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Published: December 14th 2009
Now listen here. While all of you are sitting there each day going to the extreme trouble of clicking the icon you've (hopefully) added to your favourites bar in your internet browser to find our blog page in your nice easy day to day lives, take a little time and think about the pain that I am going through as your main connection to our travelling experience. Let me throw a few numbers at you.
26,876 kilometres travelled since I left Australia
3,099 kilometres since I started driving the campervan
8,710 photographs, totalling 34.5 GB of space on my hard drive, not including 2088 deletions of crap photos to make sure your viewing experience is optimal
69,908 words of blogs at an average of 50 words a minute, which gives
24.73 continuous hours spent in front of an eye-frying computer screen
324 hours of lost sleep
- 2 degrees outside at night on average, and
1 mongrel of a cold as a result
But readers, because you love me so, I will continue to endeavour to do my best to bring you the news, but it MAY BE LATE sometimes, and I will hear no griping. It's a hard
job I'm doing here. That's life, goodnight, as Derryn Hinch would say.
So. Luxembourg. A country with an haughty inferiority complex topping Monaco, Lichtenstein and Andorra all rolled together. A country that the French would say was German and the Germans would say was French. Ask a McLuxemBurger and they'll tell you (in Luxembourgish mind you, not French or German) that they are independent of both, and have a well-staked identity steeped in years of history fighting both countries off for centuries at threat of yearly annexation.
Whew... Now that I've gotten the journalist bullshit out of the way....
What a fairytale place! We arrived after crossing the imaginary border via Bastogne, and the vista was bella almost immediately. It's amazing, and you're going to call me crazy, but every time we cross the border into another country, the landscape changes dramatically almost immediately. Aleks has noticed it too, so it's not just the tail end of my ice addiction. And here in Lux (Luxembourg is too long, and I'm on a time limit) it was no different.
Clervaux was our first arrival point, and is a little town in the north of the country, small
The Clervaux Church
Clervaux, Luxembourgand unassuming, but beautiful to say the least. We arrived there about 1300 in the afternoon, and walked immediately to the local Chateau (castle), which was unsurprisingly closed. This white and brown semi-tudor, semi-Greek looking castle was actually bombed to the ground by the small-membered Germans in WWII, and like most things around here, was rebuilt. It is home to a UNESCO listed photography exhibition called the Family Of Man, by some guy I've never heard of. It was also closed, but I must say that I wasn't too excited by it's prospect - if I was inspirational human photographs, I'll just go buy one of those MILK birthday cards that you get at newsagents with the photos of old people bonding on them.
Nonetheless, ditching the castle, we then aimed for the next listing in the Lonely Planet/Bible, and headed for the Benedictine Abbey perched up on the hill. The lonely planet promised us gregorian chanting at 1130 in the morning. By jove, this must be a tourist trap, we thought! To be honest the walk up there was absolutely beautiful, and quite cold too. We sallied forth through a forest showered in leaves and smelling of pine,
Chateau Clervaux
Clervaux, Luxembourg but once we got there there was not a soul to be seen, not a gregorian chant note to be heard. It was, amazingly, closed AND under construction. There's nothing quite like the sound of construction workers farting in the morning air to give you that real monkish feel. We rolled back into town and checked out a church at a last attempt at feigning interest, which was crap. We checked out a campsite in the middle of town - closed. We'd had enough by that stage and made a bolt for Vianden, which promised more of the same.
Our first impression of Vianden was the most dramatic sunset I've seen since Thailand. Not only was it the most vivid pink I've ever seen the sky before, but silhouetted against the colour was Chateau Vianden, perched high on a promontory overlooking it's minion buildings below, and a few little windows glowing in it's side to complete the picture. We pulled over straight away and gaped. There's no other way to describe it. I managed to stop staring long enough to take a few photos; one of which you will notice is the header photo in our blog, and for good
reason.
