Aleks & Fish vs. Paris

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Welcome again viewers... Seeing as the Fish decided that he couldn't remember all the places we went to in Paris, it's my job to get this little story across.

After leaving Epernay, we stopped in yet another truck stop to the east of Paris, ready to do the final stint early the next morning, and happily all went to plan. And things so rarely do that we were quite chuffed. Rather than try to commute to and from Paris each day, we decided to lash out and stay in a camping ground. There is one right in town - on the Seine, a 10 minute bus ride from Porte Maillot and for the bargain price of €21.50 per night we were in (this is Paris after all...). So we drove in on Saturday morning, checked into the camp ground and bolted right for town. Nemo had decreed that it would be best to buy a 3 day travel pass for €20, but I said “nonsense! We can walk everywhere!”.

And we did. Oh God, we did. My thighs are looking fabulous!

So we caught the bus into Porte Maillot and began our walking tour from there. Well, first we got a little lost and couldn't find the road we were looking for, but then the Avenue de la Grande Armee got found and we followed it straight down to the Arc De Triomphe. This mammoth structure and it's crazy roundabout (Place Charles de Gaulle or Place de l'Etoile) wasn't quite as terrifying as last time I saw it. All 8000 lanes of roundabout traffic still existed but there were bypasses that all sane people were taking so there wasn't the tooting and hooting that I remembered from before. Nonetheless, Nemo was well impressed how a structure like the roundabout managed to function with absolutely no traffic rules enforced at all.

We took the underground passageway up to the centrepiece of the Arc itself and stood about with all the other tourists, marvelling at the detail carved in the stonework of this 19th century structure, commissioned by Napoleon himself. We were soon bored with all of that hullabaloo and after staring down the Champs Elysees and humming the tune to ourselves (didn't know the words anyway):

“Oooh Champs Elysees la la la la la, Oooooh Champs Elysees la la la la la”...

We followed Avenue Hoche leading off the roundabout, through the Parc de Monceau and onto Pigalle - one of Paris' two red light districts. The reasons we came here were twofold: to see the Moulin Rouge (did that) and to make the pilgrimage to the little flat where I lived with my folks and my darling Aunt sometime back in the 80's when we were between Poland and Oz. If you follow Rue Lepic up hill (buy Vietnamese Rolls enroute), past all of the delicious epiceries, chacuteries, boulangeries and Vietnamese restaurants, you'll find a petite street called Rue Robert Planquette. Even though my memories of this time of my life are obviously few and shady at that, there is a little bit of nostalgia when I come back here. I just had to do it. The area is brilliant too - not at all seedy by day and filled with brilliant shops (as already mentioned) as well and bars and cafes. I could totally live here again...

Anyway, enough with the strolls down memory lane, and up some hills for us. We wandered up... and up... and up... Little did we know that this was to be the theme for our whole time in Paris (and onward). Finally we arrived at one of the places I thought Nemo would enjoy most about his time in Paris: the Basilique du Sacre Coeur. I'm not sure why the Fish has developed such an affinity for churches along the way - not being religious and all. But anywhere he can find one, he's in, so I figured this one would make an impression. Sitting on top of the hill and looking out over all of Paris, the Basilica is a fine example of the extreme ostentatiousness of Paris. There is nothing demure about the place - it is gigantic in size as well as in grandness (is that a word?). But it is certainly beautiful, and with buskers entertaining along it's stairways, we tried to recreate a photo taken of me when I was 2, on these very same steps. Again it was littered with tourists, but it didn't seem to matter very much.

After gazing over the panorama of Paris and playing a fruitless game of 'Eye Spy', we relied on my memory to get us back down to Montmartre and the Place du Tertre - the famous square in Bohemian Montmartre where artists are poised and ready to draw your portrait, or a caricature of you, or perhaps even a cut out silhouette (totally better than they sound). As opposed to so much of the tourist trail that we had seen before, it was really amusing to see how lax these artists were when it came to recruiting customers. No spiel, no attempt to win your business, just sitting about (perhaps napping) and waiting for some tourist to come along and request their services. Not a bad life for an artist, I guess. After doing a few doughnuts of this most Parisian of places, Nemo and I headed back towards town... on foot again.

By this stage we were already tired but as there was still some daylight left we felt we had to make the most of it. Daylight is a rare commodity in Europe in winter so we really do appreciate it when we have it. We trotted down to the Galleries Lafayette - an infamous department store in Paris. Not our usual haunt (I need no additional temptations to spend money) but seeing as it is Christmas time, the store has the most gorgeous tree in the middle of it and the layout of the main building in really incredible. Which was fortunate, as due to Xmas Fever, it was packed to the brim and Fishy wasn't coping with the crowds (damn straight I wasn't coping, this country shouldn't let it's citizens have cars if they can't even walk around the streets without being idiots). But the balconies inside were lit to match the tasteful decorations on the giant tree. It really is a 'should see' in Paris.

