See you soon.

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I woke up early to see my friends off at Yartek. I didn't have time for a shower and Marina Ivanovna said that I was not allowed to have one when I got back. I may not wash when she is not in the flat. And I must shave today.

Another tie in the temperature game, we guessed a degree either side of minus 2. The week finished 2-1 to me, hopefully we will be guessing real winter numbers on monday!

I said my own goodbyes on ulitsa Nekrasova, not in a mass of hugs at Domidedovo airport. All the teachers were moved to watch their pupils walk onto the coach. Olga, Lena, Viktor, Larissa and Natasha are the kindest people, with the warmest hearts.

Jamie will be in Moscow next semester so I hope I'll see him on some weekends. Emma, Sara, Dawn, Bhavina, Precious and Sarah will be in St. Petersburg so it will be harder to visit, but I will find a way to go there a couple of times. I hugged the girls and walked back to ulitsa Bolshaya Oktyabr'skaya.

Another reason I did not go to Moscow is I need to do some thinking on my own. Since I saw the stabbed man in the street my view of Russia has changed. It is no longer a new and exciting place. It has become somewhere in which I have to work very hard to stay in control of both my self respect and my studies. The adrenaline rush of being an outsider went a long time ago - I want to replace it with a feeling that I belong here.

Marina Ivanovna got back at 7 and I had a bath. When I got out she came into my room for a chat. I would much prefer her to speak in Russian to me because I understand her, but she wants to practice her English. We spoke about Russian life, agreed on the hardships undertaken by the people since the Cold War, then talked about England and how the people here mistake my society completely. Marina Ivanovna has been to Yorkshire once (to not marry a 74 year old man) so she knows more than most. She has invited me to the Volkov theatre - the first theatre ever built in Russia. I said I would check my diary.

The talk became more than uncomfortable when she started talking about money. Why had my grandmother given me money when she was alive? Did I think that it wasn't enough, so decided to waste it in gambling halls? I must learn from my wrongdoings. Not being able to go to Moscow is a punishment. Do I agree?

Do I believe in God? Why not? Why not? Am I a cruel person?

She wants to help me by finding my inner energy. We gain energy when we sleep, and 40% through what we eat. If I do not eat Russian food I will not find a connection with Russian people which is why Tamara Aleksandrovna disliked me. Marina Ivanovna believes that I am a sinner and wants to help me change.

I am not against talks like these. I only talk in Russian and it is a good challenge for me to argue my point of view, providing she doesn't dismiss my ideas as proof of my wrong thinking. And I am in the flat so rarely - and more rarely from now on - that her preaching won't have time to unsettle me.

Despite the conversation I went to bed thinking only of my friends. By the time I got to sleep they were already at home in England.

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