Belarus: Day 3

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Day three:

The fallout from the night before was sadly inevitable. I woke up with a pounding head and dry tongue. I staggered to the kitchen to get myself a liquid breakfast. First port of call was paracetamol, chased with a berocca followed by a large cup of black coffee. Everyone else seemed relaxed and unaffected by last night frivolity. It was my own fault for writing 2 days of blog in bed and expecting to feel human after 5 hours of sleep.

Walking outside (sunglasses firmly secured) the day was glorious. The heat at 10am was well established and the farm was busy with the daily tasks. The kids ran to collect the eggs and feed the dog. Victor was on his way out to work. Sergei and Natasha came over from their rented house bleary eyes. Vlad has been awake most of the night with a high temperature. He had been unwell for days now but his illness seemed to have peaked overnight.

I sat in the sun and took in the surroundings. Behind me the plots of vegetables were bursting with fresh produce. Giant tomatoes strained at the vine, peppers gleamed in the sun and the pumpkin patch was thriving and producing ample feed for the animals on the farm. The apple trees were bursting with fruit and the constant sound of dropping fruit broke the tranquil peace. We were always lucky to come to Belarus at the best time of year…when everything was bursting to life…. It had taken months of backbreaking toil to produce this harvest. In the coming weeks and months Tania and Victor would be preserving the bounty for the harsh winter that lay ahead until it broke and the cycle began once again in the spring.

Yuliya invited me for a run with young Dasha but I was still in my recovery mode and couldn’t contemplate it. I chose to stay at the homestead and look after the children. Yuliya is also keen to keep fit and enjoys the local trails running in the village. She came back after half an hour having smashed a 3km run. I really needed to get my arse into gear.

Just before lunch I put on my kit and in the height of the lunchtime sun I set out for a jog. It was hot and seriously hard. My right leg (that of the aforementioned injury) was cramping from the start despite stretching. I just pushed myself to keep going. I pushed slightly further than yesterday with a 5.1km run. Whilst running around the village locals look up as I am passing with a look that could only be compared with a naked person running up the A6 in England. Their glance highlighting that there were more useful things to do with calories than wasting it running up a dusty road for no reason. My times have dropped off since January so I am treating this as recovery training. One thing that did happen on the run was the increase in pain from my bowel region. I knew the time was upon me to experience my least and also in many ways my most favourite thing about the farm…… the outside drop toilet.

I know many of you have delighted in the tales of my midnight star gazing poos to the soundtrack of pink Floyd but this toilet is a completely different beast in the heat of the day. Although you always ensure that you go to the bottom of the farm alone (as the only way to comfortably cope with the smell is with the door open.. therefore you sit out bollock naked for any passes-by to see). In the heat of the day you are never alone as you are joined by a swarm of flies which whilst dropping your load try to tunnel there way up your arsehole. So whilst on one hand you try to open up and get rid of your offering in one quick go, you also run the risk of having to cut off mid poop to stop an inquisitive fly from inserting himself inside. Always fun and slightly harrowing. I was successful on this occasion on all regards and look forward to my next encounter with my winged nemesis.

The rest of the day was spent with a mixture of family life. Jamie becoming more confident on his bike still needed someone to help him start which meant that we had to walk backwards and forwards to the point where he was attempting to turn and inevitably fallen off. With the late afternoon heat we cooled ourselves off several times in the lake. Maia, a very good swimmer, was afraid to stray far from shore with the possibility that some local form of wildlife would touch, lick or bite her foot whilst in the deeper water. But for the rest of us the cooling waters were a welcomed relief to the dry heat that was bearing down on us.

I’m currently sat looking at the house which is partly owned by Victor and Tania. I say partly owed as there has been a family dispute this year which has caused an upheaval in living arrangements and has meant that space for us to stay has decreased. The farm owned by Yuliya’s grandparents until they became too frail to manage the land was given to Victor and Tania. Victors sister sadly passed away a few years ago and her daughter Marina then proceeded to claim that she owned an equal share in the property. The relationship deteriorated to the point that the house has now been split into two (literally a wall built down the middle of it and a new front door built on the opposite side to the existing one). This means that there are three rooms for the family to stay in (one being the kitchen). With temporary beds being shared we are relatively comfortable but the situation is far from ideal. Victor and Tanya are staying in a small one roomed building on the farm. The neighbours farm next door and a short walk away has been put on the market and Tania has rented it for a short time to enable Sergei and his family a place to stay whilst they are here. Marina spends weekends and evenings at the farm and tends to her a small piece of land. She still uses the water supply and takes produce that Tania and Victor have grown which doesn’t sit well at all. She also leaves her daughter in the house whilst she goes to work and expects Tania to look after her. Don’t you just love family politics? It has certainly added an air of tension to the holidays anytime Marina is around.

The evening was spent again teaching Jamie to ride which he is starting to manage really well. It was ended when Maia not looking where she was going collided going full tint into Jamie’s broadside and both went sprawling in a tangle of limbs and metal into the dust. With tears and cuts we decided that it was shower time for the kids. Whilst they settled Yuliya prepared dinner as Tanya was working a night shift.

We settled down for tea once the kids were settled watching television. Pink gin for the ladies, beer and vodka for the boys, Victor who is on the wagon had a lemon drink. We ate and drank until night and fallen.

Now some will be asking what delicacies I have been experiencing this time around. I have been pleasantly surprised by all the food. Each dish delicious and no issue to stomach. This was until yuliya produced a jelly this evening. Oh a jelly I hear you say “how lovely, did you have ice-cream with it”. No we did not. This jelly was made from what can only be described as the carcass of a baby lamb. Yuliya gave me a piece of meat to eat and I crunched on the gristle and forced myself to swallow whilst holding back the urge to regurgitate and ruin the table spread. Yuliya, Natasha and Sergey wolfed the jelly down whilst maniacally licking their lips. I have married a fucking monster!!

After last nights stargazing I wanted yuliya to see some shooting stars. So with young Dasha watching over the kids we went over to the other farm and sat, talked (only briefly for me) and drank and drank. The stars were magnificent and we all saw plenty of shooting stars. The talk turned to the possibility of life on other planets and then onto ghost stories. Natasha told a very spooky story about a ghost her family had experienced when she was a teenager. We all became a bit creeped out and nervously checked on the baby in the unfamiliar farm with increased drunken paranoia and anxiety.

The drinking continued beyond midnight and with much hilarity Yuliya ended up arse over tit on her back upon breaking one of the chairs. 10 minutes later she did it again with another chair. Time for bed before we ran out of chairs.

It’s now 2.00am and I am due to go running at 8am with older Dasha. Should be interesting as I lay here attempting to stop the room from spinning.

Steve x

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