The Infamous March

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Having worked a total of about 4 weeks since mid December and traveling the rest of the time, March is by far the poorest, hardest month yet. It’s back to working full time (as in a full 18 hr week) which sucks getting back in the routine on top of having NO money. You know your poor when you can't afford 25 cent beer… or maybe can just go out once during the weekend. Anyways we were all strapped for cash, one of my house mates was having problems coming up with rent which caused intense tension at home and on top of all of this it was still freezing cold and our house was FULL to the brim with couch surfers. At one time we had 5 surfers. And they were all soooo amazing and some of our favorites but it can get tiring making sure everything is available for them and organizing who is coming when and people staying longer than expected and showing them around. It was literally insanity. Not only this but at the end of the month my best friend Corndog leaves to move to Laos with his girlfriend, Astrid (my first couch surfer ever)! Also one of my sorority sisters, Emi came to Hanoi for a medical conference thingy so I got to hang and visit with her for a few days.

The day shit hit the fan poor Miri was one couch surfer who got to see everything and Mex and Russ, 2 other surfers I met in Cambodia, got to deal with a raging Tom. Money issues between friends is never good. This day included Tom taking Rich’s rent money, which in turn puts Rich out on the street and possibly us too. The fence being kicked in and broken, a fist fight with a key between the knuckles, kicking Tom out of our house and finally a solution and beers to burry the crazy hatchet. What a stressful month. But it wasn’t all bad.

We had 2 great couch surfers from San Fran who came to banana island with us for some shredding and also got stuck in a flooded alley with 4 of us on one little vespa driving past a guy fishing from his doorway. I’ll never forget that. Also it’s beginning to warm up a bit, day by day. Saint Patrick’s Day was full of shenanigans and paint and lots of beer. I also met Will and Nick, 2 new house mates of Cathy. Will was in Hai Phong but left when I arrived so I only met him briefly before and Nick is a friend of a friend who had been working in South Korea and traveling and now needs some more monies. He’s from Chicago. It’s nice to have another American around because I’ve been switching over to British English but Nick brought back some American sayings as well as also being a burping enthusiast! Hahaha. Will is from Norther Ireland and is fast becoming my new best friend because Corndog is leaving… =[

We got creative with our time considering we were all really broke so we had a pin ball championship. The pin ball that I grew up playing that is still somehow installed on my computer. It’s like space pin ball. Also we (Corndog, rich and i) wrote a rap/poem. And of course on the 31^st was the Indian holiday of Holi, festival of colors. It was like a huge paint party and everyone from HP came to Hanoi and there was free beer and Johnny Walker, followed my free beer at the Backpackers Hostel, followed by Corndog’s going away party on chicken street.

Overall this month will forever live on in infamy for me. And included here is the rap we wrote about life in Vietnam.



Hai Phong City

Where the air is shitty

And the water makes you sick

Mr. Tuan still there

But the cops don’t care

They can all just suck my dick

Mr. Tuan will take you to Do Son

For pussy n seafood all paid for with his dong

We used to live in Hai Phong

In a house called bay bay Cho Don

Pedophile John scared Caitlin and Tom

When he came to get his silky knickers in nothing but his thongs



Now im not bitter

But you have to consider

The facts all point one way

In a town this ghetto

When the shit starts flyin

You best not be a tay

Wankstas be frontin

And bitches be huntin

When the white boys pop on the scene

But we just cruise past

And they say we too fast

But that just don’t understand how we play

Vietnam livin

Just aint so forgivin

When you don’t know the word on the street.

The viets be starin

And soon you stop carin

When you’s dyin in the heat.



Better check the weather before you leave

Cuz it might be sunny but there’s a typhoon you wouldn’t believe

It’s comin right for ya so you better watch out

This shit serious, best not doubt

Ponchos and goggles don’t mean a thing

When your driving 60k on your way through Ninh Binh

If we’re lucky we’ll make it out alive

Back to Ha Noi where nobody can drive

Police try n stop us but we don’t give out bribes

So we duck n dive through the traffic to hide



If your broke don’t worry

Though you wont be eating chicken curry

There’s 25 cent bia hoi, hombre

Bun cha is the best

No one can contest

And there’s always Bnah My Pate

Everything is up for a bargain

We’ve learned the viet jargom

You try to take advantage of us cuz you silly hoes

What these foold don’t be knowin

Is that we’s hustlin and flowin

And we know the going rate for their mother fukin mangoes



If you lookin for some ga

You aint gots to go very far

There’s a street called Le Van Phuc

Chicken mama got yo back son

And chicken in phat stacks son

That shit will change yo life son

And you know I aint playin

That shit be straight bangin yo

The finest in Ha Noi fo sho

And we be dropping knowledge yo

So y’all best pay attenetion

Cuz we be teachers.



Poppin wheelies at the dunes is a daily occurrence

And we aint talking bicycles so don’t make that inference

C4 is blowing up all over this city

And corndog drives the ladies crazy

It isi such a joy to be livin in this city called Ha Noi

Doin whatever we want and not being so coy

The cop try to stop us but we just say Xin Loi

Livin the easy life and fillin our tanks for bay moui

If you have to work more than 4 hours, Oi gioi oi!



Bia Ha Noi or bia Sai Gon

Don’t make a difference if you’ve got that dong

Just need a little something to quench my thirst

And this cash situation going from bad to worse

We some broke ass crachas

In a land of weed and liquor

But boredom still creepin in and its happening quicker.



Vietnam’s got charm

But does any man harm

If you stay here too long

Shit gets normal a little too informal and really fades to a dream.

What once seemed simple is now a fuckin riddle and its hard to see a way back

Gotta change this shit up and get back on track

Cuz it feels like my mind is about to fuckin snap



What would Uncle Ho do?

I should ask Lenin too

They’ve got to have some ideas

They been around this town forever

And they seem quite clever

And im goin hell for leather tryna pin this shit down

Where I put my trash at?

Who the fuck owns that cat

And why old ladies chase me down the mother fucking street?!

I don’t really get it

Should probably just forget it

No reason I should sweat it

Need to set this scene to edit

And put my consciousness some place new

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Photos

we're special
is there hope for us?

Holi
the group of us enjoying our Easter sunday at the Holi Festival... awesome

say what?
this seems familiar... flash back to October and the filming of that music video!

colored people!
we came and took over the backpackers hostel in all our colored glory.. and singing too. mostly Disney songs

grrrrr
Cathy looks fierce, like she just turned zombie and ate someone. don't worry it's just red paint in her mouth... YUCK

St. Patrick's day
me and Willy

the first beer of the day
Corndog and I starting early

before we head out
from left to right: Tom, Corndog, cathy, Will, Rich

Nick
i convinced him i was a "tay xe om" (westerner motor bike taxi) driver and that i got in an accident with a bus and that's why i was wearing my boot... haha love how gullible people are =]