, and gets down on one knee in front of our beloved Emma. He asks her a question we can’t quite hear over the roar but manage to get the gist of, and she nods enthusiastically!!!!! Issy and I can’t stop screaming. Most of the boat has now caught onto what’s happening, and clapping and cheering breaks out all around. We’re christened “The Love Boat”. We can’t believe that we’ve just experienced one of life’s great moments happening to one of our very own right in front of our eyes. I’m glad I’m soaked from head to foot; I wouldn’t want anyone to notice the tears. Magical, never to be forgotten, and the Falls are now almost an afterthought.

The rest of the day is of course a complete anticlimax, but we eventually regain our composure and head off down the bank of the Niagara River back towards Lake Ontario. We stop at the so-called whirlpool where the River tries to take a right angle bend through the gorge, and can’t quite manage it, resulting in a spectacular maelstrom of white water.

We continue on down the escarpment and stop in the impossibly cute town of Niagara on the Lake. This is tourist central, but all done very tastefully, with colourful and immaculately manicured garden beds decorating a main street lined with boutique stores, ice cream shops, restaurants and luxury inns. We’re told that this is a popular place to retire. Well it might be, if, as Michael puts it, ”you s**t money”. The local real estate agent is advertising shoe boxes starting at a cool million and a half, and if you want to splurge on something slightly bigger they’re happy to relieve you of ten times that or more. We suspect the age profile here might tend towards the upper end if the unusually large number of dentists and businesses offering hearing aids is anything to go by.

Back in Toronto we celebrate the happy couple’s big day at a restaurant across the road from our apartment, then it’s back to our digs for wine and cheese and lots of video calls to family and friends on both sides of the Pacific. I don’t think we’re going to forget this day any time soon.

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Comments

[D MJ Binkley]

Fabulous Engagement!
I couldn't read fast enough to get to the fun parts. Ah... perfect. So glad the ring didn't wash away. Fabulous! Lots of celebrating ahead!

[RENanDREW]

Beautiful photo
And congratulations to the happy couple :)

[DaveandIssy]

Engagement
Many thx. I’ll pass on your congrats!