Goodbye India

Europe » Netherlands
November 22nd 2010

Published: November 22nd 2010

My flight from Nepal to Mumbai was far more exhausting than i could have ever guessed. It is only a two hour flight, but included three body searches, two luggage searches, three bag x-rays and a private meeting with Indian Immigration (so much for my double entry visa). Then came a 90 minute cab ride, with the cabbie asking for directions before we had even left the airport! Ouch.

My plan was to rock Mumbai on this return visit. To land after three weeks of "training" and find the experience not just palatable, but positive. To walk to Chowpatty beach and order the same meal i could not eat three weeks ago. To enjoy it and enjoy being on the streets of Mumbai.

As the cab grinded and honked its way through Mumbai i sadly (again) felt a seed of horror growing in my soul, as mile after mile of shacks, crumbling buildings, stunning population density, heaps of garbage and unbearable pollution levels impacted me. Towards the end of the ride, both the cabbie and i were jumping out of the car, asking people to help us find the address of my hotel. Again, the Indian people are so generous and friendly that this was not a problem. Eventually we found the way and i arrived in a slightly better neighborhood than the last visit.

I have to admit i was not looking forward to hitting the streets in the dark. The hotel immediately offered me a bottle of water; i was very thirsty and not feeling well. On closer inspection i could easily see it that the bottle had no seal and was therefore refilled with local tap water. After that, i declined to order food, remembering Marcey's warning (and Lonely Planet and others) not to eat at the place you stay as they might try to poison you in an effort to entice a longer stay and lucrative medical visits. Really? After three weeks i am still worrying about such evil things? Mumbai was again off to a rough start for me.

I worked up some courage and headed out into the streets to find that Chowpatty beach restaurant. It was dark, 28 degrees, humid and well populated with only "local" people. Everyone was again staring at me, like i had landed from mars. People would literally part a path for me to walk through. Did i mention, i chose to stay in very budget locations on this trip? Anyway, it felt difficult walking alone in the dark.

I realized that it would be very easy to get lost, so after about 10 blocks i asked for directions. I was heading the wrong way. 10 blocks back and 10 blocks further, i again learned that i was walking the wrong way! 10 blocks back and i, sweaty and weak, learned that i was asking for directions to a beach that did not exist, or was pronounced entirely unlike my version. I also have this problem in English from time to time...

As I was feeling exceedingly unwell, i ducked into a cleanish looking restaurant to eat and, to my absolute fortune, the waitering staff spoke zero English. A chain of events then occurred that left me sitting with a couple of University students who offered to share their table. I was so ready for a friendly chat and some help ordering. They ordered me a Dosa and something else green and mucky. They then taught me how to eat with my fingers and how to mix spices into the food. To be honest, the whole finger thing is just gross. There was only a tiny napkin on the table that i destroyed in like 4 minutes, but the experience was funny to them. Indian people have no trouble laughing right at you, but it is not without ill intentions. It was fun amusing them and others nearby and the waitering staff.

Anyway, the food was great and the conversation even better. One student was in a medical program and both have had the chance to live abroad. They shared with me their distaste for the pollution and noise. They affirmed for me how dangerous it is to drink the tap water and hypothesized that my un-wellness was pollution catching up to my weak Canadian body. We shared our concerns for the future of the planet and they reassured me they were willing to do something about it (but what?). It was a great meal and i am embarrassed to report that they nabbed the bill from me and insisted on paying for my food. We are going to be Facebook friends, but they assured me if Canada is as cold as i report, they will wait for my return to visit again.

It is hard to summarize my thoughts on this travel adventure and it will likely take a few weeks to process all that i saw and experienced. I am turning 40 soon and have been struggling with the concept of "mid-life".

It is just that I have been so busy and focused these past 20 years. Busy accomplishing a whole number of important "life tasks". Nothing it seems will ever be able to replace the thrill of meeting Stacey and convincing her to say "yes". Nothing could replace the thrill of finishing university together, starting our careers, finding a home and creating our little family. It has been 20 years with one stunning moment after another. What can top becoming a dad (twice), taking your babies on their first vacation, experiencing the first day of school, and watching them drive your car?

The remaining item left on my "important list", from my age 20, was to see India. India finishes all that i thought i needed to do in life at age 20. Coincidentally, it is also the exact thing i needed to finish the life phase i have been in and to enter into the next. New adventures and new challenges. And that my friends is a little of what the mid-life crisis is all about; a painful goodbye to one life chapter and movement towards new tasks and new goals. My "Top 40" list for my 40's was part of the plan in India, but i am stuck now at number 37. It is a good thing i have months and months to go... I have reviewed the list each day, trying to improve upon it, but still struggle with the painful realization that the "really great list" is behind me. I maybe will turn my attention now to making more of a positive social impact, and/or environmentalism and/or other similar privileges. I pledge now to stop talking negatively about turning 40 and beyond.

I am going to be honest about India. It is a tough place. I tried so hard to see the magic and was left largely struggling over the pollution, the desperation and the general social compromise. I have recently been reading books on how we can fix our planet from the environmental disaster(s) looming. India clearly called to me about hope in things less "temporary" and more eternal. That was a unifying thread of the places i visited; faith built into the DNA of the people (Christian, Muslim, Hindu and Buddhist). When people fail, there can be hope in a greater truth and meaning. This faith can provide healing, comfort and, for some, purpose.

While the conditions in India were difficult, the compassion of the Indian people for each other could teach the Western world a lesson or two. We stopped traffic 6 times last night to get help and it was offered without hesitation. I took a family's expensive railway seat by accident and they offered me food and friendship without complaint. In 5 days i developed a relationship with a local villager that would take me 5 years in Canada and, last night, two students bought me my supper and taught me how to eat with my hands.

India was a great adventure and i am so privileged that i could do it. That i have team members in the office managing Qube's affair. That i have clients, friends and family that allowed the escape. Thanks to all.

I post this from Amsterdam, intending to make it through to Seattle and then Edmonton today. Thank-you for reading this blog, as it was fun for me knowing you had interest in my journey. I return to Canada more appreciative of all of you.

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