On the politeness of Germans

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I feel a need to give an update on the politeness of Germans.

Many are still not polite. At all. Many grocery store cashiers are still rude. And many salespeople in stores size you up when you come into the store, and then (if they don't think you're worthy, as I suppose they think about me) look at you as if to say, "What are YOU doing here? Don't bother me."

BUT there is hope. In the past few months, people have helped me lift Kaan's stroller onto the tram, they've asked me if I want to go ahead of them in line because I have a baby and only one thing to buy, and they have offered Kaan cookies in bakeries because he smiled at them. In one store, Kaan was just being his cheerful self, hanging out in his Baby Bjorn and kicking his legs. He was probably singing, as he often does. And the shopkeeper gave him a lederhosen-wearing small stuffed animal bear, which we named Ludwig. I felt so guilty that I had written something about people in shops being rude. I have no way of knowing if all these nice people were Germans, as I still don't know enough German to know if they have foreign accents (unless, of course, their looking Vietnamese gives it away), but SOME of them must have been German!

Maybe it's because it's summer now and we're all getting more Vitamin D, but I have definitely started noticing how nice Germans can be in recent months.

I must tell a funny story now, to illustrate how "niceness" and "politeness" are incredibly culture-centric and subjective. It's a friend's story, just so you know. When he was first learning English, in grade school here in Germany, there was an illustration in his English book of people waiting in line for a bus. The caption said something like, "People wait in a queue for the bus." The kids in class were apparently stunned. The statement made no sense to them. "But teacher, why are they waiting in a line for the bus?" one asked.

Enough said 😊

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Comments

[Mila]

Politeness in Europe
Well, after working over 18 months in Germany (Stuttgart) I can only approve your note...Germans ARE rude! ;- ) I can definitely say it, since I am french, and french people may be #1 in the "European rudeness contest" (just visit Paris and you'll see what I mean: taxi drivers, waitress in cafés and Restaurants,...the list would be too long). So don't get fooled by the summer attitude that you mentioned: in northern Europe people get just "different" from usual when the summer sun comes out in their sky! But who cares, as long as you get to meet the (small but qualitative) part of fantastic people that Germany has to offer, as in every country!;- ) One day you may even meet a local David Kameron (locally potentially called "Guenter schmithaueser" or something like that) in a "lunar park", that will come to you and exchange address with your family for years of true friendship! ;- )...have a nice day sister!

[Kaanosaurus]

French Lose Title as Rudest Europeans
Hi Mila! Thanks for the confirmation - I totally agree that every country has its idiosyncracies and share of nice and rude peole - I must say, though, that we spent a quick weekend in Paris in April, when Levent was there for work, and we decided that the Parisians should lose their status as Rudest Europeans. Everyone was son NICE!!! We were shocked. Maybe compared to England or the US, Parisians are rude, but compared to the people (in public) here, they were really friendly and helpful - waitresses, shopkeepers, busdrivers, everyone. So, we know you French people are proud of your title, but you'll have to try harder if you want to keep it :) Big hug! (And send some more pictures of Marie Lou over our way!) Gros bisous - Saskia Saskia

[Aunt Marilyn]

Some are very rude
On our cruise we visited Berlin. We had two guides one was from East Berlin and the other was from West Berlin. The East Berlin guide was very nice. He told me alot about how the people felt when the wall came down. For many it was difficult to compete and find a job. Under communism 2 out of 3 people worked for the state. If you even listened to west Berlin radio you got turned in. He said that after reunification his father found out that both his brother and best friend had turned him in. If you practiced religion the children in school were punished. They could not go on field trips,play sports etc. until they conviced their parents not to be religious. Still many people liked the security of being taken care of. To this day some east Berlin people don't get along with west Berlin people. Also he said he was ashamed of being German because of Hitler. He tries not to speak with a German accent. He feels that everyone associated Germans with Natzis.Later in Berlin I order an icecream cone. A man had ordered one of the same flavor. I thought his was mine so I picked it up by mistake. You should have heard him. You would have thought I killed his mother. I think the Germans have a chip on their shoulder or something.(maybe because of WWII) I really don't want to go back to Berlin. Our West Berlin guide was very different from Robert,our E, Berlin guide. Robert said that soccer had done alot to make him feel proud of Germany. Sasha(the W.Berlin guide) was arrogant and found every way he could to insult America.

[MAD]

Zahnzerstörungslebensmittel
Die haben eurem nett lächelndem Kind in der Bächerei nur deshalb Süßigkeiten angeboten damit sie seine Zähne mit diesen zuckerhaltigen Süßigkeiten zerstören können!

[Kaanosaurus]

DISCLAIMER
I feel the need to let everyone reading these blogs know that when I talk about Germans (or Americans or Turks) being polite or impolite, nice or not, I am NOT talking about individuals, but about the general public. By that, I mean the people you run into who you do not know. We have some fabulous German friends - people as nice as anyone we've met anywhere. And the "rude" people on the street could also be nice, once you get to know them. I'm talking about the perception of the people in public - Germans come across as brusque, rude, things like that because that is how some of them act towards strangers, at least in our experience so far. There are of course tons of nice people, too, but unfortunately we remember the bad ones.

[john]

Germans are rude ...
Generally most of the Germans are rude. They don't know about it but rudeness is one of their their national, cultural characteristics. Probably inherited from their Nazi past this rudeness is still a part of a German daily life. Don't be fooled if you got some kind of help for once, you have to live inside the society to find out these hidden side of Germany.

[Kaanosaurus]

Can't blame everything on the Nazis
Rudeness is definitely culture-centric and subjective. According to the American "rules of politeness", Germans don't fall in the very polite category. But it's not their fault - they are raised with their own norms. If Germans want to seem more polite to Americans (and it seems that many do), they have to learn what is polite and what's not, especially in the area of customer service. There actually are such classes here - it'll happen :) And being polite also doesn't mean someone's nice. Germany has its own share of nice and not nice people, just like every other country.

[Cathy]

It's limited
Germans are nice to new mothers with young children, but that's about it. Enjoy this while it lasts. After that, critical eyes will be following you everywhere you go to see if you're raising your child the right way and if your child is well behaved. You will get so many "helpful" comments on raising your child...that you will go mad! The playground is the most horrible place ever, with lots of rude and spoilt German children who have not been taught to share their stuff or respect other people. So enjoy the "pram carrying" gestures of kindness while you can.

[Kaanosaurus]

Changed my attitude
Since I don't think it's likely that I'll change the attitude of anyone who is judging me, I have changed my own perspective on this: I appreciate the kindness of strangers (and there is plenty of it, definitely more out here in the "country"), and I ignore the snide looks. Because if my kids are bothering someone, there's really nothing I can do. I must go grocery shopping. My children are not extremely well behaved, though it's not for lack of trying. They are just insanely active little kids. When we go to the store, I tell them "please don't hurt anyone, ok?". And I mean it. As long as they don't hurt anyone or themselves, I consider it a successful trip. :)