Stupid English-Speaking Person


Advertisement
France's flag
Europe » France » Corsica » L'Ile-Rousse
August 17th 2016
Published: June 10th 2017
Edit Blog Post

Issy shows me one of the photos she took yesterday. Her camera has a very powerful zoom lens and it can zoom in a lot closer than either of us can see unassisted. I'm a bit shocked to see that the photo is of two very attractive young girls sunbathing topless. She says she didn't realise they were topless when she took the photo. I think that was supposed to be my line.

The breakfast menu at the hotel is all in French and the waiter doesn't speak any English. I order the Corsican breakfast. I have no idea what this is. It turns out to be slices of strong blue cheese, salami and prosciutto. I'm sure that if I eat all of it I'll need to make an appointment with the local cardiologist, so I spend most of breakfast time piling it up on one side of the plate so that it will look like I've eaten at least some of it.

We decide that we'll catch the small train up the coast to the village of L'Ile-Rousse. We buy our tickets and then wander along the shoreline while we wait for our transport to arrive. The beach is sandy, and very busy. It seems that you can hire one beach umbrella and two sun lounges as a package for 20 Euro per day. The beach umbrellas aren't very big and look like they would only cover about half of one of the sun lounges. There doesn't seem to be a deal where you can hire what you would really need, which would seem to me to be four beach umbrellas and two sun lounges.

The train is packed, and it's standing room only. I tell Issy that we should stand in the middle of the carriage, next to the seats, and not at the end where everyone else is standing. That way if someone gets off, we can grab their seat. I don't think Issy likes my cunning plan; I'm not sure why. She stands at the end of the carriage with her back to me while I stand in the middle next to the seats. Sure enough, after two stops the person in the seat next to where I'm standing gets off and I pounce on their spot. I want Issy to sit in it, but she still has her back to me. I can't get her attention. I will her to turn around. My eyes bore into her back. They bore into her back for nine more stops. I'm facing away from her, so my neck is starting to not feel very happy. I decide that I've tried hard enough, so I give up and enjoy the view. I make one last ditch attempt to grab her attention, but it seems that she's found a seat at the other end of the carriage. It also seems that she had good foresight in not wanting to follow my cunning plan; a German boy sitting in the seat in front of me vomits all over himself, most of the people around him, and the floor under all their seats, including mine. Everyone scatters. There's no shortage of spare seats now.

The scenery along the way is excellent. We pass lots of beaches and small villages. I even see the villa that we intend to buy and retire to. It's high on the hill overlooking the sea and has a large terrace and a swimming pool. I'm sure that Issy will be very excited when she hears about this.

I'm glad that we're going to the end of the line. Most of the stations don't have names on them so I'm not quite sure how you'd know which one to get off at.

L'Ile-Rousse sits around a large and very well protected harbour, and a car ferry from the mainland has just arrived. We walk through the very attractive village square which is lined with restaurants packed with people having lunch. We continue along the promenade behind the long, busy, sandy beach.

We get back to the station early so we can get a seat on the train and avoid this morning's misfortunes. On the way back to Calvi I point out the villa that I've decided we'll buy. Issy says that she likes it. Hopefully we can move in in a few weeks.

We've noticed that everyone here seems to say "bonjour" to everyone else they see, and they seem to do this whether they know the other person or not. I think that this must be considered the polite thing to do, so I decide that we should do it too. As we walk into the hotel I say "bonjour" to the receptionist. She gives me a look and says "bonsoir" back. I think this loosely translates to something like "you're a stupid English-speaking person who thinks that he can speak French, but you don't even know what time of day it is". I think I might need to brush up on my French.

We have a short rest and then head out for dinner. I tell Issy that we can't leave the hotel until we find out what "can I have the bill please" is in French. I try to look this up on my phone while Issy asks the receptionist. The receptionist doesn't speak much English. Issy is using all the English words for "bill" that she can think of, but the receptionist doesn't understand any of them. Eventually she tries "cheque". The receptionist now thinks that we want to check out and starts preparing our account. The conversation goes downhill from there.

There is an impressive thunderstorm going on not too far away, and we're treated to a spectacular light show as we stroll into town. We decide that the mussels we had two nights ago were too good, and that we must have them again.


Additional photos below
Photos: 9, Displayed: 9


Advertisement

Ile Rousse, CorsicaIle Rousse, Corsica
Ile Rousse, Corsica

If you think you've got something good I guess you should let everyone know about it.


Tot: 0.252s; Tpl: 0.013s; cc: 42; qc: 182; dbt: 0.1849s; 1; m:domysql w:travelblog (10.17.0.13); sld: 1; ; mem: 1.6mb