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Published: September 23rd 2008
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Part 76, “80s Love Songs Across Ireland”
It’s still raining. It’s also September and I’m wearing long johns under my pants during the daytime. I’m a tropical person; I like sunshine, bananas and girls in daisy dukes. Everyone here is dressed like they’re part of the Nazi army about go invade Russia in middle of December, but in a stylish and sexy way.
Our venture to Galway had us stop at the Blarney Castle so we could kiss the Blarney stone. Castles aren’t as spacious as one might think. They’re cold tiny and I’m sure they had rats. We heaved our fat butts up rope railed stairways and made our way to the top of the castle, where a brittle old man has you lay on your back, dip half your body over the side of the castle and kiss the blarney stone. As I write this, Tara has been off and on sick and I haven’t. I think it has to do with all my built up immunity to smooch related bacteria since 1st grade and the olivedome’s constant slow dose supply of penicillin provided by the fungus that has now consumed %50 of the Olivedome. Supposedly
Blarney Stone
I slipped it the tongue if you kiss the Blarney stone you are granted the gift of gab, which is kind of dumb to have me kiss a stone that will make me talk more. Smart thinking Tara.
I’ve been doing the majority of the driving as of late. I’ve gotten quite well at left handed stick shifting, but I do tend to drift to the left. Tara’s fear is my red bull. Her constant screams of fear keep me alert and both of us alive.
“The Home of Viagra”
Today we passed through Cork pretty briefly. Originally this is where Tara and I were going to live, but after talking to many people decided that we’d be happier in Galway. After driving through Cork, which is the home and birthplace of Viagra, and writing this from our apartment in Galway, I can easily say we made the right decision. Cork is simple, but massive. It’s ports and shipping areas, dwarves San Francisco, Oakland and San Diego combined. Several highlights came from our 2-hour run through Cork.
Uno: We visited the dock where the Titanic boarded its passengers and set sail. It’s strange to visit and see the last dry land thousands
Leaning
Saint Johnny Mexico for GOD campaign poster. of people touched before meeting their fate in the form of a watery grave at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean. We stared at it a lot longer than I thought I would have, and I’m still not sure why I gave it so much pause.
Two: More delicious Irish food and booze. There’s nothing like a frosty pint of Guinness to clear your head before driving 4 hours to the Dingle Peninsula! I have come to respect and love the Irish for two simple things. Here there is only two ways to serve food, Quality and Quantity!!!!! If you walk away from an Irish meal and don’t feel as though you just ate Santa Clause, you must have ordered from the starter menu or you have an eating disorder and threw up all your food up in the toilet after you ate. My god, everywhere I go it gets better and better. Irish Guinness stew with lamb! Yum yum yum yum yum. Meat is murder, sweet delicious murder.
Three: We rocked out to 80s love songs for a large portion of the drive. Our track list went something like this, feel free to steal it, burn it
Trouble Doors
These kinds of doors would spell disaster at the Olivedome and give it to a crush she’ll either felate you or marry you. Please make sure to title the cd, “Love Songs, A Tribute to Rob Britt”
1. Pat Benetar -We Belong
2. Laura Branigan -How Am I Supposed to Live Without You
3. Chicago -We Did it All for the Glory of Love
4. Chicago -I Don’t Want to Live Without Your Love
5. OMD -If You Leave
6. Belinda Carlisle -Heaven is a Place on Earth
7. Thompson Twins -If You Leave
8. Heart -Alone
9. Aretha Franklin -I Knew You Were Waiting
10. This song should have been Bonnie Tyler, Total Eclipse of the Heart, but Tara only had the techno version of it. Blah!
We topped a long day off by cruising through the thinnest and windiest road I have ever been on in my life. Driving through unfamiliar hills, on windy roads, in the dark of night, knowing there are cliffs that include a long drop to the ocean, tired as a new born baby around 1pm and listening to the new Cold Play cd is an experience all in itself. I highly recommend it. And while we’re on recommendations, lyrics and song
Titanic Dock
I got nothing funny to say here. titles aside, especially song titles, the new Cold Play album musically is fucking phenomenal. Even if you aren’t a fan of them, steal it online or see Buddyzophka (Brendan of the Olivedome) for a copy. Make it a different listening experience; don’t just crank it in your car or shower. And listen to it twice, it should get in ya like prom night penetration. Wow, that was a little much.
------The Grand Finale-----------
I put a temporary red flag Jolly Roger tattoo on my forearm the first day I came to Ireland. It’s been two weeks today and its still here and barely fading.
“Lady of the Harp”
I saw a woman playing a large harp on the city shopping street to crowds of people to busy in their worlds to stop and listen. She played to an almost empty instrument case meant for people to free their pockets of their change in some small appreciation for the music they have been briefly blessed to be a part of today. All of these things made her music all the more beautiful.
Comparing cities/towns
Limerick -De Moines Iowa
Cork -Baltimore, Maryland
Galway -Austin, Texas
Dublin -New York City, minus skyscrapers
Waterford -Trenton, New Jersey, but a lot more pretty
Dingle- Pismo Beach, CA
Belfast- I haven’t been yet, I’ll get back to you
There are 525,600 minutes in a year. It’s something to think about, particularly how you spend them. And yes I stole that line from a song in the play, “Rent.”
Bob, Wyatt, Buddy, I had to add Olivedome, Doming, and Dome into Microsoft word’s spell check function to keep my own sanity when spellchecking.
There are too many new beers for me to drink here. And for some reason they only sell get drunk quick cans (that’s tall cans or 24oz of foreign goodness) It’s like being 16 all over again.
I still can’t believe felate (like filatio) is not a word
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