Italian road rules

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Ha ha! Ha hahahaha! Gimme a sec to get it all out of my system....hahahaha!!! 😊
Ok, I'm done now. Sorry bout that, but the notion of Italians actually FOLLOWING road rules is highly laughable. Truly. Ha ha. Ok, really, I'm done. Let me explain...

Driving along in Pasquale's car, holding on for dear life and watching my knuckles turn a pasty white (which was undoubtedly the colour of my face before it turned blue as we were approaching the top of Vesuvius), I learnt the following about Italian road rule, or, rather, lack of them.

Sticking to your lane? --> What lanes? It's a free for all
Giving way? --> What the hell for? Just speed up and you're bound to find a gap in the traffic
Indicating? --> Oh, we thought that was just an optional extra
Staying a safe breaking distance behing the car in front of you? --> No, if you just tailgate really close behind, the person ahead will speed up- or else you could just swerve into oncoming traffic to get around them
Have only one car at a time drive along the narrow, narrow roads? --> The more the merrier! Two (or even three) is better, and, most importantly, FASTER, than one at a time
Stop at red lights? --> Aren't red lights just there to decorate the side of the road? Italians like red...Yeah, they're only there for decorative purposes- just ignore them and do as you please
Maintain a legitimite speed? --> And what would that be? 150km/hr? 160km/hr? Why would a speedometer have all these numbers on it if the car never gets to go that fast?

So yeah. You can just imagine where my stomach ended up as I watched the speedometer steadily turn further to the right, as we were swearving through peak hour traffic on the freeway. Having said that, Italians sure know how to drive their cars- none of this pussy driving we get in Oz. Breaks are there to be slammed at a moments notice, and the gas pedal sure gets a workout!! They have balls, I'll give them that much. An Aussie driver would be roadkill in a matter of minutes...

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