bkk,ptt,bkk,alfio,xie

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dear ano(nymous?). am aware of my dumb,negative, side i
xpress. i do cos: 1st witetrashism,2nd think it
funny,selfcritic,self,auto,ironic.3rd is part of
whole,true,self. i dont wanna stand in
shiny,nice,light. i like 2 write drunk,smoked, write on
impulse.
gullivers,free disco,poppy music, 2 active
drinksellers.
at favorite market free open air cinema, 8
screens,movies in thai. found ice coffe 5b.
take nr.2 bus 2 bangna jc, hitchhike pattaya(ptt).
chonburi, a market,d table of an empty stand,people
pass, lookin nat me strangly, bought 2 bags of veg, 2
sticky rice which i open n eat here with hands, sellers
brought me plates, was even presented with mo food.am
not sure if its just compassion or simpaty 4 hardcore
travel which make em treat me good. d mo this styled
travel d mo smile,friendly em bcome.am happy,lucky, i
didnt arrive ptt.lessnessess open so many doors that
otherwise may b would stay shut.
night, walk, search place 2 camp.
now. u ll not blieve.pick up soped.ptt.leavin car i say
thank u, he: WAIT, 200. me think, shit, no.but i
understand bad, he put 200 baht in my hand say: is
thailand ,is sport,smiles n drives away.
searched cheap gh or place 4 tent, couldnt find.
then,port, parked motorboots. climed in 1, sleeped.
face got fucked by mosquitos.
pattaya is a big, 4 masstourism made,ugly, 4 d fun of
falang dedicated, worse than ibizza, city old falang
holdin hand of thai,gogo bars, hotels. vulgarity.
07.30. left 2 bkk. girl on motorbike stop, drive me
outha city.her name is jeap, i like, nice girl. i
invite her 2 eat, after she drives back.
25 b siamsato.mp3,clean n calm gh,100 b.night.
xerimentatin some macrameoints i saw 2day. no, am no
copier. am xperimentatin.use knowledge 2 broaden my
style. my style? no, havent style. i just play,
xperimentatin,u2,one,at mp3, i like,makes me soft, no,
cant bcome good. 1st.am careless,it rooted deep in2 my
caracter.2nd.b4 i bcme good i change style,tekknik.from
alpaca 2 duropox pipes,makin silver,than
ceramic,macrame n now i turn in2 leather. substyle is
heavy,egopushin,dark, warriorstuff.saw 300? that is
what i like. want 2 put my necklace n feel
fighter,strong, intouchable.yep, phsichologist, i know,
have deep egoproblem. i know. am loser. but.
but.
am strong. losers often r. no?
apropo: u remeber? so many hapy moments rainin on my
waterprofed body. its u cos it cant b me.hm, so dark,
so true. happyness is not what life gieves u. no. its
how it soaks in2 yr skin, soul.its souls nearnes 2
love,2 od. its 4 u, cos it cant b me.
if u, somebody,anybody, would live my life. so happy,
so smile, so near 2 wisdom, 2 ilumination. yep.
i love bkk. it leaves me without energy, am weak. wake
at 8.00,9.00. walk,eat,walk,eat,
markets.walk.market,eat,disko.sleep at 03.00. now,
kings bithday,week hiperbusy,crody.free movies,free
thai box, free performances. streets lit up. bkk,theres
much 2 enjoy,many things with mo value than my sleep.
09.00,oposite guillervers, waitin 4 alfios arrival.
23.30. siamsato.fried insects. alfios mp3. nice songs.
hotel.prepare 4 disco.
si alfio. my antimaterialsim,pennysavism, d
harddicount, makes me mo materialist. allways lookin at
price, eatin only cheapcheap. i know, i xagerate. in
ordeer 2 save 5b walk much,muchmuch.but.was oftn with
little money,even without. on other hand: this
lessnessess opens man7y doors. n my
lessnessess,hardcorediscountism is no khaosaner
holidayler hipocriticism. my money income is little. n
i travel longterm. but, sorry, enough
autojustification. i know, am gettin ridicolous. ma
dai, lascia-me fare cosi.
insect bag allmost empty.roisin murphy.drunk,nice.
alfio. capisci? am no holidayler. is my life. i lufe
this. my home is nowhere. even after this tour,hawai, i
must keep gouin. my home i must create yet.
alfio arrived with female, platonic,friend.em fight, em
seperate. he need relax, dont look on money.
paralell. re-met xie. ok. re-stayed with her. nice
time. but my jelousness made me allways ask bout past n
hurt her.hua hin. touristy but ok beach. travel with
xie. why? dont ask.
alfio went 2 ko pagnan. we go krabi.
slowly,slowly.campin, free, 2 fays in forest park cha
am.beach ugly, but, samesame, we enjoy.
am ill, cant breath. cold, 1st in nose, now in
lungs.feels like asma. 3,4, days, gettin worse.
coughin ,spittijn out yello greenish jelly fuck.much.
muchmuch.
am happy, bought 50b botttle honey. gettin better.
pick up. 2day sit,stand, much in sun.hopin 2 burn out
illness. weak, but spit less green.

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