Life is on the rock

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I am sorry, finally I can't daily update my silly life on here. I won't promise anymore that I will update my uneventful life on here daily because I know now that I cannot do it and I feel bad when I say something, but I can't do it, not to someone else but myself. What have happened for twelve days that I haven't updated anything here? Nothing much really happened, or another word is there is nothing interested happened at all. I feel like my life is not worthy at all, there's a question popped up in my head why I got the chance to have a longer life than my sister's who has a three years old son that needs her the most. I feel like I am suck at this life and feel like I am totally useless. I just live a life without having inspirations. I need the inspirations back, I need the old Puk back. I hate being in the shadow of her any more, I am tired. I sometimes do really want to give up on everything in my life, and give my abilities to anyone that is worth it.



Today is another day in hell, I feel like I am getting back to being like the girl who built the wall up again. I somehow think that it's the best way to live behind the wall I built. I feel safe but the most bad part is that I never felt completed. Therefore, I spend my life pay attention to my 'books' rather than my feelings. Thank you all the authors that created the best novels in the world. At least, I could be 'someone else' in the books and don't even have to worry to be 'me'. I just finished reading 'The Fault in Our Stars' yesterday, I spent two day finished reading the book and I am grateful that I found this book and made a decision to give John Green a chance. Augustus showed me what the life is when we all have the limited time in our hand. He showed me that we have to fight for everything that worth fighting for. Bad thing is that I will never had a chance to watch it in a cinema as it won't be released in Thailand. Luck never be by my side, really. NICE LIFE I HAVE? I think you don't even want t take a look for a sec, I swear.

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