The town attached to the castle didn't fail to disappoint. Aside from the fact that, like most of the little towns in this part of the world at this time of year, it was a complete ghost town when we turned up. It's a little strange driving a van covered in pink and green graffiti and the word “WICKED” written across the front of it into a town with a population of 1400. In the summertime, maybe the summer inhabitants might dig it. But for those old folk who are permanent residents and those sticklers who are in for the long haul of winter... oh baby. You might as well ride in on a Galapagos tortoise, naked, with your hair died purple and a big sign that says “Michael Bolton is my father” in glitterspray. Anyway, we made for the local pub called (wait for it) THE VICTOR HUGO! Apparently every street, pub, wheelbarrow and dog in Lux and France is called the Victor Hugo in some way. They love the guy, and I've never read a thing of his. I must attend to that discrepancy at some stage. We snarfed a couple of Diekrich Christmas beers (from
just down the road) while I blogged and Aleks put up her feet and rested with a good book. See what I mean? I'm working hard here.
An early night under a streetlight in free parking lot led to an early start next day, and after getting ready, Aleks was adamant that it was her turn to drive. An hour later, we were still doing doughnuts in the carpark, with Aleks arguing with Sean about whether Vianden actually existed or not. We got stuck on a one way road on the side of a hill that provided no space to turn around, complete with laughing locals. After I yelled a big “Ha ha ha! Funny!” as rudely as possible to them, I backed all the way up the hill, we got lost again, and had an argument. Aleks and Sean haven't spoken since. We said “stuff you, Chateau Vianden” and instead saved our €6.50 and drove to it's bigger and badder cousin, Chateau Borscheid, halfway down the country...You heard me right, HALF WAY DOWN THE COUNTRY. It took us 20 minutes to drive there. HA! No wonder they feel insecure about the size of the place.
I would
also like to let you know that Aleks just ate the rest of my tabouli, that I was carefully leaving for my last hunger pangs tonight, and I'm going to starve to death. I hope she's happy. This is what I get for my arduous labour. No wait, I've just been advised that if I finish the measly scraps she's left, I'll be given a carrot if I'm a good boy. My breath smells like a Greek's armpit and I have a carrot to last the night. Great. Oh, no wait, now she's LOST my carrot.
Chateau Borscheid is toted by the Lonely Planet as the place to go in Lux if you want epic 360-degree views of some unbelievable countryside. As we drove up the very steep, very winding road to the peak on which the castle sits, a lovely fog descended. Over the WHOLE countryside. It was time for tea and biscuits at that stage, but not having any biscuits and a crap kettle, we drank lukewarm tea and took silhouette photos of the castle.
The fog lifted half and hour later and the sun came out a little, and for €5 we were treated to
Misty Chateau
Chateau de Bourscheid, Luxembourg a wonderful audioguide-driven tour of the ruined castle. Sitting 170m above the valleys around it, Borscheid was finished in around 1384 and had an impressive double-ring wall around it with 19 watchtowers. We climbed up the keep, and down into the dungeons and marvelled at the giant cistern 34 metres deep into the naked rock. The view is, all jokes aside, absolutely astounding. We sat on the 10m high walls for a little while and looked over the valley of the River Sure, and felt a little blessed. We were the only ones there the whole time. That was Borscheid done then after an hour or so, and we left with a real sense of finding a diamond in the rough. I'm sure that this part of the world has the most insane number of tourists arriving in Summer, but to be the only ones around the top of a hill crowned by an ancient castle is a truly privileged experience.
The evening was spent driving down the rest of the way to Echternach, a city on the border between Lux and Germany. I personally was looking forward to this place, but it turned out to be a bit
Fishy Nearing The Tower
Chateau de Bourscheid, Luxembourg of an anticlimax and a bad call on my behalf, seeing as I insisted we visit it. It was very new-looking apart from a few ancient crumbling town walls, and filled with tourist shops to boot. Apparently it's a great gateway to the surrounding hiking/trailwalking countryside, but at this time of year, no-one really gives a shit about that. It's all about restaurants and staring out your windows. We walked across the border to Germany, got some photos, saw a pizza place, and got back in the car and left. That night we drove to a truck stop out of Lux City itself, and had a fitful sleep.
