It's Been Awhile

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Apparently I took quite a hiatus from writing, almost a month it seems. Once again I seemed to have gotten sidetracked and caught up in the busy routine which is day-to-day life (haha). Even in Italy, it seems that the daily schedule is one packed full to the brim and always keeping me running here and there. I do appreciate that however, it is good to know that even on the other side of the globe people seem to go about their lives in the same hectic attitude that we do back at home. A reminder that no matter where you are, when it comes down to it, things aren't really as different as we think they might be.

And along with this, is the reality that back at home, life also continues at the same pace. Whether it be for one reason or another, there comes along the moment where you have to sit back and reflect on where you are currently, and where it is you really need to be. For me right now, that is at home in Canada. And sadly therefore this chapter in Italy is about to come to a close for me. Sooner than expected, but with no regrets and a smile on my face. It's the feeling of people in the right place, at the wrong time. And right now there is a much more important place that I need to be. With my family, spending the moments together that really matter. For when we look back on our lifetime, it will be those last cherished memories with a loved one that really account for how we spent our lives. Sadly, I regret to say that for me, I fear I am about to lose one of the most special people in my life, my Opa. We all know that as our grandparents age, each day we get to spend with them is a blessing. A man that has helped raise me and has taught me more than I can ever express to him.

Each journey and trip we take in our lifetime only adds to our own personal growth and experience. Yet the funny thing is, listening to the stories and adventures of others can sometimes provide us with the very same knowledge. For years I listened to Opa ramble on with "Back in my day.." sagas, and not always did I fully appreciate the things he was trying to tell me. Well, I get it now. He was simply reliving his own successes and failures, imparting in me the wisdom that he himself had gained from years of travel and hardship. When we are young, we really are just that stubborn that we feel we need to figure it all out on our own. I did not know what moving to Italy would bring me, to be honest I had no idea at all. I really did believe that perhaps I would come here and find the life I had been searching for. I packed my bags, bought that one way ticket, and away I went.

It has been one of the most intense four months of my life, that is without question. I learned more than I thought I would, I met extraordinary people in ordinary places. I had some highs, and I certainly had some lows. But it was all worth it in the end simply to have done it. I do feel some sadness about returning home before I had planned, but I can proudly say I know that it is the right decision to make. I could stay here in Venice for an entire lifetime I am sure, wandering the narrows streets and forever getting lost amongst the tiny islands. But for me, what is important right now is to return home to spend whatever time I have left with a man that has lived his own life to the fullest. Will I second guess my decision to have left? Sure, I know I will. In fact it was one of the hardest choices I have had to make throughout this process. But if I did not return I would much more regret the fact that I let this time slip away. As I said previously, travel and adventure is not going anywhere. I can pack my bags again in a few months and be off on another adventure if I so chose. That is the beauty of the freedom of life. But for once in my life, I know exactly where I need to be right now.

I will miss waking up to the sound of church bells, the strangely comforting whine of the European sirens. I will miss the full-strength black Italian espresso in the morning, and enjoying a gelato staring out at the turquoise waters of the canals. But what I will miss more in a few months time, is the sound of my Opa's belly laugh. Those endless stories of the retelling of his childhood. In a few months time the fresh memories I have of this city will fade slightly. Although I know in my heart it will always be remembered as the place where I found myself again. And that is something I will always cherish. But life moves on, and so I must as well. It is funny how in the face of sadness and sorrow, there is always a light to be found. My sister is also about to have a new baby, and how could I ever have thought to miss that special event just to live in a foreign place somewhere? At a time when there will be loss, there will also be joy and the birth of a new beautiful little boy or girl. It is bittersweet really. A strange reality which I hope will help us all to ease the pain of the moment. Life ends, life begins. It seems so simple, but as we are humans overflowing with emotions it is truly far more complicated.

Grazie mille Italy, for all that you have given me and shown me. I still have another few weeks here and hope to spend them to the absolute fullest seeing whatever I can possibly see. There is perhaps Napoli/Pompeii this weekend, Florence the next, and then Rome for the finale. Where I will fly back home to Canada.. that is the other interesting thing about being faced with immortality. There is no greater force to get you up off your butt and see the world for what it is. The next three weeks may be a draining whirlwind of travel, but I wouldn't have it any other way. And when I leave this country I want to know that I made the most of my time here. Shortened as it may be, I will go home knowing that I came here and achieved exactly what I did not know I would. To be happy again. And to just live life for what it is, an unpredictable, whirlwind adventure.

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