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Published: January 26th 2012
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Before I start to explain why I am here, I would like to explain the motive and the inspiration that drives me to continue traveling and to find purpose in all the treasures the world grants.
My name is Allison Kuehn. Though now I am in the romantic city known in literature as Seville, Spain, this has not been my first sojourn away from the states. As a current university student studying abroad, I am a bit older than my counterparts as my first year in college commenced at the age of 21. Now at 23, I still continue to take on challenges and living gyspsy lifestyle is still a passion.
Prior to attending the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, I had been working and traveling as an international fashion model in various cities in the Asian market. All of which include Bangkok, Taipei, Hong-Kong, Shanghai, and Singapore. My first trip was in Bangkok, Thailand when I was 17 and had been traveling up until the age of 20. (There will be more entries to come about these places).
Prior to traveling, my freshmen, sophomore and only half of junior year of high school was completed in a traditional setting and then graduated via an online high school my senior year in 2007.
During such times, modeling was not as glamourous as everyone in my small hometown in Waunakee, Wisconsin thought it was. There was a large misconception of what my lifestyle provided for me in the sheltered bubble that gave much false preconcieved notions. At the delicate and insecure age of 17, it was my junior year of high school when I first ventured off. It was hard to rekindle many friendships after returning home because I had grown apart and envy got the better of many classmates.
There was one classmate and dear friend that I will never forget and never let me down.
Here is my story about him:
It was sophomore year in high school just 2 months shy of my 16th birthday. It was first period of math class just like any other mundane day and I had considered skipping and sleeping in. The night prior, I had a dream about some tall, dreamy figure. Such abstract images had manifested into my psyche with a purpose telling me that someone was on his way. While adolescent politics had made me skeptical about such a fantasy coming to fruition; I hoped my day would come now that my braces had been removed.
I had just missed the bell by a few minutes for my regular cappuccinno fix (which was of low corn syrup quality), only to look at who was sitting in the front row. It was a human God-like statuesque creature like no one I had ever seen before. He had the largest round, cow eyes that radiated a mild energy that caught my attention. His hair was dyed jet-black and was tastefully cut to trim fashion. He had a lanky '6"2 frame which made me less worried about my '5"10 frame. His most salient feature was his hitchhikers thumb complemented by a silver ring, (which he would wear for the rest of his life). His outward style was what made his stand out among the rest of us. He had a gauge in each ear about half an inch in diameter and he was decorated with jewelry that resembled a CBGB regular.
His attire, however in now way reflected his demeanor. He was timid and his body language was yielding as he was hiding his face to avoid the first encounter with in the new, daunting environment. With an apphrensive look on his face, I knew that his charm was laid out in his modesty. Everyone was speculating with curiousity and awe. The boys stared in admiration and the girls in lust.
"This is our new student we have today," announced our math teacher, "please try to make him feel welcome".
He paused. "Why, don't you introduce yourself, Andrew?"
Reluctantly and still avoiding eye contact with any other soul, he whimpered,
"I'm Andy."
Enter Andy Partridge.
Years went by and high school came and gone. He had been my intimate friend for six years and we witnessed each other go through ups and downs in the hardships of each other's lives. Through bad relationships, substance abuse, rejection and career failures, we had been there for on-again-off-again support. He had been the only classmate that didn't forget about my existence as I disappeared to faraway lands.
Through the medium of the internet, he still wanted to know how I was doing. At one point, my loneliness and ecstacy habit were making me hysterical and almost pushing me to end my own life during my contract in Singaore. It was Christmas season and there were was no one else to spend it with. It was 99 degrees fahrenheit with full humidity and the street radiated heat waves. Yet, nothing ever felt so cold and hopeless. I had just ended plans to move to Australia with a boyfriend and was living with Brazilian girls who only wanted to conversate in Portugese. One night after I had taken 3 pills and thought I was overdosing, Andy started chatting with me on Facebook. He was telling me about similar issues he was having on the other side of the world. We both comiserated and agreed to hang out as soon as I would return to the states.
A few more years went by and I lost contact with him gradually. It was due to reasons that his own demons that were identical to mine got the better of him and the guy I had once known was lost in oblivion. Nevertheless, I always asked mutual friends if he was okay and if he had been getting help. Unfortunately, on December 3rd, 2011, he took the final, fatal dose. It was the most devastating times in my life. Being able to forgive myself by not saying anything to him and not reaching out to him in the same way he did for me in Singapore will be one of the highest hurdles to jump over. A month and a half later to this day, it is still a struggle.
Andy was the most gentle soul and the most accepting to all humanity. One of the lines to a song he wrote goes as follows:
"Paint it out in shades of gray until you realize we are all the same".
Andy, you knew more about compasion in your 23 years on earth than most do in their entire life. I just hope you know how much of a difference you made in mine. This entire blog is dedicated to you. You wanted to travel and see the world, and now your spirit is with me. That motto couldn't be more appropriate.
RIP and love forever.
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