Next to the Galleries is the beautiful Opera of Paris. We had hoped to get a closer look but due to the crowds, we could barely get across the road, so we opted for making our way to a less busy area. We strolled towards Madeleine and then decided to go for a beer. Nemo didn't want to sit at the bar and so we sat at a table. And for one small bottle of local beer (250mL Pelforth) and a pint of Belgian beer (Grimberger) we paid... wait for it... €15.80. To sit at a table you're paying almost double the price as it includes an enormous service surcharge. Sure did learn a lesson there. We didn't dare have another drink in a bar the whole time we were in Paris.

As dusk approached we made it to Place de la Concorde. Nemo remained incredulous at the French displaying a real, original Egyptian obelisk when “it should have stayed in Egypt, the thieving bastards”. The obelisk is over 3300 years old and used to stand at the temple of Ramses at Thebes. It is made out of pink granite and is just so impressive.

We made our way across to the Christmas markets that lined the Champs Elysees and after a cup of vin chaud (hot spiced wine - delicious), we started to make our way home... to The Ark that was waiting for us faithfully at the campsite. A quick bite of dinner was cooked in the rain (as always) and we then retired to the drawing room to read (i.e. sat on top of our sleeping bags) and eventually to the bedroom (got into the bags and locked the car).

The next day was the 6th of December and we had known for months that it was going to be a big one. This is because, ladies and gents, on the first Sunday of the month, many of Paris' tourist attractions are free. Between the months of November and March, this becomes nearly all of Paris' main attractions with the exception of the Eiffel Tower. As we're not really big museum people, this cut down the list of must sees of us considerably, but it nevertheless left us with a massive day ahead. So to save time we made a packed lunch, bought a day travel pass for €9 each and hopped on the metro to get around town.

Oh, and for those of you who have never travelled to Europe and even those who think London's Tube is great, Paris' Metro beats them all. A train arrived every 3-5 minutes and I don't think it took us longer than about 15 mins to get anywhere in Paris.

The first stop that day was the Pantheon. This 18th century structure was up there with the stunning frescoes lining the walls. Thought the crypts held the tombs of greats like Voltaire, the Curies, Rousseau and Victor Hugo, I must say that they left us feeling a little... uncreeped. They were so clean and well lit that there was nothing tomb like about them at all. Oh well - it was free! Onward and upward.

We walked past the Sorbonne University and through the Latin Quarter on our way to Notre Dame - the stunning Gothic cathedral built between the 12th and 14th centuries. The freebie here today was entrance to the towers to see the Ile de la Cite from above. But therein be warned bargain hunters. By joining in on free day in Paris, you are condemning yourself to crowds and queues, queues and crowds. So we gave the tower a miss and joined the queue to get into the cathedral instead. After having been in England we were quite adept at waiting in line, so happily did so. (Bullshit, I was grumbling about it the whole time)

Inside the cathedral it was chaos - it was Sunday, mass had begun and tourists were flocking throughout as well. Nemo kept getting bumped and pushed so he couldn't get the low light photos he wanted. But for me, this is still the most beautiful of all the churches we have been in so far. The stained glass rosettes and long windows are incomparable and watching the mass go ahead - singing and all - sent shivers down my spine...

NA - Aleks is outside... I would like to interject here and make a few comments of my own. Firstly, I certainly bloody well can remember all the places in Paris, but here's my train of thought: I believe that in order for you to really feel at home in a place, you have to have some sort of emotional, historical or educational connection to it. I know that Aleks lived here, spoke French, and had family here, and so on, but Paris was nothing to me until I arrived here. I like it, for sure, but Aleks loves it. Therefore the blog is going to come out way better if she writes it. Secondly, if YOU had the opportunity to spend the money on getting a 3 day ticket instead of walking 20km a day, or spending MORE on individual tickets, you may just well change your mind. Look, I'm glad we walked due to the amount of little side streets and other bits and pieces that we saw, but my feet are still mad at me, as are my knees, and my bum cheeks. I'm getting old and regretting my previous sporting career choices.

Lastly, I think Aleks is doing a great job, and is yelling at me, so I'll recede back into the shadows and...

