My Mazda Sleeps Three: Road Tripping Through Italia

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One fine afternoon while enjoying a few alcoholic beverages in Geneve, Sebastian, Adam, and formulated an epic plan. We decided to take our tourism skills on the road and journey through Italy by car.

Saving all the boring details for how we arrived at our take-off point; we departed from Cornivan (central) Station late Friday afternoon. Our vessel of travel was a Mazda 6, fully automatic, midnight blue with a metallic shine. There were over 6 cup holders, a CD radio with a decent sound system, and plenty of trunk space. It was a fine automobile worthy of being our chariot through the open roads of Southern France and Italy.

Our start was anything but smooth. What can you expect really? The map for our trip was off of yahoo, most signs leaving Geneva are in French, and we were all lit. Not a recipe for a direct flight at all. So after scrambling a bit to find the border, we crossed over into France and were on our way to Venice.

The view for the first 45 minutes or so was spectacular. We were looking the French Alps right in the face as we barreled along the road towards Mt. Blanc. For those who do not know, Mount Blanc is the highest point in all of Europe. It was absolutely awesome to see the snow covered caps on such a beautiful afternoon.

Soon we entered the Mount Blanc tunnel. Now I have seen some tunnels in my days on the road, but this thing was epic. It took at least 30 minutes to get all the way through, but it felt like a lifetime (minor exaggeration). Lights warned you not to get closer than 100 meters since it was only a 2-lane pass. However, we obviously ignored such obvious warnings and were frequently warned via electronic signs within the abyss.

After departing the tunnel, we crossed over into the great country of Italy. The trip from here took us through the winding highways and beautiful mountainous scenery for another 4 hours. We attempted a few road games, gave up, and kept traveling. On my driving shift, I departed from my usual ritual of downing a fifth of Scotch before getting behind the wheel and remained sober. Well sober from alcohol at least (wink).

Night fell upon us as we crossed the bridge and entered the City of Venice. We were all very tired at this point, but were able to locate a parking garage and then a spot on the roof. We stretched out a bit, used the lavatory (aka found a corner where no one was hopefully looking), and headed towards the city.

The night-lights of Venice reflected beautifully off the plethora of canals that served as the city’s streets. We crossed the bridge and made are way through the surprising hustle and bustle that congregated there. After snagging a few cold one’s, the three musketeers proceeded into the city depths. It was pretty dark out and not all the streets are vibrantly lit, so we found ourselves constantly getting lost amidst the maze of narrow walkways.

This night was a bit low key considering what was laid out before us. We stumbled into a few bars and got extremely lost at one point before finally finding the end of the maze that is Venice. After slamming a few more beers down, we climbed back to the top of the parking garage and settled into our Mazda Hostel. I’m not going to sugar coat it, the night was awful. On top of having 3 strapping young lads packed into the vehicle (Seb and Adam snuggled together in the back while I crammed into the passenger seat and reclined it up front) without any music or entertainment, it was freezing outside. I tossed and turned until about 4am and finally was able to close my eyes and drift off to dream land.

Approximately 4 hours after I was able to get my beauty rest, the gleaming sunshine infiltrated our sleeping quarters and awoke us all with groans of displeasure. We awkwardly babbled incoherently about how terrible the previous nights rest was and forced ourselves out of the car. After a quick tooth brushing, we were off again to explore the city by day.

Venice is truly an Italian gem worth a visit undoubtedly. The city streets effectively provide tourists a life-sized maze through which they can tune their navigation skills while marveling at the many sights. St. Marc’s square was fantastic. The massive church towers over the courtyard below and its shadow reaches the sea in the background. We walked along the coastline for a bit, got some lunch and began the journey back to our motel on wheels.

Once back in our Mazda, we pulled up our map (this was of course merely a printout from yahoo.. an incomplete printout at that) and set our sights on Florcence. Here is when we made the best decision of the trip: creating an epic montage of sounds to delight the rock gods across the universe. The track list included: “Sympathy for the Devil,” “Jane Says,” “No Rain,” “Sex is on Fire,” and of course: “Pass it, Pass it” by the King of hip-hop himself Snoop Doggy Dog. Now I have listened to a few Cd’s in my day repeatedly, but this was reaching new levels. From this point on in the trip, the CD was always booming on our car’s sound system. I can’t lie; I never even got remotely sick of hearing the beautiful music, not for one second.