The previous night we had seen a Park & Ride on our way to the truck stop. This is a very novel idea for a couple of Australians, as we don't have Park & Rides at home. This is where you park your car in a big carpark in the morning or whenever, and pay a small fee to take the bus into town, thereby reducing the number of vehicles in the major metropolitan areas. Great idea we reckon! We dumped the car in the free parking, and took the bus
A View Over The Countryside
Chateau de Bourscheid, Luxembourg (€1.20 each) 15 minutes to the centre, where we got off on Franklin D. Roosevelt drive (they're still extolling the virtues of the yanks after the war, and rightly so I suppose)
Holy. Mother. Of. God.
That's all I could think for the first hour after stepping off the bus in the middle of Lux City itself. If I had thought that the rest of the places that I'd seen in Luxembourg were fairytale, this one topped it all off. The boulevard we stepped onto was on the edge of what seemed a sheer cliff face that dropped steeply into a river valley below. But the river valley wasn't just rocks and junk-bound, it was carefully crafted into a beautiful walk-by-the-river path surrounded by manicured lawns and gardens. The terraces lining the overlooking escarpments were simple but totally picturesque, with little bench seats and winter-stripped trees, all atop castle-like walls. I do it no justice with my peasant descriptions, it was truly staggering. The main part of the old town sits in the middle of two valleys carved by once rushing rivers, and to the surrounding suburbs they are connected by some very, VERY high arched bridges reminiscent
of ancient Roman aquaducts. It's just... look, as I just said, I can't describe it. It's the most fairytale place I've ever been. See photos.
Wandering around town for a couple of hours that morning, we saw the standard-issue Catedrale du Notre Dame first. It's amaing how no-one actually builds any churches or monuments to Jesus or God here, but only Mary and various Saints... Of which there are literally THOUSANDS. I reckon all you had to do to become a Saint back then was read the bible. We went to the Marché Noel and had fondue, asian noodles (?!) and gluhwein, and scarpered around the various guildhall lined squares in the new town area.
We also made our way out to the Bock Casemates, which are tunnels and caves dug into the rock by the Spaniards back in the 17th century, for reasons unknown. This particular rocky outcrop was closed, amazing, but afforded us a view over the Corniche, aka The Old Town. This area was on the backside of the New Town cliff, and was scattered with hundreds of ancient houses and archways, all bearing testament to the amazing, stolid and unsurrendering workmanship of those who
You Can See Far And Wide
Chateau de Bourscheid, Luxembourg built the city. We ended up going to a bar in the newer areas with free wifi near the bus stop, and we had a couple of beers and uploaded some blogs and photos.By that point we decided that it was my turn to get drunk and Aleks' turn to drive. Yay me. We got the bus back to the P & R, and then drove to a servo for the night.
I have to say, Luxembourg is my favourite city of all so far. If you ever get the chance to go there, don't overlook it. The small country is hiding, by far, the biggest punch in terms of places that will blow your mind the second you look at it.
The next day it was Frenchy time! We woke up with a bee in our underwear and made a bolt for the border. Number one priority, however, was laundry. We had no socks, no undies, no tea-towels. No ANYTHING. We had chosen Metz as our destination purely for the sake of accessibility to a laundromat in a big town. We crossed the border, albeit a little gingerly as there were still the remnants of the pre-EU
scary border patrol setup. SLOW DOWN, the signs said. BORDER AHEAD, they said. I reckon it would take a month just to get back into the buildings for all the weeds around. In my fit of terror about French armed guards, we missed all the French border signs and so didn't get any photos AGAIN. Crap.
