Courage

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“Be courageous,” Gabriel says to me, at three already deeply in love with words. He gives me a sidelong glance before plunging a forefinger into a bucket of fish roe, scarlet up to the knuckle. That is how our last morning began: a happy grandmother, standing on a wharf, modeling courage but not feeling brave.

It has occurred to me that I am cutting myself ruthlessly adrift, after 35 years of non-stop mothering. I must have liked it, I tell myself, and the truth is I have, though not every single bit. So now that the last step-chick has flown the coop (more of a disgruntled owlet, Michael, judging by the hours he keeps) I am finally free to cram my life into a suitcase and launch myself into the unknown. I know only that I will look back on the morning when mothering ended and grand-mothering had to be put on hold, trying to accept this moment in all its bitter sweetness, as Gabriel wheels around the dock with outstretched arms, scattering seagulls.

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Comments

[Michele]

adorable
Liz, if that is Gabriel, then I am in love! What a darling! Cherie would have loved him. I understand modeling courage but not feeling brave...that IS motherhood! love, Michele

[Marcie]

Hi! Thanks for explaining yourself and starting by "be courageous". Of course, be courageous. This is what you inherited from your grandparents, great grandparents, and great great grandparents on both sides. I am thankful and you must be thankful, also, for what has gone before us. - Marcie

[Gayle Stevenson]

The system works!
The little boss is gorgeous -- and determined-looking too! Just imagine how he'll have grown and changed when you alight from your adventures. Have a glorious time. I envy you. Gayle

[Vera Bomse]

In awe! Of you!
I am in awe of you! Where are you now? Any way you can be reached by phone? probably not. be safe. Have gobs of fun. love, Vera

[Miri Garaway]

A Bold New Beginning
Dear Liz and Ron, How beautifully and profoundly put. Gabriel is indeed wise. May each day bring nourishment, fulfillment and adventure. We look forward to sharing your experiences and devouring your literary missives. Travel in safety and in well-being. We miss you already. Love, Miri and Larry

[mary]

clone
Tom, Noah's buddy in early childhood, was shown this photo and asked "who does this look like ?" "Noah Morantz !" Your grandmotherly words touch my heart and give me longing.