note to self, do not imitate muppets Swedish chef

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Whoop whoop, country number three. We're in Sweden and very lovely it is too. Although I am sitting here watching as as Ash tries to light the barbecue using ALL the firelighters and I am fearing somewhat for our future safety, just as well we've parked next to a fire extinguisher.......



Waking up in Oslo we had our allotted six minute shower, plotted a route and headed off for Sweden. Needless to say, Norway going back south was just as beautiful as Norway headed north. We approached the Norway Sweden border and spotted a queue but assumed it was the border crossing. As we waited, Ash made eye contact with a border control woman and, surprise surprise, we were beckoned over. It would seem that if you want to get stopped by all border patrols or on route anywhere, drive a white van. After a brief interrogation and us assuring them we didn't have a family of Chinese immigrants or any contraband in the back they let us go. Back into the queue. For another hot 40 minutes. turns out the closed road was the source of the queue so a quick re route to confuse the sat nav ( Simon the sat nav, volume turned off so when he shouts at me it doesn't matter) and we found our way into Sweden. Which is lovely.

Gothenburg is on the same road as Oslo conveniently so not hard to find, shame the same can't be said for the campsite which has two branches twenty minutes apart. We stopped at a supermarket ( I could happily have stayed all day here and bought one of everything, it was like the food hall at IKEA only a gazillion times better but I wasn't allowed to) bought bacon paste, yes, really, and burgers and headed to, typically, the wrong campsite. The nice Swedish campsite man directed us to the right campsite and it was very definitely worth it. A beach, sun, cool breeze and a shower block to beat all shower blocks. Camping Askim Strand I salute you



Sooooo, the beach.Always looks tempting on a hot day doesn't it. We thought so. And it was lovely when we got there. Ash even swam. However to get there you had to traverse a line of stones surrounded with what, to my mind at least, appeared to be sinking sand topped with slippy mud, possibly with a layer of ice, a fine spray of oil and ...well, you get the picture. I can't stand up straight for long on flat surfaces with friction, wearing stout shoes and holding on to a fence so on slippy rocks.......at least I provided entertainment for the lithe and athletic beings on the rest of the beach and to my credit, it may not have been beautiful but it got me over to the sea. It was worth it too, the sea was warm, Ash went for a swim, I sat on a rock and all was well with the world.



This brings us to the barbecue, having promised the very nice lady at reception that we wouldn't start a fire, I'm a bit worried I might have been a little optimistic, I'm off now to get both burger buns and ketchp and wet towels and an extinguisher ready.



Things I learnt

1. If you want to talk to lots of customs and passport people, travel in a white transit.

2. Sainsburys basics midget gems are essentially the crack cocaine of the sweet world and should be avoided unless you want to not only eat all the packets you have but also dream of them

3. Apparently birds can be ' walkers' in the manner of wagtails or 'hoppers' in the manner of sparrows. How I lived this long without knowing that is a mystery.

4. Swedish cars are apparently built without indicators

5. Swedish supermarkets are great

6. Four firelighters at once is too many

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