Honestly about Money

---

I am still becoming increasingly aware of my surroundings. I am glad the bug-eyes me has not disappeared. One thing I realized while here is that money is more common to discuss. My friends in the military tell me how much they make without me asking and the girls on the soccer team tell me their government allowance they receive while in school. I am not sure if they tell me to inform or just because it doesn’t matter, though it doesn’t seem like it does. I really like knowing though because it puts the prices on items into perspective. Students there can make anywhere from $1,000 to $4,000 dollars a month just for going to school. I really like the emphasis on getting a good education. Also, it is nice that no one feels forced to go towards a certain degree due to monetary issues. The salary gap is not big enough for job choice to matter- people do what they love and if they need more money, they get another job without a second thought.
I think that oftentimes in America, money is a very big secret. No one can know another’s salary. It breeds competition and resentment and nothing purely positive. But in Denmark people are so honest with how much they have. A guy asked me out but said he didn’t have much money so we couldn’t go some place expensive, and, of course, that was fine with me. It put what I should get at the restaurant into perspective, and there was no second guessing about what restaurant was okay and what wasn’t.
Not only are they blunt about money, but also about everything in their lives. Honesty is crucial to their society. If they don’t like you, you will know it. And while, to a Southern girl, it can seem like they are being very aggressive and rude, I really started to appreciate that form of communication. With dating for example, if they don’t want to go on a date, they will just say they are not interested, and if they didn’t have fun, they won’t play games- they will just tell you it didn’t work out. If someone is mad at you, you find out right away and nothing gets built up. It works the other way, too. You know if people appreciate something you have done for them. You know when you do something well because it is told to you. They eliminate the guessing game. I think it makes society run so much smoother. People don’t get offended because everyone is like that.
The Northerners in the program didn’t find this quite as shocking as those from the South. I was stunned at first at what they would say. My coach, for instance, told me that they may not have a spot on the team for me because he had a lot of good players. I didn’t start, but he let me travel the first game. At the end of the game, he told me that, depending on how I performed in practice the upcoming week, I had made the starting team. And come the next game, I actually started. How different this way from Wofford, where I was told I would play continually if I did this and that but was always let down after I had accomplished anything. I felt so much better about what I had been able to do and knew exactly where I stood each step of the way. I really learned to appreciate honesty.
There was a guy I went on a date with in Denmark. I didn’t enjoy myself, but he kept calling. I would say I was busy for weeks in advance and other things that I thought would make it really obvious I was no longer interested, but Danes don’t understand hints- they are blunt. I have always considered myself to be blunt by my own standards, but not realized I am really not that honest with others. I say good things easily but I have trouble saying bad things- even if they need to be said. After months of calls and me constantly rejecting him, this guy wasn’t getting a clue. I had to be honest, and I gathered up courage and said exactly what I think. And he was upset, but I felt renewed. I was no longer leading someone on, and he could move on. It was a great feeling. While I will have to be especially cautious of how I use this newfound “bluntness” back home, I think it will be so nice to tell me what I think and not play so many games.

---