So anyway where was I before I was so rudely interrupted... Notre Dame... So we took a walk around the cathedral, had some lunch on a bench overlooking the Seine and Hotel de Ville and then walked down to the Louvre which was also free today. Only to find a 2 ½ hour wait circling the pyramid and right down the side of the palace. We decided to give it a miss for now and jumped on the metro instead to Eglise St Germaine Des Prés - the oldest church in Paris and what was the main one before Notre Dame's construction. It was amazing - so well preserved and cosy with it's dark coloured themes of red, blue and green. And better still - no tourists! Apart from us that is. Then it was off to the Catacombes, where thousands of Paris' dead were buried in kilometres of tunnels when the city ran out of space in cemeteries, and the tunnels are now littered with their bones. Or so the guidebook said, as when we got there we saw a sign on the building saying that due to vandalism the Catacombes were closed until further notice. Not to worry - we had a quick espresso for some pep (sat at the bar so €2.40 for both) and got back on the metro and off to the Ile de la Cite again for the Place de la Justice and the Conciergerie. This was a 14th century palace and later a prison which housed, among others, Marie Antoinette before her execution. It also has one of the most grand and well preserved medieval halls in all of France and was well worth seeing.

Being the determined scummy backpackers that we are, we decided to make a second attempt at the Louvre. We had a heads up that rather than queue outside the pyramid with all the other plebs, we should instead catch the metro and follow the Musée Louvre signs to the secret underground entrance. And it worked! Within 10 minutes of getting in line, we were in. Now, it has been estimated that to see everything in the Louvre, you would need about 9 months. We had about 4 hours. So we were off and running. We fought through the crowds and used our height and elbows to our advantage to see to Mona Lisa and then embarked on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle tour of the museum - we only missed Donatello but got Michaelangelo, Raphael and Leonardo. We saw the Venus de Milo and eventually made our way down to the Ancient Greek, Roman, Egyptian displays. And it was incredible. I won't tell you everything we saw, but we covered 3 out of 4 floors and 2 out of 3 wings. It was the best we could do but have to say: see it - the museum itself is so lovely without including any of the priceless treasures inside of it. Despite not being museum buffs, we were totally blown away by what we saw, even in such a short time.

NA - On the way home we were delighted to find a standard-issue bum on the street, however instead of stinking and pushing a trolley, this one was selling roasted chestnuts! As he stuffed 10 or 12 of them into a piece of rolled newspaper with his grubby digits, Aleks positively foamed at the mouth, while I raised an eyebrow. To be sure, they were great, but the strangest taste ever! I put em in my pocket and was still eating them 2 hours later, as only a fish could do.

Exhausted after our day of skiving free stuff and ready for bed and another day, we headed for home and drank the last of our Belgian beer, made some dinner and did some laundry (which I had to leave in overnight as they closed on me halfway through the cycle). But a great day was had by all. And all the better as it was all... absolutely... free...

The next day we promised ourselves a nice quiet day of strolling around. Ha! If only...

Admittedly we left the campsite late as I had to dry the laundry that had been sitting in the machine overnight while Nemo caught up on some blogging and photo sorting. We got out of there at about 11am and took the bus then metro into Cimetiere Du Pere Lachaise. This cemetery must be one of the most famous in the world, with Jim Morrison (of The Doors), Oscar Wilde, Edith Piaf, Chopin, Balzac and such buried there. The funny thing is, that even armed with a map the graves aren't so easy to find and you can see tourists wandering around on a ghoulish treasure hunt. Our trick was to stand back and wait for them to traipse through the mud and find the booty, before following along, with Nemo munching on his beloved Vietnamese rice paper rolls the whole time. While we were in Poland, my uncle told me that my great-grandfather was buried in one of the big cemeteries in Paris and I'd hoped it was this one, but I checked in with the conservation office and they said that there was no one by the name of Renes there. Oh well... After an hour and a half of wandering through the drizzle, we'd had enough and decided to move on and headed back onto the metro and back into town.

Nemo spotted an internet cafe and bolted straight for it. And yet again we were faced with crap internet, that was slow and kept crashing. Dead set, we've had better speed using the free Wi-Fi at fast food joints. So the Fish promptly got in a strop after paying €3 for half an hour where we got nothing done and we left, wandering down past the Opera again and on our way to the Jardin Des Tuileries - the formal gardens at the front of the Louvre. When you look behind you, you can see the palace of the Louvre with its own Arc, and ahead of you there is the Obelisk and Champs Elysees, heading towards the Arc de Triomphe. It is just the most gorgeous place to stand and absorb the views around you as the city hustles. We wandered up the Champs Elysees for a bit and at the Christmas markets, Nemo decided he was hungry... again... And no, he did not want a crepe! He wanted something more solid than that. He wanted meat and that was all there was to it. So we wandered past 50 stalls selling crepes and waffles and sausages, looking for meat. Finally B-I-N-G-O. Fishy struck the jackpot. Grilled pork fillet on a skewer that was popped back into some hot oil to toast it up a little and placed into a baguette with a very healthy helping of caramelised onions. Oh, and while I just had an onion soup, Nemo also got one for dessert. Complete with lump of gooey cheese at the bottom. We found a park bench to dine at, and after making a royal mess we decided to continue our journey, the Fishy high on protein.