We proceeded onward across the Italian countryside to our next destination with smiling faces and preconceptions of epic times to come in the urban center that makes up Firenze (I just dropped some serious knowledge on you. Florence, while traveling in Italy and looking at maps, is not Florence at all. Once the Italian’s touch the city, the name takes on a romantic mutation and becomes: Firenze… remember that.. definite possibility of a Jeopardy question). Once we arrived, Captain Leightley steered our transport into an appropriate parking garage in the city center. It was a bit difficult navigating the unknown streets, especially with the crazed Italian drivers, but we did find our way without causing any serious damage to the car.

We walked around clearly lost for a bit and then I passed a few sights that I remembered from my last visit to Florence years earlier. My favorite was an Irish pub that I had a brief flashback to. I quickly recalled stumbling out of that bar singing Karaoke songs with my friend Dave as we darted in and out of oncoming traffic, barely able to stand. Somehow, I had a feeling the past was going to repeat itself in the coming evening.

After rummaging about trying to locate a place to sleep, we found a sick hostel to stay at. Seb and I shared a room and Adam got his own place. The hostel had a sick terrace on the roof that we chilled on for a bit. Our view was amazing, the city rolled out before us: the Duomo sat directly in front of us and we could just barely make out the Arno River in the distance. It was awesome.

After relaxing for a bit, we were off to see the sights. The Duomo truly is an incredible sight to behold. The towering dome cathedral dwarfs all buildings around it. The outer walls are intricately decorated with biblical depictions of heaven, hell and the angels. The dome itself is painted a vibrant orange shade that eloquently captured the setting sun as we sat on the steps gazing up at it. We walked onward a bit more until reaching the Ponte Vecchio. This world famous bridge stretches out across the Arno and is marked by the fact that it is a covered bridge. Various stores and stands lie on the sidewalks and it is a place where many tourists and locals congregate to gaze out at a magnificent view of the city. We hung out here for a bit, snapped a few well-timed photos and grabbed some dinner at a nice Italian restaurant up the street. Afterwards, it was time to start drinking.

If elephants have a reputation of having a memory as such that they earn the position of perpetuating the cliché: “an elephant never forgets,” I would be a squirrel. I seriously just do not understand how the ingestion of a liquid can so quickly impede all my abilities to recollect a night’s occurrences. Regardless, I remain hopefully that one day I will overcome my affliction and be able to tell my grandkids stories of Grandpa Andrew’s life. Anyways, I shall proceed onward under the pretense that I blacked out early on in the evening and most of the evening was regurgitated to me second hand.

The three of us began drinking wine in some awesome piazza in the middle of the city. A few bottles later, we made our way to a street that appeared to be home to a lively crowd. And lively it was. Adam and Seb obviously recognized my level of intoxication and prompted me to talk to a random group of girls on the street corner. They weren’t hookers, I swear they were real girls. Seriously. So, I stumbled across the street and approached the females awaiting my company. Surprisingly, even in my condition, the girls took a liking to me. In the end, we ended up traveling with them up the road a bit and going to a club/bar with them.

From this point on, I do not have much for you. I was drunk damnit, and drunk people tend to do one thing, drink more. I have random flashbacks of myself sitting on a barstool wasted ordering shots of tequila while talking to the girls, but that’s all I got. I awoke the next morning completely and utterly confused and attempted to pick up the pieces of a shattered life.

Happy Easter! I awoke and realized that it was Easter Sunday in Italy. What a life! After stumbling around and battling through my hangover, I made my way downstairs for breakfast.

Once I consumed an entire buffet’s worth of food to decrease the effects of my hangover, the three boys were off to be tourists again. We made our way back to the Duomo and it was insane there. There must have been at least 500,000 people congregated in the piazza for Easter Sunday mass. Ok, bit of an over-exaggeration, but you get the point, there were more than just a few folks there, I didn’t have the time to count them all. The scene was incredible though, so many toursits and locals crowding the streets that I could not even see the gigantic front door of the cathedral. This was some party! Gotta hand it to the Italian’s… they know how to celebrate Easter.

