Wild World

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OOOOOooook. So. The last time I wrote was some time last week. Since then I went to Cordoba for a morning and met Carlos and he showed me a really nice park. It was up on a really high hill and the mountains were behind us and the city in front of us. It was really nice. Other than that I have been spending a lot of time with the kids. The youngest, Jacobo, seems to really like me now, not that he didn't before. This past weekend one of their old au pairs came to visit and it was really fun. She is working in Sevilla and we will definitely see each other again. We went out Saturday night in Palma, first it was just Lauren (old au pair), Katrina, and I and then later on Hannah (another Canadian au pair who lives in Ecija) came and met up with us. It was a very interesting evening to be sure. For one thing, we drank cuba libres at an icecream shop!! Weird. Anyway, we ended up meeting a bunch Palma residents and going to bars we never knew existed. When we got home after a terrible trek back, we all went swimming in the pool and passed out in my house. The next day was spent sitting in my living room with the airconditioner on and the lights off. Ha. I kept going back and forth to the big house for supplies as I was most definitely in better shape than the others!

In other news, Ramon continues to give me life advice whenever possible. I recently told him that I was considering leaving school for a while, however long, and that I wanted to travel around and work, etc. We had a long conversation about it with him telling me that I am too much of an idealist and I need to grow up. That the world sucks and all I have is myself when it comes down to it and I need my degree to make the best of myself. I need to get off my cloud and stand on the ground because I need to clue into the real world. Interesting, harsh. He then told me that he knows that I am too loving and in need of giving affection to be able to happily live the lonely life of a traveller. I need someone or numerous someone's to give affection to and to care about. This is definitely true. He went on to say that it would be easier to travel and things when I do get my degree as I will have more financial independence and can be an international school teacher. Also true.
I have a lot to think about as it seems that the most realistic thing to do is to go back to school. However, when I look back on the things that I wrote last year, even starting in September, all I wanted was to get away. I am definitely between a rock and a hard place. My best friends are in Montreal and will only be there for a short amount of time.... why make the time shorter by ditching early? But I really didn't like it last year and felt extremely unfulfilled and unhappy. Was that something that I brought upon myself by focusing so much on wanting to leave?? Would it be that way if I went back?


I don't want to be miserable.

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