London to Mumbai to Bangkok

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Made it to Bangkok!
Wowsers! Well, we are finally here! After a marathon 33hours on the move! We arrived at 7am and couldn’t check in until 10am. I have never felt so tired in my entire life! I fell asleep in the taxi from the airport and Rachael awoke me when we arrived. Do you know on computer games, where you get shell shock from grenades and stuff? Well, I felt like that. Stumbling around the Bangkok streets. So humid too! Wearing thick jogging bottoms and carrying a thick cardigan is not the way to travel! I wanted to come home at that point. Not a good start. Decided to have a little nap when we checked in, that turned into a marathon 9 and a half hours. All because I couldn’t sleep on the plane. When we left Mumbai, I had the rest of the A-team to watch and then the new karate kid. Let me tell you, it really was worth it. With classic films like that, in a way, I didn’t want to leave.  Yeah, both rubbish. I’m keeping a diary, so I’m going to give you a little run down of our magical 33hour journey. I’m sure you’re interested.

Heathrow

I met a chap at Heathrow that was on his way to Uganda to build a school. What a lovely, selfless thing to do! He then told me about when he was in the army in Uganda, sleeping in caves and how friendly ravens were. I’d never really thought about it, but I shall be sure to befriend a few on my travels. Also, lions don’t like paraffin lamps, so if any come round, be sure to pop your lamps away.

Heathrow to Mumbai

A curry for breakfast. Different. After staying awake for 9 hours and having a massive hunger, I wolfed it down. Had a tiny nap after that. I awoke with a hot mouth, greasy skin and itchy eyes. Does anyone else get that when they nap? I’m worried for when I’m old and napping is what you do. A really hot mouth is all I walk away with.

The plane journey also got me to thinking about air travel and all that. Marvellous invention. A little tin room in the sky. A very unhealthy existence though. If you raised a child like you behaved on a plane, they would be very ill looking. ‘Sit down, sir, hot towel, sir? Have a drink, sir, watch a film, sir, some food, sir? Pull that blind down, sir, sleep, sir? Watch a film, sir? Hot towel, sir? So it continues. The experience of flying through the air is ace, but I’m just saying, if you raised a child like this, they’d definitely be a fat retard, for sure.

Mumbai airport

1:10am in the morning, proper time, don’t know what time it was there. Boiling hot we were marshalled through to the international check in bit. We weren’t greeted by friendly airport staff, or even gloomy airport staff, no no. We were greeted by the Indian army complete with rifles and pistols. They needed them because I was a real handful. Luckily, I’d packed my rifle. We had a massive gun battle and then they all declared me the winner. ‘Hooray’ someone shouted in my honour. That didn’t happen. It nearly did. It didn’t.

When we got on the bus to the plane for our final flight to Bangkok, a local man sat next to us and began to offer the spare seat to everyone that went past. ‘Come, sit here’ I assume he was saying, banging his hand enthusiastically on the seat. Six attempts later and through lack of seats, he found a taker. Perhaps it was his lazy eye that put people off. One the air stewardesses saw all of this and as the two chaps prattled on enthusiastically, she caught my eye several times and gave me a smile that suggested she understood.

Getting on the plane was a difficulty. Queuing. How is it such an English delicacy? I feel safe in a queue. There is a real sense of organisation in a queue. We all have the same thought and destination, so let’s create a bloody good queue. Not in Mumbai. Grown men and women pushing and shoving to get on the plane. I didn’t have the heart to tell them they’d booked tickets and we were all going to get on. As a teacher, my class could line up beautifully. Perhaps this isn’t being taught in other schools around the world. Don’t worry, I’m on it. I’ll post them all the pamphlet. The rest of the plane journey was fun just to watch how needy the passengers were. The stewardesses had marvellous patience. It was like watching children asking their mums questions. ‘Where do the headphones go, mum? I’m thirsty, I’m hot, I’m tired…’

Yeah, epic first day post, eh? Well, I thought you needed to know. I’ll try and get on whenever I can and add stuff. Hope it’s been a pleasant little read. There’s not really anything about the culture and all that. Sod it, that’s not how I roll.

Lots of love, Christian x x x

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