We stayed in the area a bit longer and then made our way to St. Maria Novello. Here was another amazing cathedral marked by incredible Italian architecture. The piazza itself was the focal point of this place though. There was a huge market in the center selling everything from fine wine to random souvenir’s no one really needs, but they buy anyways. There was a band playing near the front of the church and I could not help walking up and listening to their rendition of Sinatra’s “My Way.” It was actually quite good. Soon we realized it was beginning to get late, and we had more driving to do today. We rallied together at the car, I hopped in the drivers seat, and off we were to Cinque Terra.

Florence is by far one of the best places I have ever visited. I consider it an epic place to choose to vacation in Europe. From the Duomo to the Ponte Vecchio, the statues of Greek mythological character in front of the Uffizi, to the many piazzas which provide good food and drink, the city is spectacular. I hope to one day return and find out what happened that fateful night when I blacked out and apologize to the many that I am sure to have offended. Driving away, I watched the Duomo’s tower disappear in the rearview mirror and I could not help but wave. Peace out Firenze.

The drive took us about 3 hours, so we listened to our epic CD about twice through before arriving at the Italian coast. The roads that led us to Cinque Terra were anything but smooth. Winding, twisting, turning, rising and falling, the 3 of us could not help but get a little woozy climbing the mountains in our steel chariot. The 5 towns of Cinque Terra may lie on the coast, but the beauty is provided by the fact that mountains surround the estates. There is only one road that connects the towns together and the road is by no means a road I would take a student driver on. Shit was crazy. The good thing about this seclusion is the fact that the roads are not very busy. Gazing out the window from high atop the hills above Cinque Terra, I was exposed to beautiful scenery marked by mountains, nature, and the Mediterranean Sea glistening in the afternoon sun. It was a sight to behold for sure.

After struggling to find parking, we left our car at a town a little bit above the first town we were going to visit: Manarola. Here is where things took a bit of a turn. We thought we found signs leading us from the town we were in to Manarola. You see, where we were at this point was high in the mountains above the city below. It was a trek to reach Manarola and we had to hike through the woods to get there. Now I need to admit, it was probably my fault for the series of unfortunate events that followed. In my defense, I had been drinking and thought I saw a sign that pointed towards the city. In retrospect, it may have just been smeared paint on a building that led me astray. O well.

Regardless, we followed my lead through the town and then down a path towards the sea below. The path took us through a beautiful vineyard. I have to admit, gazing off from the vineyard to marvel at Manarola and the ocean below us was pretty amazing. It was a bit scary too. You would think that the path would be somewhat gradual leading to the bottom, however, this trail reminded me of something I saw on an Everest documentary. I was getting tired! We strayed off the path for a bit and rested in the vineyard as we gazed at the view before us. Then, it was time to carry on.

It did not take long before we came to the realization that would plague our next 2 hours: this was not the trail down. We had ended up literally in the middle of some random Italian vineyard on the mountain. There was no way down! We had to essentially blaze our own trail through the grape trees and attempt to climb down without guidance. This was not the east hike we were expecting. I couldn’t help thinking about the first people to settle the area. How they must have had to climb the same terrain to build the city below, and how we… were nothing like them. They were hard working Italian slaves, we were retarded graduate students who were unable to follow basic instructions: stay on the path.

So finally, after a few laughs (and cries) we found ourselves in the belly of the beast. We were about 50 feet above the road below, standing in front of a path that would easily take us to the bottom. The only problem was: the path was through a persons yard, a yard that was clearly marked: private property, do not enter. Now, I did not really feel like getting shot by some angry Italian farmer, but what the hell were we supposed to do? So, the three of us debated on whether or not to try our chances with the Italians, or plummet 50 feet and aim for the road below. We chose the former option. I led us into the valley of the shadow of death, up onto the porch and down some old wooden steps. All of a sudden, from a crawlspace next to me… the beast attacked. I swear to God, the animal that snarled at me was no creature I have ever seen before. I nearly had a heart attack. Luckily, the demon dog was caged behind a wooden door, so I was barely able to escape with my life. Not long after the attack, we made it to the road that swiftly took us to Manarola. Looking up at the path we had just overcome, a feeling of accomplishment swept over our young faces. We had come face-to-face with the wild, and won.

