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Published: August 16th 2010
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A derivation from the Five Tibetan Rites
Before I start, I should mention that this is a special blog devoted to the infamous writer RFP.
The Tibetan Rites are a special form of Yoga developed over centuries in Tibet. For further information on the exercises you should click on the following link. http://www.mkprojects.com/pf_TibetanRites.htm
BTW - I recommend these as they really have an effect. I exercise every day to keep fit during my travels. In order to appreciate the Spanish Rites you should practice the Tibetan Rites at least once.
I think I should come to the point and only mention that the below has been developed very carefully with deep thoughts of everyday Spanish rituals, especially in the Andalucía region, by RFP.
1) Take a long knife in your left hand and a sharpener in your right one. Focus on the blade. Observe it. Don’t let your mind go anywhere else. Breathe in and sharp one side of the blade rightwards. Immediately after, turn the knife with a quick move of your left wrist, breath out, and sharp the other side of the blade with the same movement. Repeat this at least 10
times very precisely and you will exercise the muscles of your forearm and biceps.
2) Take a jamon leg with its wooden support. Place it on a table parallel to your chest. Stand up; don’t try to seat on a chair. The hoof on the left side. The knife on your right hand. Focus on the curve lines of the jamon. Bend your knees slightly. Breath in, hold the hoof with your left hand and with the right one slide the knife into the jamon leftwards till you get a slice as slim as tobacco rolling paper. Breathe out, take the slice firmly and put it onto a plate. Repeat the exercise as many times as you need to fill the whole plate. Don’t forget to put one slice directly into your mouth for every 2 slices you put onto the plate. We call it quality control. This rite helps you stretch the thighs, calves and triceps.
3) Take a bottle of beer. Almost frozen. The Spanish weather conditions are extremely hot. Find an opener. If not, a lighter could make it, but this technique is really advanced and cannot be explained in this chapter. Open the freezer,
and take the chilly glass you previously placed into the freezer to help with the atmosphere conditions. Breathe in, hold the bottle tight into your left hand and open it with a quick twist of your right wrist. Breath out, tilt the glass 33degrees and pour the beer into the glass so no foam will show up.
4) Take the plate with jamon. And the glass of beer. Sit down. Back totally vertical. Your mind empty. Don't jump from thought to thought. Breathe in, put jamon into your mouth. If you cut it correctly and the slice was slim enough, you won't need to chew it, it will melt on your tongue. Breath out, take a swig of beer, feel the liquid go down your throat, into your stomach. Burp. The bitter taste of the beer will need to be followed by the salty taste of the jamon again. Repeat this cycle till you empty the plate and glass. This rite is unique as it exercises the inner muscles of your digestive system as well as your jaws and tongue.
5) Go to the sofa, sit on it slowly, the last thing you need is to break any muscle fibre. Lift your legs, feel your abdominals tight and put the legs on the sofa. Lay your back straight onto the sofa looking upwards. Breathe in, close your eyes. Breath out, start snoring. Do it for 1 hour. Be persistent. It is not easy to keep on snoring for 60min. This is commonly known as 'siesta'.
Only a devotee to Spanish culture would have been able to develop these rites. If you feel you are too fit from practicing the Tibetan rites you should switch to the Spanish rites for a few weeks.
I hope you will enjoy practicing it.
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