Pass The Pina Colada


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Asia » Thailand
February 17th 2012
Published: June 23rd 2017
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Geo: 9.41744, 99.9349

It's hard work wandering the planet and having other people cook, clean, and transport you around. Well maybe "hard work" is overstating the case just a little but we were somehow able to convince ourselves that we needed a vacation from our vacation- we had finished our loop through North Thailand, Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia, and we were now back in Thailand looking for a couple weeks of serious beach tourism in the South before continuing on into Malaysia (get your atlas out Deb P- we're still not in Japan). It was probably harder to plan this leg of the journey than any other- when it comes to beach options you're spoiled for choice in South Thailand. I googled 'the best Thai beaches for girls wearing dental floss for bikinis' and DH promptly crossed those off the list. We finally settled on starting in Koh Samui with the idea of spending some time in Phuket, Krabbie, and Koh Lanta, on our way to even more beaches in Malaysia.

It looked to be a great plan if you looked at a map... not as great when you factored in the weather forecasts. Koh Samui looked fabulous but there was a lot of rain happening on the western shores of South Thailand and, even more concerning, March and April are the wettest months for Malaysia. Avoiding snow is an absolute must, but rain avoidance ranks high on our list as well so the only thing left to do was change the plan- although the beauty of never knowing what you're going to be doing 3 or 4 days out means you're not really 'changing' the plan (too much work), you're just heading in another direction- kind of like one of those wind-up toys that just goes the other way when it bumps into something. So instead of continuing south, we've decided to head back to Bangkok after our stay in Koh Samui, and then catch a flight to the Philippines.

But I'm getting ahead of the story. Koh Samui was now going to be our one and only stop in the beach paradise of South Thailand- after all, a beach is a beach is a beach?? Samui is a relatively large island which presented it's own dilemma- which beach area were we going to choose for our two weeks of blissful baking in the sun. We booked into the Lamai Beach area to take advantage of the blazing night life that a couple of party animals like us crave (as long as we're in bed by 10:00pm!). The Lamai Beach was actually pretty good if a little crowded- nice big waves that tossed you around in a fun way (and deposited beach sand in areas that beach sand doesn't belong in). Unfortunately the town around the beach had that look of a gigantic souvenir stand that had gone the distance with Mohammad Ali- in places, it had to aspire to be seedy with one too many open-air bars with girls dancing up on tables. And the tourists hanging out here looked to be a little rough- the prevailing fashion statement seemed to be shirtless and three stripe Adidas shorts combined with stretched tattoos and excessive front & back body hair (and that was just the women!).

On the other side of the island we found our spot- the Coconut Villa and Resort was almost completely isolated but it had all of the key essentials that make for a pampered stay. Private beach, spa, two pools including a long 94 metre beast that would give us a shot at some cardio workouts, a beachfront bar and restaurant, and nice big a/c rooms with multiple fluffy pillows. DH immediately parlayed the guilt associated with my not delivering a suitable Valentines Day gift into a second week at this little bit of paradise. It was almost alarming to see how quickly DH settled into the sun-tanner lifestyle (Christine L would be proud)- while I was busily staking a claim to the somewhat elusive shady parts, DH was constantly repositioning her lounger to catch the maximum sun possible (apparently shadows are the bane of any serious sun worshiper) and she put in a number of full days (with only occasional breaks for lunch and non-alcoholic Happy Hour pina coladas). Over the 14 days we only left the resort twice- once to spend a full day circling the island on scooters aka hogs, and once to visit Chaweng Beach which was a more grown-up version of Lamai (there were a number of hopping beach parties with some serious drinking going on which maybe explained the number of men wearing tiny Speedo's... at least I think they were wearing Speedo's??). All of her hard work paid off and by the end of our two week stay DH was a captivating bronzed goddess, so much so that I didn't even notice the topless, blond German girl wearing a micro bottom who showed up on our last day at the resort.

We now have to get geared up to resume our traveling (which might require some extra time since DH can't pass a mirror without checking out her new tan). Even with our change in direction, however, the next couple of months will see us near beaches or in the ocean so this might become habit-forming.

And to all those many people who emailed us with concern that they hadn't heard from us in quite some time (mom & Sid H) there's nothing to worry about- there's just not much to say about 14 straight days of suntanning!


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28th February 2012

Hmmm I seem to recall a similar situation on Bondi Beach in Sydney around 1988!
29th February 2012

Deb...You look GREAT.
29th February 2012

Vic... you look good too.
2nd March 2012

I am trying to plan ahead for our arrival to the Thai beaches.....hey Vic, maybe you could pass along the list you created...you know for the ladies in bikinis?? Emily says its okay as long as you also attach your list of destinations for m
en in speedos! Maybe these could make your TOP 10's...which I read and are great!
10th March 2012

Deb/VicHave you guys fallen off the face of the earth?Mike/Karen

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