NA - I would like to point out that although the author would have you believe that I am feeding myself fat whilst she starves, ask her how many pain au chocolat she's eaten in the last three weeks. I rest my case.

We strolled further down the Champs Elysees and then down the Avenue Montaigne, where you can find almost every fashion house that matters, lining the street. Dior, Chanel, Yves Saint Laurent, Valentino, Hermes, Louis Vuitton, Jimmy Choo, Armani, Versace and so on. Needless to say, we window shopped only as we were fairly certain they wouldn't even let the likes of us past the door. And we were in our Paris best and all!

We crossed the Seine and for this trip we didn't actually need to use the map to find our way, as we were heading for the Eiffel Tower. The tower stands over all of Paris and we could even see it from our campsite. It is all the more obvious at night when it is lit up by floodlights, with disco lights on the hour, every hour. Although it was branded a monstrosity when it was first built for the 1889 World Fair, it now seems that Paris couldn't be the city that it is without the tower dominating the skyline. And I really maintain that it is at its most spectacular at night. Even Nemo - the anti-Parisian - was suitably impressed when we finally made it to the base of the tower, at twilight. And once more we were surrounded by eleventy billion tourists queuing. But, they were lining up to get the lift up the tower, for €8.50. So, we cleverly decided to test the limits of our endurance by taking the stairs instead, for €4.50. No problem, we said! Halfway up to the first level, I was rethinking my decision. I was feeling the burn, to say the least. The very least...

But we continued onward and upward, and up, and up. Finally we made it to the first level and it was worth every step. It is stunning up there. We could see all around the city, and it was dark which meant that the city of lights was at its best. It also gave us a better appreciation of how far we'd walked over the past few days. Sacre Coeur was miles away, at the top of a distant hill, the Pantheon was way over on another horizon, and Porte Maillot was barely visible.

We were so blown away by the view, that we forgot how much it was going to hurt to continue up the steps and went for the second floor. Oh the burn! But we made it to the second floor and were once again floored by the view. I'm not sure how long we spent up there (and it was chilly to say the least) but we were quite content to just do loops of the platform gazing out onto this most beautiful of cities. We took loads of photos and I don't think we've had such brilliant subject matter in all our travels. We couldn't get to the top of the tower, which Nemo was very disappointed about, but the vista was nonetheless nothing short of magnificent. Finally, as frost bite threatened to set it, we went to head down the stairs to level one. No problem. But when we went for the stairs to the bottom we realised that they were closed. So how do we get down? We haven't paid for the lift and it's going to be a chilly night if we have to wait for the stairs to re-open tomorrow. We asked a security dude and he said we could get into the totally overcrowded lift-carriage thing. So we lined up for that, fortified ourselves against pickpockets and squished in with all of the other punters. A few seconds later we were down the bottom and being accosted by the dudes selling neon Eiffel Tower souvenirs as we headed for the metro. After climbing the tower, we didn't have it in us to walk to the bus stop. And so we headed back to the camping ground, slept a sound and exhausted sleep, and woke the next day to continue the French leg of our trip.

We waved a fond goodbye to the city of romance, the city of lights, my favourite city: Paris.

I'll be back.

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Photos

Now That's Photography
The Eiffel Tower, Paris, France

The Mammoth Arc De Triomphe
Paris, France

ADT & ET, OK?
Place Charles De Gaulle, Paris, France

Aleks Dodging Traffic
Place Charles De Gaulle, Paris, France

Audi vs. BMW Reversing War!
Avenue Hoche, Paris, France

Sacre Coeur Looms
Avenue Hoche, Paris, France

Aleks Needed Mopping After This
Avenue Hoche, Paris, France

The Red Windmill
Pigalle, Paris, France

Aleks' Old Home Street
Off Pigalle, Paris, France

Sacre Bleu! Sacre Coeur
Paris, France

He Was Damn Good, For A Russian
Sacre Coeur, Paris, France

The Recreated Photo
Sacre Coeur, Paris, France

Hazy Shade Of Winter
Sacre Coeur, Paris, France

Viva La Resistance!
Sacre Coeur, Paris, France

Place Du Tertre: Arty!
Montmartre, Paris, France

This Guy: Talented!
Montmarte, Paris, France

Galeries Lafayette Tree
Bloated, Extravagant Paris, France

More Money Flowing
Opulent Self Loved Paris, France

Am I In Greece?
Paris, France

Getting Parking Tickets: Cheaper Than Parking Fees
Paris, France

Giant Ferris Wheel
Place De La Concorde, Paris, France