I mentioned that we had chosen Metz for laundry, but boy were we wrong in doing so. As we drove into France the first impressions of the area were very industrial, lots of smoke/steam stacks, factories and trucks. The speed limits kept going up and down and not just for exits, they were all over the place. Here is a part of the world that the French RTA had forgotten. We hit the town and were immediately amazed at how pretty it was. Parking in the Cathedrale underground parking, we walked upstairs to a view of one of the most amazing Gothic-architectural Cathedrals we'd seen. We wandered in there for a while, then made our way to the Tourist Info centre to locate a laundromat. One was quickly found, and we did our laundry in style eating some boulangerie fare and reading up
A Village Square
Echternach, Luxembourg on where to go. I also managed to finally get hold of a French SIM card, although I must say it was a bit of a rip off. €9.90 including €5 credit. Anyway, my Sydney parents called, we finished our washing, then wandered through the Marché Couvert and looked at all the nice French foods they had to offer; a quiche Lorraine was bought for dinner, as we felt we had to sample what it REALLY tastes like over here. And BEST QUICHE EVER!
The next step we took was to Epernay in the Champagne region. Aleks was very excited about visiting the area, and after a bit of picking and choosing we decided on Epernay over Reims and Troyes. This was always going to be quite high up the to do list. We certainly drove through a great deal of vineyards as we drew closer to the destination, but upon reaching the town, we found the main street (aptly named Avenue Du Champagne) a ghost street. There was one car every five minutes. All the Champagne houses - Moet & Chandon, were there for sure, but like Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, the remained mysteriously closed. Aleks was a
little disheartened, and the wander into town was rather fruitless too, as it just seemed like a little tourist hub geared to the summer seasons and big crowds. Not only that, it seemed quite... how can I say it... soulless? It just didn't FEEL like the Champagne region. It was like a giant hospital, all clean and neat and nothing rustic or old-looking.
Nonetheless, we were going to do a tasting tour by hook or by crook. We jacked the Tourist Info for ideas, and after considering Moet's €14 tour and deciding we'd tried it before, we went for Mercier up the road. Mercier is one of, if not the most popular champagne in France, and we had never heard of nor tried it. So off we went to the place, and were greeted upon entry with the biggest freakin' barrel we've ever seen. We're talking super, SUPER huge. The bloke who created Mercier designed it for the 1889 World's Fair in Paris. It was so big it had to be pulled by 18 oxen and 32 horses and took 7 days to get to Paris from Epernay. They had to knock houses down and widen roads and bridges
Ah, The Gourmet Food
Near Echternach, Luxembourg for it. Google it, seriously, it's amazing. We got our tickets for €8.50 each and went in as the only two Anglo's on our tour with a beautiful Dutch girl called Camille. We watched a short AV presentation on how the company was started, then went down to the cellars via a very slow glass elevator trip: complete with more displays and models built into the sides of the elevator shaft. It was a bit kitsch, but kinda cool.
Once we reached the cellars we were thrown into a LASER-GUIDED TRAIN. I'm not kidding, it was like something out of Star Wars. I wasn't allowed to take flash photos to the front, lest the train run askew and smash some ancient bottles of wine. Whilst on the train tour we saw part of the 18km of underground tunnels dug out back when they founded the place. It was awesome - we got to see big mechanical riddlers responsible for turning the wine, carvings and statues, and lots more. We also learnt a lot more about the process of creating Champagne, and why it's the only place in the world that can use the trademarked name we flippantly apply to
all bottles of bubbly wine. It's a really amazing process, and too long to write about here, but suffice to say a lot of work goes into it. Once finished with the tour we went back upstairs and were treated to a special glass of 2008 Mercier Cuvee Eugene Mercier Brut, which was really fantastic. We had a look at some of the sizes the bottles come in - up to 15L, called a Nebuchadnosor! Never knew that. All in all the hour and a bit was totally worth it, and we learned a lot. That was the end of our trip to Epernay, and it was time to go to Paris!
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