Manarola was a very beautiful place to visit. The city is literally built as close to the cliffs edge as possible, which then drops abruptly into the sea below. There were nice churches and small shops throughout the small town and we explored around for about an hour. It was time to find a place to sleep. We asked a few people where the best place to rest would be. It was here when we were forced to deal with the inescapable fact that we would be spending the night in the Mazda Hotel once again. Apparently, Easter weekend was a big time of year for Cinque Terra. People even laughed at us for asking for rooms. Ass holes! How are we supposed to know you need to actually plan trips these days? I much rather go about epic vacations by winging it… its always worked before. O well, we realized we would again be snuggled in the Mazda, so we gathered up our thoughts and found a bus to take us up the mountain back to the car.

Once at the car, the evening’s problems went from bad to worse. Now I am not going to point fingers but someone (cough Adam) forgot to shut the car lights off and the battery died. So there we were, three wandering souls stuck on the side of a mountain with a dead car. Great. After attempting to flag a few passing travelers down, luck seemed to return to us: a passing motorist was a mechanic and had jumper cables. The highway angel gave us a jump and we were back in business.

Rather than staying where we were, the group decided to drive to the next town and try to find a place to spend the night. So, we got back in the car and back on the winding roads surrounding Cinque Terra.

We parked the car about a mile away from the next city: Vernazza. It was getting dark at this point and we decided to travel into town to see if we could find some trouble to get ourselves into. Once in town, we found a children’s playground and decided to revert back to kindergarten I hopped on the carousel and spun around as fast as possible. We did this until I felt like throwing up and stumbled around laughing hysterically as passer-byers quickly ran away from us. They looked terrified.

After the world was no longer spinning before my eyes, we traveled into town to find a room. Vernazza was beautiful by night. It was not built on the cliffs like Monarola was, the beach came right up to the central courtyard and there were various boats in the bay. The city rose around the central courtyard up into the hills and made me feel enclosed as I walked around. We walked up into the city and knocked on every door that appeared to offer housing, no dice. We were not going to find harbor here, it was definitely another night in the car for us.

With the knowledge that it was going to be a rough night, I decided to start chugging liquor. I drank a bunch of beer and wine out in a courtyard restaurant and started getting a bit tipsy. At this point, we all decided to venture out onto the pier. From the pier, there was an awesome rock jetty that went out about 30 feet into the water. We climbed onto this, attempting not to plummet into the water below, and found a comfortable spot on the rocks.

This is arguably the best moment that I have had in all my overseas travels. A beer in the hand, and nothing but good friends and the sound of the ocean surrounding me. It was perfect, really dark, but perfect. Seb ended up heading back after a bit, but Adam I me stayed out on the rocks into the night, drinking and just shooting the shit as the waves crashed upon the rocks next to us. It was an epic moment that I will never forget. That jetty is probably my favorite place on Earth. I could have passed out there if it weren’t for the fact that the jagged rocks finally got to my back and coaxed me to return to our Mazda. I slept fine that night.

The next morning was our last day of the trip. However, before making the long journey home to Geneva, the three of us decided to hike from Vernazza to the next city about 2 miles away: Monterossa.

Now this was one intense hike. Straight up into the mountains above us, we trekked on with no clue how long we would be gone for. It took a lot out of us, but the views that we were able to get along the way made it all worth it. After shedding almost all of my clothes and sweating out 3 liters of water, we were nearing the end of the trail. Just to prove how hard the hike was, some guy actually had a heart attack as we were making our way to Monterossa. I won’t make a joke.

Upon reaching Monterossa, we walked down the beach a bit and then toured the town. The beach of Monterossa was the largest of the other 4 towns, and it was very crowded. It was very beautiful though. Soon though, we had to think about returning home. So we hopped onto a train and went back to Vernazza to get the car. 6 hours later, we were home in Geneva.

The trip through Italy was the best road trip I have ever been on. Beyond the utter beauty of traveling through the Alps and the Italian countryside, and being able to visit 6 amazing locations on the way, the friends I brought with me made the trip. Adam, Sebastian and I had an epic trip together that I do not think will easily be forgotten. Though this story may not have comprised of too many drunken occurrences that could have had me arrested (like most my stories are), this adventure was one of visual sights that few people have the chance to see. I find myself very lucky to have been granted the opportunity.

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