Who Would Have Thought..

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So 9:30 AM rolls around, and for the fourth day in a row my body has awoken, without any particular reason for doing so. Although today I actually remained in bed and felt the usual "I really don't want to get out of bed this morning.." feeling come over me, I realized that for once it wasn't brought on by a lazy or pessimistic attitude. I just genuinely wanted to savour those precious last moments of still-warm blankets nestled around me. And I almost laughed to myself thinking, why would this make me lazy anyways? I don't have anywhere else in the world I need to be at this very moment. So why would I ever rush of bed to be greeted by the chilly air and the (seemingly impossible) task of brewing a piping hot pot of espresso. And so I, without being ashamed to admit it, laid in bed for almost a whole hour doing absolutely nothing! Wow. Now you try that yourself one morning and tell me it does not making you feel almost giddy with the rare experience of simply, enjoying the very moment you are in.

I do not know what has truly changed for me in the last several days, whether I have finally forced a sense of positivity to come. But all I know is that after the events of Wednesday evening, meeting such incredible people and sharing such an "unextraordinary", "typical" evening, I realized that even in the most humble of situations there is so much beauty to behold. And that when we are in a happy place in our lives, it is only possible that good things come our way. I feel like I have literally spent the majority of the last three years of my life living with blinders on. Enduring some unfortunate life experiences was something unavoidable for me, as I know it has been and still is for many of you. We cannot always understand what cards we are dealt in life, but what I do know now is that we are only given as much as we can handle!! Even if in the moment our whole world feels like it is crashing down upon us. Even if the light at the end of the dark tunnel is completely nonexistant. No matter how bad it seems, the reality is.. if its already that terrible, there is an even greater chance for improvement. If you are already at rock bottom, the laws of physics even state there is no where else to go but up!

And with that realization, and more "enlightening" conversation than I have had in months, the last few days I have felt in myself a true change for the better. I feel like I have a sense of empowerment right now, the ability to do anything and everything in the world. For the first time in a very long time, I am PROUD to be me. I am the master of my own future and destiny. A big part of that is a thanks to all of you who have been reading these last few blogs, and your response has literally given me a sense of renewed confidence that I will never be able to fully express. Writing has always been a passion of mine. Ever since I was a child I have been told "words are your gift". But over the years, as I grew up and life's distractions got in the way, or there were "better things to do with my time" I slowly slipped away from that desire to write and express my thoughts through the form of the written language. In a strange way, the less I wrote, the more I also lost touch with myself. I forgot who I really was as a person and what mattered to me. I let all the negative things in the world come in a powerful position in my reality. I got so caught up in the "crap" that I forgot how to be simply happy.. in the SIMPLE things. Life really is that easy in a strange way. We only feel as depressed or frustrated as we allow ourselves to feel. I'm not saying that in an instant you can change your whole reality and way of being. Not at all, I think that as humans we are truly a "work-in-progress" for our whole lives. But I feel like I am starting to get it at least. I know that tomorrow I may feel miserable about something. Or next week I may receive some bad news about something. But I am hopeful in believing that I am now going out in to the world with a new perspective on these situations at least. And I also now know, that I DO have the power to overcome those challenges.

I did the flippin Camino after all! haha. That was a physical challenge unlike nothing I have ever experienced, and I will never lose that euphoric feeling was arriving to Santiago de Compostela and knowing, I did this. I completed this journey. Both the mental and the physical. No one can ever take that away from me. It will live in me forever. And although that was an unrealistic circumstance, a rare chance in life to experience something so intense. But the point is, achieving our goals & dreams is an amazing feeling! This is how I feel about my writing at this very moment. I feel like it has taken me a few years to begin again, but in the last 3 days I have written more than I have in the past several months. And with the feedback I have gotten from all of you, I am starting to feel like maybe my last name might be more significant than I ever realized. I am not just Brittany Reiter. Today I also feel like Brittany, Writer. And by jolly what a feeling that is let me tell you!!!!

So my fresh piece of personal wisdom (and who am I to give advice, I know..) but.. remain passionate about something! Because when all else fails, the simple power of "confidence" or, that "wow, I am actually good at something!" feeling, seems to me to make all the difference in the world. We all just want to matter, whether to the world, or even just to one person. But when we know that we have positivity impacted even one person in any small way, or that anyone has gained something of value from what we have given them. With that sense of accomplishment and gratitude, there is nothing we cannot do! We have the power to attain anything we desire. And maybe little by little, that is how we can all do our part to change the world we live in for the better. Instead of living simply for the sake of living, maybe we should try living for what makes us WANT to live. We just simply have to take the first step, which is as easy as.. try.

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Comments

[RR]

I really enjoy your posts. Keep up the good writing and remain positive, my fellow caminante. Love.

[Auntie Sharon]

Wow
You are a gifted writer! Enjoyed your writing today!

[Alan Reiter]

Who Would Have Thought
How someone who is so absolutely gifted can believe that they are not worthy of enjoyment, friendship and love.

[Wee Little Pilgrim]

Grazie mille mio Padre! (Thank you so much Papa) You know, it just takes time to figure it out in life I guess :) I can proudly say today, I feel more love, blessed and appreciated than ever before! :) :) :) It's a GOOD FRICKIN FEELING!