This is the end...

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I’ve been gone for shy of a year and a half and I’m heading home. Things have come together and it seems its time. To you I know and to the ones who just read you might have noticed I have deleted some of my posts. Mostly because, as I read back on them, I realize they are shit; Naïve, wide eyed drivel that only the pre-pubescent teen may find enlightening much like this one. Yeah, I’m my biggest critique. Fuck knows why I started this blog in the first place other than self-praise. In fact this one will prolly be deleted so if you’re reading, enjoy this blog that will die an internet death. I hope I have changed since my first days arriving in Changchun, a massive unknown city not unlike so many in china. It’s a lesson in how small a spec we are.. Change: Travel does it to you. You become a bit more open, a bit more jaded, a bit more patient and a bit more regretful. I think personal growth is the term. I think that is why people should do it. I don’t feel I’ve been gone long enough, to be honest. It has to be one of the most difficult things to do in the world, change that is, if you want it. It takes time. We are creatures of habit, but going abroad brings challenges without holding back. It’s so easy for us to travel now but I think so few of us do it for more reasons than a two week vacation in a resort. And there is nothing wrong with that, I just think the classification of it is vacation, not travel. I love Vacation, beaches and booze, but it has its draw backs. ‘’Vacation’’ is when going home hangs over your head like an upcoming full physical and the doctors gloves are already on. ‘’Traveling’’ is not knowing what will happen next 100%. 200 years ago, going to another country could mean leaving home for years at a time. The balls they had, Jesus. I think about my relatives who went to war and who didn’t see home for years (though war is no adventure). I feel like, other then moving to a new city for a job or marriage, we are a world without the adventure of travel thrust upon us. There are so many reasons not to travel for a year or more that we beat around the bush (and don’t say money is an issue, teaching English abroad is almost free, you don’t need credentials other then a two week course, there is no age limit and you can even have kids). We are too comfortable in our daily routine…and maybe, I’m just trying to justify my own experience. Maybe, long term travel is just an escape from real life. So many of the people I’ve met in the countries I’ve been to will never travel abroad, hell, even out of their city. And they are content and live full lives. Travel is the luxury of the rich. Many of the travelers I meet are either running away from something or want something new. Its funny how, when we travel, we spend most of our time trying to capture moments of a simpler way of life. Like it’s out of our grasp and we get a glimpse of it by going to foreign countries. We envy the Farmer toiling in his field while we would never trade our lives … I understand this. The grass is always greener. What a lie! Life is simply life, Complex how it may seem, for every person on earth. You deal with what you got. It is by our choices, our desire to change or to be content that we shape it. I think travel, at its core, is just a way to put proof to statements like, ‘’it’s a small world’’ or that we are all part of humanity. One giant entity. People are the same everywhere. They want a place to sleep, things to eat, and people to talk to but we don’t fully understand it till we see it. But still, the grass is always greener.



Then maybe, we should travel to take advantage of a gift so few have. We should travel to gain experience and to open our minds to different ways of life. Maybe just to appreciate what we got. Traveling is often a selfish act but it breeds selflessness. Being anti-social or an asshole will only ruin experiences around the world and thats a lesson to take back home. You learn to depend on and appreciate a conversation. There have been days where I haven’t talked to people because I don’t know anyone, just to realize that it’s my own fault and that I have the power to change it (even if we speak different languages). Fuck self-help, go traveling.

What will happen next? Home seems synonymous with the words anxiety, responsibility and accountability. It’s the end of this trip; the ending of a good book I’ve enjoyed. I’ve been thinking a lot about South America as well. I feel like I could be gone a few more years… but that will have to be put on hold for a bit. As of right now I’m trying to get the most out of the days I have. Every garbage filled river is beautiful. Every family of 6 packed on a bike is interesting. My camera is out but I haven’t got an eye for photography. Most of my pictures wouldn’t say a thousand words if I pointed a gun at them. Southeast Asia is a place I easily feel comfortable in. China was a bitch. China is a bitch. South Africa was retardedly beautiful. Istanbul was too short. I think about the music that has been with me on the trip. There is little more important than the proper play list for traveling. The black keys are with me, Simon and Garfunkel, Constantines, cold war kids, Edward sharp and the magnetic zeros, the shins, the Beatles, Modest mouse, Maps and atlases, Mumford and sons, Jake bugg, Dan Mangan, Beruit, Dr. Dog and Jamie T just to name a few. These bands have carried me through bus rides, trains and planes, through jungles and rains. But I guess this is the end.

I think that’s enough preaching for one blog.

Josh

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Comments

[Linda]

Not really the end
Josh You have become quite the philosopher this past year. Your blogs were done, I believe, to keep you in touch with the people you left behind when you left us in July 2011. Those of us who read them want to know how you are doing (even if you are bored silly, or riding a hard seated train). They have kept you in touch with us and in our hearts. We all are looking forward to seeing you when you get home next week.....but will give you a few days to get used to our rat race!!! Love always, Linda

[Tobey]

keep them
If you delete the blog at least keep your entries. They are awesome:) One day you can put them all in a book and our kids will read them and love them:)