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Published: December 24th 2005
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Montage
Sit back and enjoy. We got a little boozed and took many, many photos of ourselves laughing our heads off. Thusly, we were greeted by men in Florence (once we finally got there - see The Great Train Debacle for further clarification). We have absolutely no idea what they were trying to achieve by calling us 'Francesca', but it certainly didn't work. It was in Florence that we first came into contact with something that Italy should be known for - the street market seller. At first we thought we could handle it - being told that they'll 'Do a good price for friendly people' is laughable. It upped to another level though after lunch on our first day. Walking back through the market - Jacki had an unnatural desire to purchase something, anything, everything - we were stopped by an unlikely looking lad trying to off leather jackets.
"Where you from?"
"Australia."
"I have friend in Australia. Melbourne. You like Melbourne?"
"Well, we've never really been."
"I know what you want. You not want short jacket, you not want long jacket, you not want furry. I know what you want. Follow me." (Hand grabbing and pulling ensued)
"No please, really. Even if I did want to wear dead cow, I'm not really in the market for a jacket right now."
Montage 2
Obviously, we are incredibly funny...or drunk...either one works. "You cold, Bella."
"No. Not cold. Angry."
"Come into my shop. Now look at this jacket. Oooh, you like red. Lady in red. If you like, I give you small size. That will fit you, yes?"
"NO" (Lauren, having secretly escaped watches from a distance with glee - hey, I'm not a sucker)
"You buy. You buy. You Buy!!!"
Jacki at this junction decides that she has had enough and tears out of the store, followed by the guy clutching leather jackets and shouting what we assume are obscenities. We tried to steer clear of the markets after that, but they seemed to be a lure for Jacki, who after buying a shirt, was told that she could come back if it didn't fit as he has "one size up, one size down, in every colour Francesca!" - such an enticement.
It also struck us that perhaps some of the establishments that we were looking at weren't all that legit. In one instance, we were walking down a street lined with what we dub 'Cardboard box and sheet stores', when all of a sudden there's a cry of "POLIZA", and within ten seconds, the street's empty, with no sign of
Montage 3
And the fun continues... the stands at all. In another instance, we were purchasing an item from a stall, when the owner asked us if there were any police around, because if there were he'd have to give us a receipt. There weren't and we walked off receiptless.
Florence in all actuality was a lovely place - fantastic food. And now we come to a secret that we have to share with you all. On Via Guelfa, just off Via Nazionale, there's a fantastic restaurant that we went to - Cafaggi. The pork dish (Arista di maiale alla griglia con fagioli all'uccelletto) with spicy beans is what we will forever be measuring food against. I'm afraid we've raised the bar too high. This place was so good that we went back again - oh my god. It's like heaven on a plate.
Apart from the food, which I could wax poetic on for days, we also checked out the Duomo (The Duomo - it has a big dome - is a huge cathedral and is spectacular). We also went to see Michelangelo's David (Alas, no photos - you weren't allowed, and we couldn't find the replica of it that was supposedly hiding somewhere in
Montage 4
Aaaand theeeeeen. Ala Crazy Asian Lady -Dude Where's My Car. Florence) - which was absolutely bloody amazing. It's incredibly detailed and huge! Seriously about 3.5 metres tall. We were impressed. So impressed in fact that we had to go to the market and buy some tacky David boxer shorts - very attractive.
Unfortunately, I then came down with a particularly loathsome form of flu type virus (Lauren that is, if you couldn't tell) - and spent the last day miserable and self pitying. If anyone cares, I am a bit better now.
With the sunny days over (we walked to the station in the pouring rain) we waved goodbye to Florence (or Flah-rah or Firenze - depending on your French or Italian preference), having thoroughly enjoyed our time there.
With that sappy bit of ending, we'll inject a little humour with our
Five Things! * When walking through a street market, walk in neutral territory (preferably the middle), and avoid eye contact at all costs!!
* No matter what you buy at a street market, chances are two stalls down it will be cheaper.
* There is no one and nothing more forceful than someone trying to sell you something that you know is absolute crap.
* Street
Baby you can drive my...vespa?
If you can remove it from the park. stall owners are apparently magicians, they seem to disappear at the first sign of Poliza.
* Arista di maiale alla griglia con fagioli all'uccelletto is the best dish in the world - we know this now.
Until Rome and Next time.
Loz and Jak.
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Jena
Jena Hazlerigs
Gotta love venders..
Principessa! (although I'm spelling it wrong) They were calling you princess. ;) Having lived in Florence last summer, I understand your woes all too well! Thanks for the giggle. :)