prayer group and fish and chips

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Today is the anniversary of my arrival. 2 full months today!! wow! i am so lucky and so blessed, every day i thank god for this experience. I am having such a grand time and can't wait to have more of it!! Today was pretty great! It wasnt a beautifully sunny day but it was still warm enough. it was kinda misty and magical in the morning, it was almost out of a movie!! I took scarf #1 out today trying to find its owner but didnt have luck. Well actually i saw a homeless guy in the park and had this feeling i should give it to him but he looked really closed off and in a corner and i got scared. I think im going to walk back that way on thursday and try to find him again. if i find him then it really was meant to be his scarf and if not then i will find its owner some time soon. I don't know what i am looking for i just know that god will tell me when.

before that mission i had approaches lecture and learned about feminism in art history which was actually really really interesting and i am glad that there will be 3 more classes on it. it was interesting to think even the word itself "feminism" gives rise to a term that implies a gender. already before even getting into equality philosophy, the word makes it clear that there is a difference. never thought of that before.

after that then i had to run to the gym to catch my killer class. it was cool i was a little late and when i walked in the teacher remembered me and asked if i had been soar from last time, i laughed and said for a few days. ahah on the walk back to my place i decided to take the walk through the park back and like stated earlier, try to find the owner of the scarf. Oh i started my next one last night, it is magenta pink and i learned the triple stitch shell from youtube haha it is really pretty😊 but ya so i walked back and oh man it was gorgeous!! i just marveled in how amazing the day was! and also when walking back i noticed the river was uncharacteristically high! like spilling over high!! it was insane the water was spilling over on to the street and the cars were swerving around it. this city is simply incredible! i LOVE IT!!

after that rather going straight to take my shower i decided to go get hair dye- ive been shopping around trying to find the right color and price and all and ended up with this copper blonde color (pretty much what i had when i dyed it this time- so dont worry im not going crazy!!) but ya i was really shocked only one place out of 4 actually carried any red color. im not talking about just my shade i wanted- NO really, absolutely no red tones at all! i asked my roommate what she thought about it and she said that probably a lot of the irish dont actually want to have red hair by choice. so they either have it naturally or they dye it some other shade. i thought that made a lot of sense! so i had to get the organic kind- yes mom they have ORGANIC hair dye. im excited and lara said she would help me do it tomorrow after yoga 😊

after that I came back had to take a shower and go to irish lecture. oh man i was almost late and ended up going with my hair dripping wet. ahah it was funny though over the class time my hair poofed up and dried.

after that i had to pick my essay topic for modern class and ended up on the topic of rauschenberg and what the significance of his medium choice was. also whether anything could be taken out or if everything had meaning and was needed. YAY ahah not really! i realized that i only have a month left of actual classes and started also noticing that i am actually studying here and need to get my but in gear doing my essays. haha ive been doing my work all along but just thinking that the essays were going to be in the future, well no! ahah they are almost here!!!!! FREAK OUT!! haha not really they will be done in their time and they will be grand! oh and i got my scores back from my postmodern visual exam: i got a 66. dont freak the top score you can get is a 78 so apparently i am in the two ones 2nd level. which basically for our standards is the highest B you can get so say a 88 or 89% and that also means that with that score i could get into grad school over here (im above the requirements!!). haha learn something new everyday! i learned that from my new irish friend who is in a few of my art history classes and who i have had tea with a few times in between classes😊

we then had class and then got invited to see the presidents entry way where one of the works we were talking about was actually displayed. haha ya so i totally went in his entry way!! it was SO cool!! he lives in the east wing of the quadrangle it was massively impressive!!

i then went to a prayer group tonight at grace. Don't worry i got a lift 😊 i didnt walk up there in the dark and by myself. DONT ITCH MOM!! haha It was neat, apparently once a month they have a beginners group meeting as opposed to the big group meeting they have every week. We talked about hell and how although most religious groups don't talk about it there is peace in knowing what is also possible. but i had this revelation while sitting there that maybe heaven and hell arent what i have in my head from childhood. you know the picture of flames vs pretty bunnies and candy😊 maybe instead hell is just a place where you feel suffering and lonely, where everything goes wrong and everything you try is selfish and not fulfilling. maybe that fire is just a visual example of that death-like feeling, that one gets when they are without god: that daily dying more and more feeling and that nothing is ever quite right. And maybe heaven is that peace and just utter love in your heart, that feeling that no matter what someone loves you and that constancy in your heart that no one and nothing can ever take away. I would be ok with that. Maybe those two feelings are giving us a taste of how miserable or how amazing after death will be. Maybe that is why it says that if you do not call to god before death you will be in hell. (i have never been ok with that statement) but i started thinking if hell and heaven are those new definitions then it makes since. people without god cant magically claim god after they are dead. if we truly choose god then we will be with him and if not then we will be without, that simple. All i know is that i have lived without him in my life, with him in my life but not in my heart and now with him finally in my heart and i know that i would not give up this feeling for anything! I trust him with everything and whatever he wants will be what is right for me😊 yay for random thoughts that turn into life changing revelations!!

and now i am writing this and will head to bed soon. Tomorrow I am going to Kilcrea, a castle i think. One of the ladies from grace invited me to go along with her and a few other americans (actually from lompoc, CA ahha random!!) that she is taking around. i am missing irish (which i told my teacher) but ya it will be fine. I am excited!! and will take pics for all of you!

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