pity for the poor

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My goal is to stop my mind from seeing these people with pity and actually see them with compassion. There is a difference. A world of difference. I have read books about the poorest people in the world, i have heard stories about their way of living and the manner that the tight community works. But, still, I don't feel like my life is connected to theirs in a deep and meaningful way. I suppose, I would define compassion as a deep connection with another person in such a way that your life actually is united with theirs. I definitely want to help them - to help the kids get out of the cycle - to help show them that they are loved in the world. But, if I was going to be honest with you...I still feel like I am very much isolated.

Entering the slum you are hit by numerous overwhelming smells which consist of a mix between a 'truck stop restroom in desperate need of cleaning' / a smell of trash / and perhaps a smell that i invent in my head (which of course might be just me because I am not exactly able to shower everyday). The tent houses made of scrap wood and plastic that are grouped together in a small community that can be torn down at anytime. I am told that most people dwelling in this community are beggers, dustbin cleaners, labor workers, street shoe polishers, touts, etc. This particular slum in Dharamsala India has housed some families for 4 generations. It seems to be a cycle of poverty that is difficult to escape.

But, as I walk through the narrow paths to the tent school where I teach I have never been greeted with anything but a gracious smile and a pleasant 'Namaste' - the Hindi greeting. Every morning that I return the people become more and more friendly, as if they are letting me more and more into their misunderstood and judged lives. By the time I reach the tent school i have crowd of small kids attached to my side telling me 'good morning jason'.

Teaching is not an easy task! The first hour consists of 60-70 crazy kids sitting in rows trying to learn a bit of English. I go over common phrases such as 'good morning', 'how are you today', 'i am fine, thank you', how is the weather', 'it is sunny', 'what is your name', my name is... well, you get the point. Of course, with so many kids it is quite difficult (or impossible) to actually engage them all. I go over some spelling with letters and such.

The small kids, about age 3-6, are then separated and I stay with the older kids...up to age 14. A hindi/english teacher and I then proceed to teach math, english, and hindi - all at a very basic level. Also, the whole tent is extremely chaotic the whole time! Excitement is never found wanting!

The tent school was founded to give simple education to kids who parents do not send them off to an actual school. This is a very sad reality as about 30 or so of these kids are actually enrolled in a real school and given a uniform, food, etc to be able to attend. The school principle, whom i met yesterday, has a huge heart for these kids and actually come to beg their parents to send their kids to school...but they refuse. Most of the parents need their kids during the day for begging, labor work, or simply taking care of other kids. Plus, of course, if they are not made to go, the kids won't go to a highly structured school. So, these kids simply stay back go to the tent school from 10am-1pm.

I have two main goals, one practical and one a bit idealic. Practical - the only real knowledge I think I can pass to these students in such a crazy environment is some clear English that I hope will aid them as they grow in life. Secondly, it is such a great privilage to swallow myself everyday and love on these kids and try to show them that they are valued in this world. They really are absolutely amazing! I so want to pack them up and take them home with me (after a good bath of course)! They are very intelligent and they have so much going for them - i just hope they remember that they are really NOT untouchables. For some reason Indians highly regard Americans, so, undeserved as this is, i am humbled to simply hug these kids, share chai with the parents, take pictures in their tiny tents, and in small let them know they are cared about.


Now, my thoughs on this are pretty simple. I would like to hype up my simple efforts and try to make myself feel like i'm 'loving the poor' and really doing a good work. But, the reality is that this is just pity that consists of me on a 'high horse' feeling like me just playing with kids for few weeks is really a great thing to do. But, this is really just pity - it is not personal compassion and try love.

I completely understand that small acts are good and that we never know the impact we make on those we touch and what God will do with it. I really do believe that...and i pray that he will take my feble attempt at love and actually do a work through it. BUT, I can't help but feel like when Jesus said to love the poor and to have compassion on those in need...that He wanted us to really intertwine our lives with their lives. I love that I can teach these kids and show love in simple ways...but really, my life is not connected - and as I said before, these just seems like pity to me...not compassion.

So, I am really excited to get back and actually connecting my life with the poor in the states with the hopes that God will somehow connect my life to theirs in a personal and spiritual ways. Doing work like this is great and needed...but in order to have a real impact in the world I feel like I have to possess deep compassion - not heavy pity.

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Photos

The Tent School
This school is located in their community.

The class
All the students combined in the Tent

playing
After playing these girls for 20 minutes they spent the next 20 minutes asking for money.

the answer
this young girl is very bright.

student
there is a range between kids with a rough appearance and those with clean cloths

life
they have community.

Comments

[Stacey]

Jase- I love reading your travel blog. Every day I think to myself "I wonder where Jason is today and what he is doing." cant wait to hear more about your travels. Could you please post a funny poop story or something sometime soon? Lol... I'm SURE something funny or awkward has happened to you since you have been there so let's have it buddy! =)

[Angela]

receiving
Hey Jason, I have just read all of your blogs tonight, and I find them interesting, intriguing, and inspiring. Your girlfriend Rachel was a student in the senior honors English class I teach ( I also taught her crazy younger brother James who ordered his friend to forward me a link to your blog). I am so glad such a wonderful young woman has found a worthy young man. Bless you both. I, too, have traveled in India (one of my favorite countries) and traveled/lived in southeast Asia and have had experience working with the poor. I respond to this blog b/c I identify with your struggle to connect with them...to get over the pity. At some point I realized that to move beyond it I needed to do more than just want to give to them, but realize that they, too, had something meaningful and worthwhile to give to me. In other words, I needed to be able to let them give to me and receive/accept that gift, whatever it was. Even the poorest of the poor have something to give, and that ability to give can give them dignity -- so it becomes less about pity and more about an equal sharing, a connection. When I realized that and acted upon that realization, the connections formed. Perhaps that may work for you, too. Good luck.