Timeless travel blues

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Back in the land of the maple leaf and friendly people...

I have been back from travelling for exactly a month now. Feelings are bitter-sweet. Is it the travel blues? Am I depressed? Should I have stayed in sunny Australia? Am I just not seeing the doors that are to be open?

I have moved back to a beloved mountain town, that I have always been in love with. The mountains are gorgeous and the seasons here are beautiful and pure. I found happiness in my life, in this same town, 5 years ago. I had a good life here, before I decided to let everything go. I think sometimes, when you get too comfortable in your life, you need to shake things up. When you are too cozy, you are blind to new adventures and opportunities. It is my mission in life to break this cycle, and see the world as much as I can. To get out of my comfort zone and go meet people that are completely different, but very much the same when you get to know them. Everywhere you will travel, you will meet people like you. 6 months ago, I had the biggest courage of my life to quit my job in a world renowned hotel to go work and travel to the other side of the world. I do not regret a thing; I would do it all over again. The memories created are priceless. I decided that 6 months was enough, I did not want to get too comfortable living so far away from my family. It's one thing to have to fly 5 hours to see your family, within Canada, but I didn't see myself flying over 20 hours every time I would miss my family.

It is fall over here in this beautiful ski town: it rains everyday. The leaves have fallen off the trees and there's this crisp smell of wet leaves and pine trees in the air. Newbies are moving in to the hostels, often sharing a room with 4 to 5 strangers, or renting a closet for 500$ a month, all wanting to live the dream. I got lucky enough to find a condo for rent for a couple of months, just enough to get myself back up on my feet. That's what I thought when the grass was greener. It is difficult to look forward to another great ski season, when you don't have a job yet. I have never thought that a job could define you, give you a purpose in life. For the last month, I wake up every morning with the hope of an email or a phone call that would offer me an interview. I wake up every morning with a feeling of not having a purpose in life. And that kills a dream. I have always worked to travel, work to live, never live to work. I chose to live life to the fullest and not get caught up in anything that will suck the life out of you. Right now, I have no work, but something is still sucking the life out of me.

The grass does always seem greener on the other side. When I was in Australia, I wished I was back in the British Columbian mountains. Now that I am here, I love the view, but nothing is happening for me. It's like I am stuck in this time bubble, where nothing happens, nothing changes, nothing moves forward. I am just stuck on a treadmill, jogging towards this goal of finding a job that I love, and it's just not happening. Don't get me wrong, the jobless life is an entertainment of its own when you have a creative mind like mine, but bills don't pay themselves with happiness.



How is it that money rules our lives? Which dream am I really chasing? The dream of living in a ski town, or the dream of working to travel? Every morning I wake up with 100 questions in my head. Every night, I go to bed with a hundred more.

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