Saturday, 21st August After the bus nightmare you can bet we slept like cats (babies don't sleep long enough FACT) until checkout. Last night was a one-night only and we checked into a cheaper ($16) hotel, still with en-suite, air-con and cable tv. Our target for the day was to book a boat trip to the Thousand Islands of Ha Long Bay. As with every other page in the Asian Book of Lies we were warned of dodgy trips. The shoestring guide recommendation - pay more! We scouted round the travel agents, they were f**king expensive. At one point we picked up two kiwis, Sam and Laura, and we all booked onto the tour at our hotel. Pretty sure the travel agent put out a hit contract on me after I took away four tour fees. ... read more

Monday, 16th August An early bus. Hasn't been too many of those since our rotation East. The bus driver refused to pick up 4 people at our hotel because they weren't on his list. He picked them up 3 doors down from the travel agent they bought their ticket at. That was as eventful as this one got. I even managed a few winks. I said winks. We arrived in the nation's capital, smaller than Milton Keynes and without the feel of a political centre. We did little but check ourselves into a hotel, pricier than elsewhere in Laos so far but still less than a tenner for satellite and air conditioning. Should help to pass the time whilst we wait for our Vietnamese visa. Tuesday, 17th August Vientiane, the capital I forgot to name yesterday, ... read more

Thursday, 12th August Now then. Bus journeys. Usually uneventful and usually no-one gives a sh*t so I just gloss over them. Today's was testament to the absolute ineptitude of the South East Asian transport system so far it would be a complete injustice to every other transportation system in the Universe (including the cross Saturn X34 route) to not document it. It started early (as always), 20 minutes before scheduled. No I will not get on the bus in just a towel Mr. Busman. Waiting on the bus for us to show up was an Israeli girl with no ticket and was bullied onto this minibus in the greatest miscommunication since sitcoms were banned from mocking deaf people. She had a ticket for a real bus in 45 minutes, and the bus station is not close ... read more

Saturday, 7th August Just a seven hour bus to the border today. Our hostel for the first time has a pool which we most obviously abused. I swear to God I saw Pete Townsend too. Turned out when he spoke that he was actually Pierre Villesend. It's okay I haven't told anyone. Today's gripe is with how noisy Asians eat. Sitting next to them is like being punched in the ear by a man made of garbage who squelches when he moves. I've been assaulted. It's a train wreck to look at as well, they don't open their mouths just for chewing but for speaking whilst chewing. Yuck. The whole situation is amplified when no-one else is eating, say when I'm having a quiet beer writing my diary. Sunday, 8th August We came to Chiang Khong ... read more

Saturday, 31st July Caught the bus to Sukhothai. Had to pay to get to old Sukhothai despite being told we wouldn't need to. F**k off TAT. Rip off t*ssers. Sunday, 1st August Old Sukhothai is named thus so because it is old. It also happens to be the site of the National Park where most of its heritage sits. Sukhothai was also the capital at one time but a bit longer ago and when Thailand was still Siam and the Khmers (Cambodia) ruled most of the South. We're quickly discovering this country has more capitals than A. A. Milne. We hired bikes at a reasonable £1.50 a day from our guesthouse (VITOON GUESTHOUSE). We headed towards the National Park where we realised we had become an extra from the 'there is a light that never goes ... read more