Oink !!! On the high road.

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Hello.
At the minute, I'm working in a stud farm. I have gotten a little weekend work and I working with a bunch of lovely, funny pigs; any money I earn goes on drink.
I'm kind of scared about traveling. Well not so much the traveling part. It's what’s in the outside world that scares me. The heat, the roads, the butchers. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited. But scared!!!
I'm going to oxygen on my own this weekend. I've options to meet up with others pigs there, but for the most part, it'll be me and my backpack. This should be a nice, slow introduction hopefully laced with lots of swimming in the muck, sunbathing and partying. Wherever. I'm free to roam. That's the beauty of doing it by myself. I will post some pictures on my blog.
Practically all of my family are dotted around the globe so I plan to visit them I will scour every nook and cranny for a bit of culture and enlightenment (but secretly hoping to run into as many full-moon parties as possible).
I'm not entirely sure what appeals to me about traveling. Maybe the lack of work, the mayhem? The imagined company of beautiful pigs ... all very good reasons to travel. And whether I'm right or not, I'm pretty sure it'll be a world away from sitting on your desk
Anyway, you could come with me every step of the way - well, not every step. Just a few minutesas often as you can, via my blog. Even so, I'll do my best to tell of the debauched beach parties, the dodgy days with "washing machine" tummy, the messy late-night stumbling into bars and, of course, all that bull about finding myself. Tell all thos in work to log in a feel free to leave comments. You never know where I will pop up.
Notorious P.I.G

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Comments

[Ruth]

Come back Freddie
Oh Freddie where are you?? My heart is broken.... I've searched high and low, even checked a few bus-stops. I've been into every butchers. But you're nowhere to be found. Have you been eaten by a big bad wolf? Oh Freddie do you have to go to Oxegen? I don't like the thought of your washing machine tummy, the full mooned parties and the imaginary company of beautiful pigs. Come back to me and you can have a pig for real....!! And I will help you find yourself. You know for a fact that I have a Certificate in Counselling with Maynooth University, and a Certificate in Applied Theology with University College Wales, where I excelled in pastoral care. I can care for you Freddie - in a very special way. I'll tickle your back with a stick. Oh Freddie I'm getting so stressed without you to squeeze - have I failed you?? Tell me and I'll change. Am I too demanding? Too boring? Too chatty? Too thoughtless by eating sausage rolls in front of you? My blood pressure is rising Freddie - I need you like the sunshine needs the rain you know I need you...

[Ruth]

Relief
Dear Freddie (Notorious Pig) - I'm so pleased to see you made it to Oxegen, and that somehow you weren't trampled on by other people's trotters. But I'm certainly not pleased to see you've been drinking cocktails again. That ten step AA program wasn't just a joke you know. There's little point making rash(er) promises and not sticking to them. Continue on that road and there'll be no one left to bring home the bacon.... But on to other matters. I need to let you know that I've replaced you in my life. You are now surplus to requirements. I'm happy as a pig in muck with my new pet.... a cock. I'll send you a photo of the little darling in the near future. In the meantime, happy travelling, and don't forget to send me an update every now and again.

[Pignappers]

I feel sick
Hey Ruthie It's Freddie here. I am not feeling too good. I spent a few nights rolling around in the muck with some slutty sows. I had great fun but I think I caught something. I went to the Vet yesterday and at first he thought it was swine syphilis but it turns out I have swine flu. I feel so ill and I don't knwwo if I will make it through. In my last days on this earth I would like nothing more that your loving arms around me. I would take comfort in that more so than the care I am receiving at the moment. They are taking strips off me, literally. I am not the pig I used to be. Please save my bacon before I am pickled. Please respond to this mail to show you care. My pignappers said they will give you further details then. I don't think there is a cure for me here - that I like anyway. I tried doing the whole smoked bacon thing but ended up extremly sick and paranoid. Please mama, while there is blood running through my veins - save me - save my bacon . . . . . Poorly pig on the brink of extinction.

[Ruth]

Oh Freddie there is no easy way to say this.... my loving arms won't fit around you. And they're not loving. But I don't want you dying on your own, so I'm lending you my inflatable pig. I think you will find him particularly comforting, and you can pretend that you're gay... just for the death scene. Once that's over you can revert to being straight... oh sorry... you'll be dead ! But Freddie our relationship has been an education as far as I'm concerned. You can die knowing that you made a difference to somebody's life... where that person is, I don't know, but I'm sure your sausages and rashers will fill a few hungry stomachs once you pop your clogs, and that will make a difference, won't it? Goodbye Freddie, forever.