Wedding in Israel

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I apologize for not keeping everyone updated about the wedding weekend, but
there was shabbos and wedding hoorahs and other biznass with which to deal.

So it turns out that the night before the wedding i was poisoned at a
restaurant and spent the entire night blowing chunks and shitting water. I
say i was poisoned because my friend rachel and i sat at the same table and
Rachel was kinda giving the waitstaff a hard time because they were doing a
shitty job. Anyway, the thing is all 14 of us ate at the restaurant, and
rachel and i were the only ones to get food poisoning----neat.

So i spent the day of the wedding curled in a ball in a dark room, trying to
drink water and not throw it up, and somehow muster the energy to make it to
the wedding i flew a gazillion miles to attend. I had to wait for rachel to
bring my clothes from her house to the hotel ( i stayed w/ seth's fam that
night) and the plan was we were gonna meet at 5 and go over to the wedding
early (it started at 6:15). Well, 5:30 rolls around and there's no sign of
rachel. I call her and she says she's leaving her house in 5-10 minutes.
um, woops. Turns out she forgot my clothes, had to turn around and go home
and then come back. She didn't get to the hotel (actually i met her on the
street corner wearing the previous day's dirty clothes) until about 20 after
6. So we get to the old city and i am pissed because i really really didn't
want to be late. We start hauling balls, running barefoot through the
streets of jerusalem, trying to get to the wedding. Turns out we weren't
that late after all.

Lisa, seth's wife, looked beautiful. I don't feel like going through the
ceremony bit by bit. Suffice it to say that it was a little crazy, a little
weird, and i had to elbow my way through people to try and see what was
going on. Lisa was shrouded through the entire thing, which kinda seemed
like a bummer to me, but what do i know? The class we took about the
wedding and the reasons for specific rituals was very helpful and gave depth
to something that otherwise would have left me confused.

The reception was great. I was sick so i didn't really dance, which i was
kinda happy about because the girl's side of the party was lame anyway. It
was way more fun to go watch all of the men dance and do flips and crazy
stunts on the other side. For the phish fans out there, i kinda compare the
boys side of the celebration to the way an arena feels after the climax of
YEM. There was a great spilling out of joy on behalf of all the
participants...and it was pretty cool to see old rabbis gettin' down.

A word or two about the hugs:

So obviously in the last email i was lamenting pretty heavily
about the hug thing---and for the record i will probably always feel that
way in some degree. But i want to turn my attention now to looks........you
know, the looks that say a million things. There was more than one occasion
throughout the week where seth stood up and gave toasts and thanks to
everyone who came to the wedding. Every time there was a speech, i found
myself with eyes welling up and my gaze casting downward. On the night
before his wedding, seth stopped by the hotel to grab his kitel (garment
worn by the groom). There was a brief moment when he stepped out into the
hallway and i was standing out there. He gave me a look, and with hands
pressed gently across his chest he said, "Lynz, i really want you to know
how much you being here means to me. It just---"and then he started to
choke up. The look he gave, the sincerity in his face, was worth more than
a million hugs.
There was another toast when Edye was thanking her friends
for coming to the wedding and she talked about how her friends over the
years had become her family........and when she said that, Seth looked over
at me, nodded gently, and there was this flash exchange of emotion. Instant
tears. It may seem a little weird that i'm breaking down our verbal
exchanges into such detail.....it sounds like something you would do to
describe a first date or something, but you have to understand that this is
what i have now.
I mention all of this because to be honest, this past week was a
little draining. It's hard to let the past go. For a lot of the week, in
some ways i felt like i was losing my friend. I did a lot of reminiscing
about heart to hearts seth and i have had over the past.....i thought a lot
about the mornings the two of us spent opening up the Amused store, sleeping
off the previous night's hangover and listening to bluegrass. He's come a
long way from the dready hippy kid next door to the pious jew living in
jerusalem. What brought me comfort this week were those looks. Those looks
of assurance that let me know that even though he's in a different place, i
am still an important part of his life.....and as he so elequently stated,
part of what got him to where he is.
When he was dancing with those guys, he was absolutely radiant. It's been a
long time since i've seen or felt joy in such a palpable form. And as his
friend, it made me humbled that i made such a big deal about the hug thing.
When you see the people you love as ecstatically happy as i saw him, nothing
else matters. It all seems trite, the details...........and it probably
stems from a little bit of jealousy that comes from witnessing the peace and
joy of someone who has found their path, and is following confidently in its
direction.

I said many times throughout the week, and i echo the sentiment now.
I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

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